When Roses Don’t Come
It was Sunday morning, Mother’s Day, and I was greeting women at the back of the church. First one took my hand and blinked back a tear as she told me how hard this day is for her. She never could have a baby of her own.
Another hugged me and thanked me for praying for those who hurt on this day. Her grown kids never call and her heart aches. Another missed her mom who had died. Another longed for her child who is gone.
One was not there at all. She had told me she wouldn’t be. She believes she has failed as a mother and the feelings are too hard to face, so she ignores the day.
Still another gave me a long silent hug… no words. We had walked together for a piece on the road of post abortion.
Mother’s Day is heralded far and wide and it is a wonderful celebration. Sunday brunches, roses by the dozen, spa day specials and breakfast in bed all help set aside the day to honor mothers.
Yet for so many it is a day of unspoken pain.
But there is a place for you when the roses don’t come and there is no seat at the brunch. There is a special invitation just for you… listen… it comes from the heart of your Father God, spoken by His Son, Jesus.
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest… rest for your souls” (Matthew 11:28, 29).
The invitation is for those who have pain within their soul; those who are burdened down and weary; those for whom Mother’s Day hurts.
How do you claim this rest when your soul is in pain?
You reply to His invitation.
Father God, my heart hurts with unspoken pain. I need Your help to just get through today. I need Your comfort, Your strength and even Your forgiveness for the times I have blamed You for my hurt. Today I give You the empty spaces in my soul. I give You my pain and I ask You to bring Your healing to my damaged emotions and to my life. Thank You for the promise of rest for my weary soul. I lean on You today. In Jesus’ name, amen.
If your heart hurts this Mother’s Day, there are some things you can do as you look to God to bring rest to your soul.
Symbolic gestures can be helpful in bringing healing. As you have asked God to bring you comfort, consider some tangible action as you focus on Him, your Helper and your Healer.
Consider planting a rose bush if you have lost a child by miscarriage, death or abortion, in memory of that special little life.
Take a potted plant to a nursing home if you are missing your own mom who is gone, or filled with regret for what you did not have with her when she was alive. Brighten some elderly mother’s lonely day and let her know she is cared about.
Reach out to a child who is starved for the love you have to give and ask God to begin to heal your heart. This takes time. Be gentle with yourself and run often to the Father for His continued healing.
Send a simple “I’m thinking of you” card to someone. If relationships are strained or cut off, ask God to show you how to begin rebuilding. Go slow and ask for His direction.
Invite a friend to a picnic in the park or to sit on your deck and drink iced tea on Mother’s Day.
Our Father God desires for your heart to be whole and healed and to give you rest for your soul. He always pulls us upward and onward. It will take time, but with your hand in His, He will enable you to move forward.
If you are stuck on inward and downward, talk to a trusted friend, pray together, get counsel if necessary.
God waits with open arms to comfort you. His desire for you is to heal your broken heart. Let this Mother’s Day be different. Accept His invitation and begin the journey from pain to promise and find rest for your soul.
About the Author
This devotional was written by Gail Rodgers. Learn more about Gail: http://www.talk.thelife.com/gail-rodgers/
Questions
1. What are your own sentiments about Mother’s Day?
2. How will you reach out to those for whom this is a painful day?
Comments
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thank you for understanding what I mean about mothers day and how it means, hurt. And yes the cards that say that our mothers are there for us no matter what,is a lie and how mothers love their children no matter what. She was and is still a bad mother she could not be there for me the day my husband left for IRAIQ. She talked about how bad her life was with my dad and how her life sucks and the day that my husband left to defend our country that meant nothing to her
she went on to tell me how her life sucked being with my dad and you know what she choose that life I did not. And she should have been more grateful that her son-in -law was serving her country and her daughter was the wife of that soldier. But no she chose to talk about her miserable life with my dad that I love so dearly and I am sorry for her she is a bad mother and I am not ashamed to say that she is a bad mother.She should have been there for me and not talk to me about her miserable life. (It should have been baby I am sorry that he had to go over there and I am sorry that you have to go through this and I will pray for him for his safe return and if you ever need anything just let me know)But no I got none of that she was all about her self.I am sorry to lay this all on you I was just giving you an example sorry I got carried away
lisa
HEY SHARYL,
He will come around and if there is anything that you both need to resolve do it now and if you are the one that is wanting the relationship it should be you that needs to make the first step in trying to find out what is wrong. The reason I am saying this is cause if you make the first step, then in the near future if the relationship is still not going well then you can say that you tryed to do every thing in your power to make things right.I am sorry to be so blunt but did you say anything to make him feel that you did not except his non believing wife? If so then you have to make that right with him. He might know that you don’t except that his new wife is a non beleiver,and if you had a good relationship with him before, then maybe that is the strain on your relaitonship with him. When we as children become adults and we find someone we love, we are so in love with that person and want to marry them,our parents are not going to keep us from that person no matter what they think. We have to make mistakes in life to learn from them and I am not saying that this is a mistake with your son. I am just saying let him live life and who knows he might turn her around. I married a Catholic and I am Baptist and he is in IRAIQ and I have been sending him books from the church and he has been reading them and it shocked me that he would, I just tryed to see if he would, and he did. And when he comes home he is going to church with me and maybe join. So you see it is not a bad thing that your son married a nonbeliever it maybe a way for you and him to do gods work, so look at it this way you can still have a relationship with your son, give her the benefit of the doubt.Give her a chance I have known alot of nonbeleivers and the ones that believe in science and they only believe that we are created from monkeys how weird is that. So anyway give her a chance find out what where she comes from and what she believes before you judge you may find out that she was misled in some way. And maybe if you listen to her she may listen to you but be aware don’t make it a argument those don’t go so well. Be patient with her.
your friend lisa
Lisa, I completely understand how difficult this Mother’s Day is for you and I will pray that you might feel God’s presence and love and be reasurred how much he loves you. I will also pray that he will send a friend to you. I too have a strained relationship with my son and his wife. He married an unbeliever and is not walking with the Lord. He is not a happy person but I love him so much !!! Please pray that he will ask me to breakfast someday as I have asked about this for two years. I think he does not want to be with me alone. I really appreciated this devotion. Sharyl stholen@escapees.com
I hear what you are saying Lisa! Sometimes our mothers aren’t there for us and that makes Mother’s Day a difficult time. All the cards saying how wonderful they are, and how supportive of us in the difficult times feel like a lie. You have the right attitude….being thankful for the people in your life that are there for you and understand what a difficult time this is for you and for a great mother in law! I always said that I had the best In-laws in the world because they were always soooo supportive and never said a negative thing to me! What a blessing in my life! May God bless you with special friends who will be there for you thru your husband’s deployment!
I too have had miscarriages one in 1999 and another in 2005.I am 35 and these are the only times I have become pregnant in my whole 35 years,and still struggling to have a child and I have been down a long road, but I have excepted that but what I can’t except is this, My mother and I have a strain on our relationship and we used to be really close as mother and child should be, And somedays I think that I can fix it and others I just quiet trying, it took me alot of years of counseling and praying to except that I will never have the mother I should have, I see my friends with their mothers and wish that I had the same relationship with my own mother again.The kind of relationship that no matter what you do or say your mother will always be there for you. So this mothers day is going to be really hard for me cause I don’t have a close relationship with her anymore. My husband is in Iraiq and the day he left I wanted to talk to my mother that was the first person I called cause I really thought that she would be there for me cause this was the worst day of my life and he is going over there to fight for our country and that is a job to be proud of and the simple fact is that I don’t know when I will ever see him again, well after I told her he was gone and where ,she went on to tell me how bad her life was and how my daddy treated her it made me sad for her, not because of her life but what she was doing to me her daughter and then that was it I have not spoken to her since.She does not write me and she never has and she never calls if there are phone calls I call her so what else do I do I cannot fix this or her. So this mothers day I will focus on what god has given me in my life a great husband and best friend and friends that are mothers and friends that aren’t mothers.And last but not least my friends mothers cause they know how hard it has been for me with the deployment and they are willing to be my mother also and the next tribute I would like to say is my mother in law she is a good mother also to me and my husband.We are both lucky
I agree so much! Having had multiple miscarriages, Mother’s Day was once a very painful day. It has made me much more aware of the struggles and even now as a mother and grandmother, I look for the women in my life to encourage when we get close to Mother’s Day…what a great reminder!
For Gail, this devotional was wonderful. You always touch the true heart of women. Thank you for the words I need to hear. Thank you for the great suggestions at the end. I plan to support some women and myself on this day, rather than the way I have let the day come and go in the past. I have plenty of friends that are mothers, elderly, young, women struggling with the decision of their abortion, a mother with a passed away child, an infertile mother, and on. Mothers everywhere need to hear your words. Thanks again.
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