by Suzanne Benner
**How to stop hiding: http://thelife.com/study/secrets.html?section=secrets
“Because of the increase of wickedness, the love of most will grow cold, but he who stands firm to the end will be saved” (Matthew 24:12, 13).
Jesus told His disciples that in the end days as wickedness intensified most people would become apathetic toward God.
Have you grown weary with loving? Have you given up trying?
Our love for God is demonstrated by our love for those around us.
“This is love for God: to obey His commands” (1 John 5:3).
“The entire law is summed up in a single command: Love your neighbor as yourself” (Galatians 5:14).
Oh, we usually start out right. In marriage, with our siblings, in friendships – as believers we begin with a sense of hopeful expectation. Willingly, we give effort, attention and love to our relationships.
After a while, though, if our kind actions are ignored or our encouraging words are rebuffed, we grow tired. It no longer seems worth the effort to love.
It doesn’t seem like sin; it’s not like we become nasty or spiteful, we’re just no longer inclined to be generous or take initiative.
When that occurs, we have permitted ourselves to become indifferent to the command of God. We have allowed our love to grow cold.
No doubt, there is wickedness all around us. Clearly it is increasing day by day, year by year.
Jesus foretold it would happen, as well as the effect that it would have on most people’s hearts.
Therefore, we need to heed His warning and continue to love unconditionally.
~Holy God, I don’t want to become indifferent toward You or the people around me. Don’t let my love grow cold. Instead, enable me to keep on loving with Your love.
Questions: In what areas of your life have you allowed your love to grow cold? How can we rely on the supernatural power of the Holy Spirit to enable us to love regardless of how it is received?
About the Author: http://talk.thelife.com/authors/suzanne-benner/
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I at the age 0f 73 have decided that I live in a differentr world as my children. My childrfen were broght up in the Christian chnurch with Sunday School etc. After confirmation when listening to the word of God, they dont’ think thet have to do any more for the kintgdomn of God. They are of the me 1st generation. I pray thata they realaize that they have to give back to society inbthanks for all their blessings. I am a dissapointed senior citizen
does anyone else feel somewhat like this?
carol
Yes Carol, I am 60, and I see this in my child that is 30. Pray for him constantly and know only the Lord can change his heart which is my prayer. The Lord desires to draw him closer to Him so I know that prayer is being answered. Praise Him!!
In the meantime I love my son with the love of Christ.
Don’t give up on your children! God can change them!!
Hi….I have been praying so hard after reading throughout God’s word to love…and its so hard at times specially when its dealing with somone who chooses to sin continually without any regard to the people it hurts…my husband is a alcoholic/addicted to drugs yet he believes in GOD….very hard to deal with and love……at the same time….but I know God loves me so I will continue to surrender my will to His and wait for Him to give me the love that is a mirror to His…
Carol, I can so relate to you and the dilemna we face. My pastor is of Generation X and that makes it expremely hard for m. My girls married men from another denomination who believe in a closer walk of the Bible and in the Bible as the Word of God. Sadly, at this point my son has no direction to any organized church. I still have faith that nothing can touch os unless the Lord allows it, and even then the worst must pass through the scars in the hands of Jesus.
I need to occasionally read a devotional like this because although I love my husband and my family – I might tend to grow cold and right now while he is at work, I am thinking that I should call him and let him know that he is loved just as much as always. I think I will! I know the power of prayer to change someone and I know those of you do too and it is great to see that many depend on our loving Lord to make changes for us that we have difficulty dealing with. I just thank the Lord for taking our problems from us and making changes He sees fit. Lynda
June L., you’re back :-}! Glad to hear from you :-}.
Kerry Y., please understand, your husband isn’t CHOOSING to drink or to do the things he does when he is under the influence (even a little bit). Alcohol cuts off a person’s ability to connect with God, so His power doesn’t come through.
Your husband is powerless. He cannot be the person God intended him to be (for any length of time whatever), and he probably doesn’t even realize his lack of connection. He might be aware of some of his bad fruits, and he might feel self-centered guilt and remorse, but his heart is dulled/made cold by the alcohol. I know. I have been there. As much as he might want to be different, he CAN’T be.
This is entirely between your husband and God. You can’t do anything more than pray and try to be the best person you can be today. If he asks for help, you can support him in reaching out, but you can’t do it FOR him.
You didn’t cause it, you can’t control it, you can’t cure it. Only God can arrest your husband’s drinking.
Alcoholism is a total-person disease. It has physical, spiritual, mental, emotional, and social components.
The physical part of the disease ensures that your husband will never NOT be an alcoholic. There IS a genetic component involved, and the liver processes alcohol differently than non-alcoholics’ livers do.
Alcoholics metabolise alcohol in a way that creates THIQ (tetrahydroisoquinolone). This substance accumulates in the brain, and makes the sensation of alcohol much more powerful for him/her than it is for others. It is like adding heroin or morphine to every ounce of alcohol the alcoholic ingests.
So, even when an alcoholic gets sober and straightens out spiritually, mentally, and emotionally, the physical makeup never returns to normal. The first drink of anything alcoholic can wake up that monster all over again, and the alcoholic is powerless all over again. And that is just the physical part of the disease.
An illustration sometimes used is that of a cucumber. If you put a cucumber in a barrel of brine, close the lid, and let it sit, and then come back in a year to look at it, it is no longer a cucumber, it is a pickle. No one knows at exactly what point the cucumber crossed the line and became a pickle, but it did, and it will never go back to being a cucumber again.
That is what alcoholism is like. It can be put into remission and kept that way “contingent upon the maintenance of [his/her] spiritual condition.” But without daily spiritual maintenance and a healthy personal relationship with God, the alcoholic WILL drink again.
The alcoholic will first become spiritually weakened or disconnected, then emotionally and mentally “dis-eased,” and then get to a point where s/he he “is without any mental defense” (powerless, can’t stop him/herself) against taking another drink.
Once the alcohol is in the body, the physical part of the disease kicks in, and the alcoholic is once again absolutely powerless to stop him/herself from drinking or doing the things the alcohol causes him/her to do.
Again, only God’s intervention and the alcoholic’s POWERLESS DESIRE to not drink can break the hold that alcohol has.
Most people, some alcoholics included (especially those still drinking), think that alcoholics CHOOSE to drink, but they don’t. When they get sober, God gives them back the ability to choose–but the alcoholic can lose that by trading it in for not working on a good relationship with Him on a daily basis.
To do the things that keep an alcoholic close to God is really the only point where the alcoholic truely has choice. If s/he chooses not to, then s/he loses the ability to choose.
Alcoholics are excellent actors. When actively drinking, they can appear to be making good and bad choices, but the truth is, they are lying to themselves; the alcohol (or satan, if you will) is calling the shots. They lie to themselves because they can’t see or face the truth.
Those around them don’t see the truth because they don’t understand “the disease that doesn’t make sense (given it’s costs),” because they are in denial, too (alcoholism still carries a stigma, for instance), or because they’ve been around alcoholics or other dysfunction all their lives and don’t see that what is going on isn’t normal.
So then you have the alcoholic who lies about having a choice (to him/herself and others), which only reinforces that lie for others, and the cycle goes around and around and around until it gets broken.
But the truth is, and alcoholic CAN’T CHOOSE, not matter how much intellectual belief or knowledge of God and the Bible s/he has.
It really IS a dreadful disease!
Now, back to my own state:
This is a good devotional for me today. I have been feeling a cool of heart for a few days. I have acceptance of my dad’s death being what was supposed to happen to come to; forgiveness of, and amends to my mother to make for telling her I thought it was her fault he died; forgiveness of all three of my pastors to come to; willingness and ability to reach out and encourage them to gain; and restoration of my willingness to spend time on my knees with God and to pray from my heart for others to obtain.
I seem to “cycle,” or ride a slow roller coaster in my desire to be close to God and to do His will. It usually seems to happen as innocently as described in this devotional. The usual ups and downs seem to run in weeks, and the ones that come around bigger insights tend to go up and down within a day to a few days.
These are spiritual feelings that I am talking about. I can identify physical factors as the cause sometimes, like being sick or being hormone related sometimes, or emotional factors because of circumstances at others, but sometimes I have no idea why the ride. It is pretty disorienting.
Does this make sense? Does or has anyone else experience(d) this?
When I read the devotional this morning, my heart quickened as my husband and I are having a lot of difficulties. It is hard to show him love when he acts like a bully. I identify with Kerry above. How much longer can I keep giving when my emotional tank is drained? I pray and don’t feel the strength to deal with my husband. I am vibrant away from him, but miserable and snappy around him.
Sorry, I got tangled up in my thoughts: The things I need to do are things I am feeling lukewarm or tepid towards today, and the “at others” in the second to last paragraph should have said, “at other times.”
Oh, no. I forgot to mention I didn’t make the 8 or 8:30 am wake up today. I slept until about 9 and got up at 9:30. Still need help with this.
Also, I might see Bill tonight. If not tonight, tomorrow night–as long as he can make it. He didn’t come to CR, yet, but I’m still hoping, and will resume praying more consistently for him, too.
God’s intervention for an alcoholic CAN be in the form of talking with another, sober, alcoholic. When a sober alcoholic convinces an active (but not drunk) alcoholic that s/he really HAS “been there,”(with an honesty only an alcoholic can have with an alcoholic) and then tells him/her the truely hopeless condition s/he is in, THAT can carry weight.
If nothing else, being told the truth by someone the alcoholic KNOWS (has credibility) is telling the truth will at least “ruin their drinking,” and might “raise their bottom”—possibly bringing them around a little sooner.
But still, it will be in GOD’s time, not ours.
Hope this helps :-}.
Ohhhhh thank you so much for this insight Dianne and (I’m sorry I didnt get it) but I am going to print this out and keep it in my Bible….thank you Sister in Christ..and in my Spirit..I agree…I asked the Lord to please talk to me..give me direction and I feel this is an answered prayer….God Bless You..and appreciate prayers….cause I DO want and desire to do and be all I can be for Christ!!!!
Thank YOU, Kerry! I try not to divulge TOO much on this site, but today I felt the need to do so. And it came readily. I needed to remember these things also, because I minimize the importance of keeping my own “spiritual condition” in shape. I tend to think it is optional, but it is not!
Thank you so much :-}, you have helped to make my day!
Dianne,
Well…I thank GOD you did give a lengthy and detailed comment…and like I said…I was praying and asking God for some direction and word……and at first I wasnt going to leave a comment because I think in the past I left one and I never got a response…so as a time as this…I followed the tuck on my heart and man..GOD IS FAITHFUL!!!!! BE BLESSED!!!!!
Ouch. This one hits too close to home. It is easier for me to “rationalize” unconditional love to someone who I can see has an obvious struggle. It is easy for me to ask God to grace me with His love and forgiveness in these cases. My problem arises when it is good, God fearing, Christian brothers and sisters whose lives definately reflect their beliefs who seem to be putting me off. There was a line in the devotional that said something about letting my love grow cold or becoming indifferent toward others who do not respond in kind perhaps because they are very busy and committed. I know it is a sin to simply cast aside a brother or sister in Christ, especially if God has laid them upon your heart to pray for and encourage them. God even gives me the joy of celebrating and rejoicing when my “friends” are blessed. But it is a bitter sweet joy. For me it is so very difficult to (in christian lingo) “Sow to the Spirit” knowing that my reward is stored up in heaven. The human part of me desires so much for my Christian friends to acknowledge my gift of love. So, in faith, I continue to give what really doesn’t belong to me in the first place and God never fails to replenish His love within life. To take a hint from an old song, I guess it would be fair to say: Love, it is more precious than silver. Love, is it more costly than gold. Love, it is more beautiful than diamonds…. and nothing I desire compares with love. But by the grace of God I go forward.
Today’s devotional is such a timely and in season teaching.
We have notice how the love of many has waxed cold toward
God and others. We see sucha great increase in all kinds of
violent and evil things done against people. This would
not be the case if people was showing the proper love for
God and others. I find it a little difficult to walk in
love toward those who not only has hurt me but some to have
no remorse for doing it. This is where the word of God and
the Holy Spirit plays a very important role with me. The
Holy Spirit will bring to my rememberance the word of God
that fit the situation. The Spirit if God will keep nudging
me with the word. I then make a choice, and that is to obey
what the word said and yield to the guidance of the Holy
Spirit.
God has given us a helper that is present to help, guide,
instruct, and lead us into all truth. I find out when I
am open to his Spirit then his Spirit is open to me, to help
me. The bottom line is we have been commanded by God to owe
no man, but to love him. When we fail to give love to any
body then we are in debt to them, we owe then love. We must
be willing to obey God in all things and not just some, that
we have chosen. Thank God that he knew from the beginning
that we would need help with this and he provided it. The
word said that the love of God has been shedded in our hearts by the Holy Ghost. We just have to not get in the
way of him pouring love out in us and through us. Sister my
prayers are with you, and I know God is a miracle working
God, regardless of how doom the situation maybe, there is
nothing to hard for him. Sisters my the peace of God that
passeth all understanding dwell in your mind and heart by
Christ Jesus!
Are we surely coming on end times? I believe we are.
There are so many signs that are getting (as my pastor has indicated) more intense and with greater frequency. Truly as our Lord has compared to labor pains.
Therefore it is with utmost importance that we share our love, for our neighbors and for our God and Savior! Bring those you love to God so they too can share in the Great Reward!
As we continue our own walk, are your loved ones walking in front, with or behind you? Mine mostly walk way behind me! It saddens me to think that way, but I feel the end times are coming…. Let’s bring as many as we can with us when we are uplifed into heaven!
d :)
The scriptures abound with God’s commands to love — but one that seems fitting for this devotion is from the book of Matthew 5:43-48.
“You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes His sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.”
That, I believe, is what distinguishes Christians from others — their supernatural ability to love their enemies, to forgive the unforgivable, and to praise God in the midst of their fiery trials. When we have the power of the Holy Spirit within us — the same power that resurrected our Lord — we are no longer ‘disabled’ but ‘enabled’ to do that which God has called us to do. Thank you, Lord, for Your gift of the Holy Spirit! May I call upon Him for the grace needed to love those who hurt me, and not grow weary in loving the unlovable. Amen.
Very well said Dianne!! Agree with you!!!
Marilyn, Loved what you said “we are no longer ‘disabled’ but ‘enabled’ to do that which God has called us to do.”
We have the power of the Holy Spirit to change our thinking, to help us love, to give us strength when it all seems to hard and we want to give up on that person. Thanks for the reminder in Matthew where we are commanded to love, even our enemies.
Diane, it was lovely to see you encourage Kerry L today. God has used you in a mighty way today…Praise the Lord!!
Praying for you all dear sisters….
Dear God, please help us not to grow cold. Help us to love even when it is difficult, when there is no response, or worse, when the response is hurtful. Fill us with your love, and teach us to love others as you have loved us. In your most precious name, i pray. Amen!
Dianne………..loved your explanation, I will copy it out and keep it for reference. My husband’s father was a terrible alcoholic and the family suffered so much and my husband keeps saying “he (his father) didn’t have to be that way, he chose it” He won’t forgive his father……..therefore harbours a lot of animosity, which would go if he could forgive, I am hoping this may give him more understanding of the “disease” that it is rather than a “choice” made.
Marilyn……..so wonderfully said!! Eve Love your prayer!!
JoyB
Donna, thank you for your kind words! How much I lean on His power to direct my path, to love when it hurts, to humbly submit when I want my way! He is faithful to supply that which I need for each task. :)
Eve, thank you for your precious prayer! You are a true blessing! :)
And JoyB — are you the original ‘Joy’? Are there 2 Joys as well? Oh dear, I’m more confused than my husband thinks!! :/
Yes Marilyn I am the “Original” just saw another Joy the other day she had a 3 year old, just didn’t want you to think I am that young! You are not confused……..just me confusing you
Can anyone tell me how to engage people that ignore, avoid or out right reject you? I opened up my heart to a group of women of my battles with my health [chronic pain] and emotional struggles and I was ousted from their group? These are “Christians”. Then I went to my church when my family suffered a crisis, but was shunned and no one has called or followed-up with me 2 months now? This is new to me. When someone is suffering or in the midst of a crisis is the Church expected to avoid them or reject them? I really am confused? I thought when you are weak, wounded or hurting this is where one goes for comfort and help? Am I wrong? Although I have been rejected, I decided to close this year by sending Christmas cards thanking them for showing me Jesus.
thanks
In response to “Burton” – I understand how you might be feeling. I can’t count the amount of tears I have shed crying out to my Heavenly Father over the percieved heart ache caused by so many God-fearing Christians. I often argue with God about all the “when, where, how, who, and even whys” Christians are allowed. When did we earn the right to pick and choose whom we will serve? If like me, you are a person who needs or desires a deeper commitment in friendship, it seems most church folk out there are just too busy with all their “churchy programs” to actually have time to minister to hurting individuals. This reality can and often does cause a very bitter root of anger and hostility. In my life, I nearly let it destroy not only me, but my growing, vibrant, and intimately satisfying relationship with God. I had to make a choice. Ultimately, since it appeared I had no where else to turn, I spent many hours, month after month, simply clinging to God and begging for him to “change me, show me” who He knows I am. I asked God to become the One thing that I seek. In restrospect the months of solitude with only God as my closest friend, allowed me to experience a wealth of joy and peace that, currently, I would be hard pressed to exchange for all the friends in the world. I know my words are not the same as a hug or the warmth you may be looking for by simply having someone hold your hand while you cry, but my heart is crying for you now. I know the rejection, I have felt the rage, and I remember all too clearly. My sister, Let God be your faithful and loving companion. Let Him soothe your hurts. Cry out to Him and ask him to be very real to you …… and in time, with patience, He will become your ever present source fulfilling every need you could possibly imagine.
Leslie, thank you for “REALLY” showing me Jesus! I’ve experienced more heartache and pain than I could ever imagine, but I’ve learned a lot about people and myself. One, I was out of God’s will when I left my old church and went to the new church. Two, joining a group when I was too weak and vulnearable. I opened up to my heart and it was used against me, I was ousted and it almost killed me. Third, God allowed all the rejection, abandonement and pain to teach me to die to the need for acceptance and approval from man. Just today I received a revelation. My Grandmother was my nearest and dearest friend. She raised me as her own and when she died [2002] in my home a part of my soul died. But it caused me to draw closer to God. Less than a year after she died I suffered a debilitating injury. While I was trying to cope with my grieveing for her I suffered more loss, my ability to walk. I then began to turn to the church for the love and support she always showed me, I was sorely disappointed. Not for me but for those who treated me less than worthy of their time. Well, 3 years later, I finally realized no one will love or care for me like my Grandmother did. So, now I am confident that Jesus is my best friend and my God is also my Father. My sadness comes from what people bring upon themselves when they deny love to people that God brings their way. I pray daily that my heart and motives are pure, I have forgiven ALL I feel has wounded me and I am healed in every area and I can fufill the purpose He created me for.
Again, I thank you for speaking love, hope and encouragement into me. I’m looking forward to a new year of new hope, new friendships and new joy in the lord! It’s already started!
Thanks
Burton….my heart goes out to you, I know how you feel, as God has just used a friend to teach me to die to the need of acceptance and approval of man, that man being my husband……..I went through a lot of pain and hurt before I realized God is the only one who will love me unconditionally!!! Now that I have taken the pressure of my deep desire for love from my husband, we both have so much more freedom to nurture the love that we had all along for each other. If we take our deep needs to God it frees up our human friends and family not to have to reach unreachable expectations for us and they can freely love us without expectations.
I do sympathise with you as I know well the pain and hurt of feeling rejection………I pray that your desire to forgive them, will free up and soften their hearts toward you.
JoyB
Dear Burton,
It is so important to remember that we, as Christians, are still fallen, still fighting our flesh, being chastened and pruned by our Lord. We were justified in a moment, but our sanctification is a process. Please forgive those who have betrayed your expectations, whom you considered ‘Christian,’ but fell short of Christ-likeness. Jesus, alone, is our true model! Anything else will disappoint. Do not let Satan convince you that the rejection of others determines your worth. Burton, Jesus died on a cross to take the punishment for yours and my sins — that, dear one, gives you true worth! As a Christian, you have been adopted by God, to be a member of His family, and your name written in His Book of Life! As for your comment about sending Christmas cards to the church members who offered only rejection, thanking them for ’showing you Jesus,’ I would encourage you to lift that up to our Father in prayer. I know you are so very hurt by their actions, Burton, but sarcasm would not be how Jesus would have you respond. Ask God to show you His will in this situation, to guide you towards a forgiving spirit, and to bring loving Christian friends/mentors into your life. Guard your heart against resentment and bitterness, for these will choke out your spiritual growth and God’s blessing. May the Lord wash away your tears of rejection, and fill your heart with His joy and peace!
Thank you Marilyn. I asked the questions only because it was such a shock to me perhaps I was wrong of my expectations but the Word of God commands more of us. And the purpose of sending Christmas cards was my way of speaking those things that are not. I want to speak a blessing into them, not curse them. They are aware how they didn’t show me the love of Jesus when I needed it the most. But instead of confronting them about it I wanted to remind them of the Word that it may move them to make sure they DO acutally show the love of Jesus to the next person God places in their path. I desire to be at peace and show peace to all that cross my path. When God revealed to me His people are suffering needlessly at the hands of the Church, I was put in a position to personally experience the very thing that grives His heart. Yes, it hurt deeply but it has taught me far more about this Christian walk than I could have ever imagined. I’ve learned to lower my expectations of others and highten the expectations of myself on this journey with Jesus. He was reviled, misunderstood, rejected, abandoned and abused unto death, and being a bond-servant of Christ, I too will experience this in one way or another. But as His word says trials and tribulations will come, but He has overcome the world [actions]. People in the church will hurt you just like the world would. With that being said yes, we are to forgive but it is our responsibility not to over look or excuse poor behaviour of abusing our fellow brethren. You wouldn’t just sit back and expect one of your children to abuse their siblings and not bring about correction? Neither does God.
I’ve forgiven all I deem to have hurt me, pray for them and love them no matter what and I don’t wound or hurt anyone as I have been treated. I purpose not the be bitter, resent of hold any grudes only learn from it and grow in the mature love of Jesus. I’m still healing and it is a process that will take time, like all wounds it takes time to heal and I want to heal properly. Satan has used women to try and destroy me all of my life starting with my own mother but I still love my fellow sisters, even more so now.
Again, thank you and be blessed mightily.
Burton
Oh Burton, I want you to know that I, too, have suffered from repeated rejection at my church by those whom I considered mature Christians, only because I saw their ‘positions’ in the church, not their hearts before their Lord. I understand your hurt. I really do. But, Satan is quick to magnify our pain, highlighting our hurts and provoking feelings of bitterness. When we give him an audience, we allow him to corrupt our thoughts, then our actions. Please forgive me that I misunderstood your intentions with the Christmas cards. If these persons, who have caused you such anguish, are aware of such, then surely the Holy Spirit has convicted them. Sending them cards thanking them for ’showing you Jesus,’ will not seem sincere, when they apparently ‘know’ that they have offended you. Again, I would encourage you to spend time in prayer over this, seeking God’s wisdom and direction, and His grace to overshadow any harbored bitterness. In reading your comments, Burton, I hear a very wounded, angry person. I, too, will lift you up in prayer before our Lord, asking for His tender mercies to console your heavy heart.
Eve?? Where are you, sweet sister?? Been thinking about you, praying for you and trusting that God is at work in your marriage!!
Once again rather than my heart being heard, I’m being judged on speaking against the offenses toward fellow brethren. I’m not angry at my fellow brethren, but the spirit of false piety. Yes, I’m wounded but I have begun to count it all joy. My Saviour suffered misjudgement, false accusation and mistreatment. His word says,”Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory”. I do pray God will get the glory in my sufferings whether it was self inflicted or brought on by others. It is His and my desire to learn from this so when others pass my way that are suffering I won’t do to them that was done to me. If I say I love God than that means I love what He loves and hate what He hates. I’m more hurt for the people that hurt me than myself. Jesus said, “But who so shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea.”
You are so focused on getting me straight about how I “should” feel, rather than listening to the sorrow I have for all that bring sin upon others. By that I mean doing something to them that may lead to a fall, e.g. bitterness, resentment, unforgiveness.
Marilyn, if more people would just listen with the heart of Jesus rather than spouting off self-righteous judgement there would be less heartache in the Body. When Jesus commanded us to love one anthor He knew there would be false piety among the bretheren that would cause much harm to others. That’s why it was mandated that sin against one another be dealt with not overlooked and blame the victim for not just sucking it up and go on? Yes we are to tolerate the sinner but be intolerant of the sin. If more sin was dealt with and not just ignored, there wouldn’t be so much needless suffering done at the hand of our fellow brethren. The bible vehemently speaks against fellow brethren mistreating each other. It also teachs on how to deal with sining against each other, in love not dictating. What type of witness do we have toward the world if we are seen mistreating each other with no sense of responsibility? Yes Jesus commanded us to love each other, but He also called us to deal with causing one another to fall, less you be tempted…I will continue to pray you that the Lord will reveal His heart to you and you receive the truth.
Be Blessed!
Hi Burton My heart to goes out to you as like the other women I too unfortunately know too well what it feels like to be rejected and left alone from the very church you have attended for 20yrs or so. My first major experience was when I lost my 15 1/2 yr old teenage daughter in a car accident, people were there when she first died but after the first week or so that was it, I was alone, all alone. I would just sit there and cry, leave the curtains closed and be alone. Then I too got chronic pain, and then bipolar depression you want to see people run. People don’t have time for you if you are not 100% well it seems. I got so depressed and anxious that I couldn’t attend church, the church I had been going to for over 20 yrs. Burton do you know how many people have phoned me to see how I am ? They are too busy and just don’t have time. But you know I truly believe that through all of this The Lord Has Taught or should I say Reminded me that He Is Always There, Always With Me, Always Loves Me Unconditionally and I know I was looking to people for my support and encouragement (which isn’t wrong) but I was putting them before The Lord. I can walk in the door of the church now and I have no hard feeling towards anyone, They are my brother and sisters in Christ, but they are human and humans will always let us down, but Jesus Never Will.
I have to say I agree with Marilyn in that you sending Christmas cards to these people who have hurt you even though you have forgiven them is still I feel being sarcastic towards them. First of all how often do we send Christmas Cards now a days to ladies in the church and then to purposely go send cards to those who have deliberately hurt you is like just shoving the hurt you received right back in an envelope and pushing it in there face. I don’t think it would be right for me to sit down and send Christmas Cards to the ladies in my church because I haven’t attended church for four years but now I am back and want to just remind them of who I am and maybe they just might remember they never phoned or came and visited me during that length of time. No Jesus wouldn’t want that, He would never do that.
We are to forgive and forget. I pray that you will accept my words in the love I am sending them. May The Lord Continue to Encourage You & Bring New Christian Friendships Into Your Life.
Linda and Marilyn, I deeply thank you! God heard my cry and came down and hugged me into healing! I would NEVER want anyone to experience the pain I endured. I sincerely wanted to send those cards to prick their hearts that it may not happen to anyone else. But when I woke up Sunday morning I heard, “yes they burned you but wanting to burn them back by useing the word will only lead to fire that will kill everybody”. While I was at church I heard, “let it go”. I shook my head and said yes. I thank you for caring enough to spare me futher heartache and pain. Thank you getting me to a place of love and restoration.
love,
Burton
Linda………what a wonderful sharing for Burton……..I can understand where you are both comming from, something like this happened not to me but to our daughter….when she finished her ECE training her church asked her to be the teacher of the brand new pre school at her church…….she was young inexperienced but doing well, but like most jobs there is always someone who feels that they should have been the one picked for the job. The woman in this case was vendictive, I know she had her problems, but she really made life miserable for our daughter including turning all the parents against her……….I wasn’t a Christian at that time , but was heart sick over all that was happening, there was one older woman helping our daughter and she called me told me what a wonderful job our daughter was doing inspite of all the adversity……..this helped but I was still heart sick and really didn’t know how to pray at that time except to call out to God to help her.
She did her best finished the year, and when they said they would welcome her back but not in a teachers position the next year. She greatfully declined and went on to teach at another church. However she did not leave her church!! This all happened about the time she met her husband, she was married there, her husband and his parents all changed to her church. She continued attending and helping with the children of the church….as much as she could in between having her own children, she never gave up on them…….always working with the children of the church……..this mother’s day at her church she was picked “Mother of the Year” for the work done with her church children, I know pride is not good………but it gave me a lot, just to know what she had been through all those years ago and not to have this award come her way. I am not sure I could have done what she did, after all they did to her, when all this was happening and I could do nothing for her but pray, I think she was gaining an incredible strength!!!
Dear Burton, may our heavenly Father get ALL the praise and glory for His loving intervention in your struggle with hurt feelings! He draws close to the broken-hearted, and He weeps with those who weep! I am so thankful that He comforted you, then set you free from the bondage of bitterness. Praise Him, for He alone is Worthy!!
All I can say is “Yeah, God!” Burton, I have been praying for you and for the ladies who have been responding to you. I am so happy that you were able to allow our precious Heavenly Father to wrap his arms of love around you and spare you more pain. I pray that you continue to grow in your trust …and always remember how very much He loves you!
Burton, I am just so, so Happy For You I Just Wish I could jump into the computer and give you a great BIG HUG! -:) Oh God Is So Good! I just Pray The You Continue In God Love & Have a Wonderful Wonderful Day! May The Lord Continue To Richly Bless You & Use You For His Glory. Hugs Linda
Hi, Burton and all of the rest of you writing about this subject. I haven’t commented, but I have been watching this processes as closely as time has allowed and I have flagged and saved these posts, intending to sit down and really ponder them very soon.
I have never seen anyone work through this kind of process (with the help of God and others before)in a Godly fashion before, and since I have had similar has issues in and around my church and spiritual life since about 11 years old (I’m getting close to 46, now), this can be a great opportunity for me to learn, and maybe even heal, too :-}.
Thank you, Burton, for being really honest (your first post scared me, but I didn’t know what to do with it), and thank you everyone else who extend/-ed their help to her.
Although this is a written forum, I feel as though the saying, “I’d rather see a sermon than hear one” fits well; you all have shown me a sermon—the first one I’ve seen in my life on this subject.
God bless everyone! :-}!
JoyB, your story about your daughter is a beautiful example of humble submission in service to her Lord!! Your daughter sounds like an amazing woman of faith — you are very blessed! When she got that proverbial ’slap in the face’ by her co-workers, she chose to ‘turn the other cheek.’ She chose the high road, and was surely blessed by God for her sacrifice of self! Praise God!
Burton, I just wanted to thank you for your kind words, and I’m rejoicing with you in God’s revelation to you!! He is so good and His love endures forever! And, I pray that He will bring sensitive, caring Christian women into your life, who will encourage you, pray for you, and share your faith journey! To have such will be a great blessing for you! :)
Burton, I am so happy for your revelation, like Dianne says this has been such a wonderful lesson!!
Marilyn, Thank you so much for your words of kindness about my daughter…….I do feel that way….but then maybe I’m kind of prejudiced!! It was wonderful to see what she has done with her life without a Christian upbringing!! She and her family are truly a “joy” to us!!
Marilyn.. I am here. Still here, sometimes silently reading, most times frantically trying to catch up. It is a really busy time at work now. Thank you for remembering me.
Things are kind of peaceful now. I have started a little exercise of reading Psalm 91 once a day, for a month, like the devotion i shared recently suggested. Another little thing i do is to turn to God first when i am hurting about something, then i try to find something to be thankful for. It’s true that it doesn’t make the pain go away, but, it proves to me that things are not all that bad, and that God is with me. One step at a time..
Thank you ladies for everything. You are a blessing to me and i always have all of you to be thankful for. My virtual angels!!! (((((HUGS)))))
Eve, so glad to hear that you are well, and that God has been faithfully ministering to you in your absence! :) Have thought about you so many times, wondering how God was working things out for you. God bless! :)
A friend suggested that I read this devotional about love growing cold. I read it and all the comments and stories shared. They have encouraged me.
My heart has grown cold because of pain that I feel in certain relationships. Wondering if it is worth it to keep on giving and loving. Though I know the answer in my head, it has to drop into my heart. To keep on trusting that Jesus Christ is my helper in all things – and that his timing is perfect, though at times it seems certain prayers will never be answered – thats when I take my eyes off Jesus and look at the circumstances.
I pray the Lord will hear the cries of my heart and equip me to overcome the struggles of life in the power of his name. To not give up but to seek God’s love.
May God help us all as we grow in our relationship with him, so that we may live life well.
God bless you.
Amen to that Wendy.
My struggle is when my heart and my head are pulling me in two different directions. The heart wants to do what’s right, what God would like me to do, but my head looks at the practicality of the situation, and what the most logical plan of action should be. I pray for the strength stand firm in faith, and not grow cold.
((((Marilyn))))
Thanks for words of wisdom Eve, food for thought.
Hi Carol, I know this is a delayed reply to your entry on the 28th nov, but I have a scripture for you to encourage you…
Jeremiah 31:15-17
“A sound is heard in Ramah, the sound of bitter weeping. Rachel is weeping for her children; they are gone, & she refuses to be comforted.
Stop your crying,& wipe away your tears, all that you have done for your children will not go unrewarded; they will return from the enemy’s land.
There is hope for your future; your children; I, the Lord, have spoken.”
Carol, may God see the pain of your heart and meet you at your deepest point of need.
He cares.