The Negative Power of Rejection
by Charles Stanley
Also available as a podcast at: http://thelife.com/blogs/experience/kindle/2008/04/20/the-negative-power-of-rejection-3/
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Please open you Bible and read Ephesians 4:29-32.
As a pastor, I have had many wounded children in my office. They might be adults, but the little boy or girl inside of them still grieves over a parent’s lack of acceptance.
Parents have considerable power to negatively shape a child’s life by making him or her feel rejected. Without the steady foundation of unconditional parental love, such kids become adults whose entire life experience is shaped by their earliest feelings. These walking wounded cannot trust in others? care for them – they are waiting for the rejection that they believe is inevitable. Friendly advice is often heard as criticism, and even a forgotten birthday may be seen as a sign of dislike.
Right now many parents are saying, "I love my kids; I accept them!" Rejection, however, can be subtle. For example, parents may think they’re providing guidance by suggesting more conventional music choices, different clothing styles, or an altered appearance. But this type of criticism is often received as an attack on the child’s personhood – an indication that he or she isn’t measuring up. The same sort of thing can happen at a Little League game. If Dad says, "You would have hit that pitch if you had watched the ball as I taught you," his son’s delicate ego hears, "If you performed better, I’d be happy with you now instead of irritated."
Unwise criticism can be interpreted as rejection, leaving a child feeling unloved or unworthy of love. On the other hand, discipline and instruction, which are necessary for children’s maturity, confront their actions and attitudes while communicating a parent’s acceptance.
Question: Have you been unfairly criticized in the past? How have you handled it?
About this Author: http://thelife.com/experience/devotionalformen/authors/charles-stanley/
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Dear Dre,
Every one of us are different, but yet we are very unique and beautiful! God is Life and God is Love! Therefore, God loves every evil and good person. When Adam and Eve rejected goodness of God and God’s Holy Will and accepted evil and the influence of Satan instead, yet God sent God’s Holy Word to take flesh and gave us Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit to not only redeem us but to be our sanctity and divine grace within us.To guide and help us!Therefore, fear not you are good, loving and beautiful! When God loves you why worry about earthly men? When God is with you who can harm you!Let men do and say what the wish? We also need to allow the to be what thgey really want to be that is their freedom and their right. God has given them that, who are we to ask them not to be who they really want to be? We know what they are doing is evil and wrong! We can only ask the not to do it? The rest we have to leave to God and at God’s own doing. Amen!
Francis Andrew
Singapore
I certainly fall into the category of a rejected child. My father never wanted me. He threatened to kill my mother. He physically harmed her. After I was born, my life was threatened numerous times and still is to this day. The devil has attempted to kill me so many times now that I have lost track of the number.
The rejection did not end with my father. It was only the beginning of a pattern of rejection from men for the next 40 years of my life. The pain of rejection never ends. God has done nothing to make up for it. The pain of rejection continues to grow as God seems to prove to me continuously of how I am unworthy of relationships with men.
Then just how do you point out to your 16 year old daughter that the amount of makeup you where directly reflects on how others may perceive you?