Revenge or Forgiveness
I’m sure we’ve all been there…someone has hurt us, and we want to do something, anything, to get back at them. But to what extent would we go to exact revenge? On the newsmagazine show 20/20 last week, there was a two hour special on people who went to the ultimate extreme for revenge. Profiled were several people who plotted and in most cases succeeded in murdering those who wronged them. Most often, it’s jilted lovers but in one case, a business rival. “The more we care, the more we hurt???…so does that mean we should not care as much so we won’t be hurt as much?
On the flip side, there is forgiveness. One Dr. Phil guest recently wished to be reunited with her father after his release from jail. His crime? The murder of her mother. How many of us can say that we could forgive someone who has committed such a crime against us?
Revenge or forgiveness? Plotting or taking revenge might be more immediately satisfying, but the consequences far reaching. Forgiveness may seem impossible at first, but is ultimately freeing. Some might say the sweetest revenge is forgiving, forgetting and moving on. What would you say?
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Please forward this comment to Ty so he can reply, Thank you.
I received a letter from each of my daughters today. They both claim to love me but it looks like I have failed to show them a transformation in my life. I am meeting with my Pastor tomorrow for some help and advice. They seem to want me to be involved in an on going 12 step program with a mentor. It seems right now to me like that is going backwards because I took all that 17 years ago. They want me involved in a program before they will even consider speaking to us. Well, Ty, I have really made a mess of my life and there is just no way to go back and fix it. I believe that I was a Carnal Christian when all this was happening and I know that I have grown in the Lord a whole lot in the last few months. Don’t know what else to say but thank you for listening.
Daniel, I am here now. I am sorry but we can’t be here 24/7 my hours on the blog 8-4:30 pst time Monday to Friday. I do care and I hear your hurting heart and forgiveness is granted whole heartedly. I really think you need be patient for the mentor to reply. If you have filled out the form it can take between 5-7 days for a reply but someone will be in touch with you.
As you know L_cool_J answers are needed as soon as possible to relieve the stress. I have replied to one of the mentors but have yet to receive a response. My wife and I have been going threw this trial for 5 months now. I am not sure how much more I can handle…
Daniel if you would like to talk with one of our mentors go to http://thelife.com/interactive/ask.html and one of our mentors will help you in this trial.
No, Daniel you are not alone in fact there is a God out there that loves so much that he sent his son to die on a cross for you. So that we may experience forgiveness. Thats why when you show forgiveness and not revenge it feels right. Daniel, it sounds like you are really going through something. We would really like to help you. Would you like to talk with one of our email mentors? Please let me know.
Is anyone there ? Or am I alone ?
I have never read the bible , yet I understand that true release comes from forgiveness not revenge. Maybe I am stuck in the hold of a co-worker or in true denial. But forgiveness and truth has always shown me the way to peace and content. Please respond !!
Tp revenge is evil or not understood by the one whom seeks revenge. It only shows that we really care about those that we seek revenge upon. To forgive is an honor and not a weakness. If it feels right in your heart then it is right !!! I wish she understood !!
I think I discovered the answer to your question, “How do we make sense that God says – Revenge is mine? The answer I found is what David tells us in Psalm 73.
In this Psalm, we see what a terrible fate awaits them, unless they turn to God for mercy through His son, Jesus.
I agree that all have sinned and we need to forgive because we realized we have been forgiven MUCH. I also believe that total trust in God also entails trusting in His judgment, that the wicked will not always continue to flourish. Otherwise how do we make sense that God says “Revenge is mine” (Rom 12:19)?
The key to forgiveness is for us to actually realize that we ourselves have been forgiven for much and that without His forgivenes we would be nothing. How can I NOT forgive someone when God has forgiven me for my messes. The Bible says that we ALL have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. It also says that there is no one righteous, not even one. True forgiveness and total trust in God is what starts the healing process within our hearts.
I agree that sometimes it doesn’t “feel” as though the person deserves to be forgiven. But as I recognized my own sins, I am so thankful that He doesn’t base His forgiveness upon my own merits.
As Christians, we don’t “agree” with the sin at all..God hates sin. But when we realize that God sent His own son to die for our sins and the sins of the world, we understand His mercy and forgivness. We ask Him to help us love others as we love ourselves and give us the ability to forgive their trepasses against us. Forgiveness frees us from the past and gives us victory.
If you hate your brother, it is as good as committing murder.
This is a real challenge when I think of unforgiveness. Forgiving is really exercise of mercy because the person usually does not “deserved” to be forgiven. In fact it feels as if they deserve to be punished or at least feel the hurt they have inflicted upon me. That is why I think revenge is the option that some would choose. There is a sense of injustice and you want to right a wrong – “an eye for an eye” is also a concept found in the bible. So how do Christians deal with this sense of injustice when you’ve been wronged or deeply wounded? Do we uphold righteousness by ignoring such evil or injustice? When we ask others to forgive are we telling them that God does not care that we have been wronged, betrayed, violated, etc?
Once I was thinking about forgiveness and who deserves to be forgiven and all of sudden, I came to the realization, “Isn’t God amazing that he loves us so much that we don’t have to be the judge. We don’t have to decide if people deserve to go to heaven or not. Thats all up to God and we only have to worry about is our own hearts and if we have clean hearts. For me that takes a load of my back, I am only responsible for my own actions!
The story of Joseph in the Bible has ministered to me throughout my life. Joseph’s brothers were jealous of him and sold him into slavery, but God had a purpose for Joseph and instead of becoming bitter, Joseph trusted God. I am thankful that God can use even the “bad things” in our lives and bring good from them.
I am currently reading a book called “LOVE The Way to Victory” learning the difference between human love and God’s Love, and boy is there ever a difference. After reading several chapters I realized how much people confuse the two and do not realize how much they do not walk in love in God’s Kind of Love. One chapter devoted to Forgiveness, the author makes it very clear to express that when we repent or ask for forgiveness, that We are forgiven, and our sins are forgotten! Meaning we are to never look back at our past, in a sense if we ask to be forgiven for screaming at our child, the more we dwell the more we are not being forgiven not by God but ourselves. Forgiveness not only comes in the hand of asking for it, but also learning to forgive ourselves and others. Any ill feeling left behind after “forgiving” isn’t really forgiving needless to say. We are also not to feel ill towards others and ourselves, anyone that reads the bible knows this.
I learned so much reading this book gave me a whole new perspective on forgiveness, and how so easily forgiveness really affects our lives (being angry, hateful, grudgeful) boils us, leading us to the path of hate, it’s just not a good place to be. Revenge is just that… Dwelling on anger/hate…
Even though I can’t say that I will be easy to forgive I also know as long as I don’t I will not be able to fully walk in love, and walking in love equals happier healthier life, sometimes it’s just better to forgive/forget as I definetly love that God does this for me!
I would never go as far as to plot to kill someone, but I will deliberately go around someone at church so as not to have to speak to them because they have said something to hurt me. Isn’t that unforgiveness too?? Something to work on.
I like to think that I’ve been doing pretty good at leaving the revenge up to God, but every now and then I catch myself wishing I could go back in time and just…….But then I shake myself off and go on. It takes too much out of me and I prefer to spend my time these days enjoying the time I have left, since I wasted so much the first half of my life without the Lord. A couple of years ago my dad died. At that time I still thought he was just the uncle that had helped raise me since I was a baby. On the day the doctor told us he was going to die, I found out I was his real daughter. He was actually married to my aunt (my mother’s sister) and this whole time I had been told he was just my uncle. Of course my mom still denies it. My aunt passed away with the secret years ago and it took close friends of the family to let the cat out of the bag at his funeral also. Needless to say, I stayed angry with my mom for a long time, and tried to think of ways to be mean to her when she’d call, but one day I finally gave it over to God and let Him deal with it. After all, my mom is the only parent I have left and it’s not like I don’t have a bunch of skeletons in my closet already that I think only God knows about. I have to practice forgiveness, notice I said practice, on a daily basis. I can look back now at my age, 50, and see how much time I wasted when I could have been living life to it’s fullest. Instead, I would be plotting, scheming, carrying around useless anger. Oh the things I could have done, the love I could have experienced and the people I could have helped with all that extra time. Nope, forgiveness is the better way to go, but that too takes time and much practice, practice, practice, practice……..
Okay, I will admit that I am a big fan of horror movies. I like the kind where I can try to put the pieces of the puzzle together and figure it out. Last night, my husband and I watched Saw III. This movie had a lot to do with revenge and/or forgiveness. I don’t want to give anything away but it’s about the choices you make to either forgive someone or seek revenge and how that decision can then affect your life and well being. Even though some parts were a little gory. There really was a deeper message than most horror movies that I’ve seen. It really got us talking and thinking. How far would you go to forgive or save someone that has hurt you or your family? For me, I like to think that I would always choose to forgive. I have chosen that path so far even though it has taken me a while in some cases and it definitely is a daily struggle with certain people to keep on forgiving. However, Jesus didn’t die for one of my sins or tell me that I would be forgiven for one thing only. I cannot say that to those around me either. I pray continually that God will keep my heart soft and help me to search out the good in those who hurt me. I pray that they will find their way to God and maybe in some small way, my actions and love toward them will display the incredible amount of love waiting for them from God. I know that God forgives me on a daily basis (although I tell my hubby different, I know I am not a perfect person!). Thank you God for not giving up on me or telling me that you’ve already forgiven me too many times. Thank you for being patient and wanting me to be yours. Jesus, thank you for making the ultimate sacrifice for me. Your love shows me the way.
sometimes it’s easier to plot revenge than forgive, i have never actually prferred forgiveness as a rule cos i keep thinking that a thousand years for us is like a day to God so when is He going to revenge. With the death of my cousin, i had to learn forgiveness, i wanted to physically hire people to shoot down the monsters that i felt had killed him, i wanted justice like yesterday but God taught me forgiveness, He taught me some serious forgiveness… it’s not easy but it’s what He requires from us, His word says that He can not be mocked, Whatsoever a man sows so will he reap and I know that He is not man that He should lie and boy do i pity the people that He decides to revenge on… but think about it, us asking that He should revenge on our behalf, how about the people that we have hurt, the people that have cried out to Him that justice should be done for…