95% GOOD, 100% LOST
by Mary Gilliam as told to Muriel Larson
**Are you sure that you are forgiven and know with certainty that you are His child? We would love to pray with you. http://thelife.com/interactive/share.html
As I listened to our pastor preach, one strong impression burned in my mind: “I’m lost! I’m not really a Christian. I don’t really know Jesus Christ as my Savior!”
How could this be? Was God speaking to me?
“But you know I am a good person, Lord,” I argued. “You will have to let me into heaven. I have lived such a good life. I have served you for years and helped others know you.”
“You are lost. You must get right with God,” the impression nagged.
Then the words of Jesus hit me: “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. Many will say to me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?’ Then I will tell them plainly, ‘I never knew you. Away from Me, you evildoers!” (Matthew 7:21-23).
But my pride argued, “You can’t tell anyone about this. Everyone thinks you’re a good Christian.”
My mind wandered back to my childhood. When I was twelve, I had gone forward during an evangelistic meeting held in my church. “Do you believe in Jesus?” the pastor asked me when I came to him.
“Yes, I believe in Jesus,” I answered. So I was accepted as a member of the church and shortly thereafter was baptized. I had been involved in all the church activities. Eventually I married a fine Christian man, Eddie.
When each of our two sons was born, we dedicated them to the Lord. We raised them in the knowledge of the Lord. It was during this time that I began to be troubled as to whether or not I was really a born-again Christian.
Nine of us from this church, concerned about the lack of soul-winning emphasis there, began meeting for prayer once a week. We established a regular visitation program every week, going from door to door, leading non-Christians to Christ.
Yet still the Holy Spirit was speaking to my heart. “Well, good,” He seemed to say, “you know the way of salvation enough to show others, but how about yourself?” And I felt absolutely miserable.
One night we received a phone call from our oldest son, Joe, who was preparing for the ministry at a Christian university. “Mom, guess what!” he exclaimed. “I just got saved!”
“Saved, Joe? What do you mean?”
“I just received Christ as my Savior!”
“But I thought you knew Him! You’re studying for the ministry, and you’ve always been such a good boy!”
“Mom, I’ve been utterly miserable for a long time,” he said. “Tonight Nancy and I heard a missionary at our church. She told how she came to Christ after serving as a missionary for seven years! It really hit home with me. I went to see my pastor. He prayed with me–and now I really know the Lord. Oh, Mom, you can’t imagine what a burden has been lifted!”
The very next time that our pastor preached, he quoted Christ’s words in Revelation 3:20: “Behold, I stand at the door and knock; if any man hear my voice and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me.”
Then suddenly the full realization that I was a sinner dawned on me. “I am lost!” I thought. “And Jesus Christ died on the cross for my sins!”
As soon as the pastor finished his message, I got up and walked down the aisle. Looking at the tears on my face, the assistant pastor asked, “What’s wrong, Mary?”
I cried softly, “I want to be saved!”
“You? Saved?” He looked at me incredulously. Then he beckoned his wife to come and counsel with me. But I knew the way of salvation. Falling on my face before the Lord, I repented of my sins for the first time in my life. “Save me, Lord,” I cried. “I believe you died for my sins!”
What a mountain was lifted from my soul that day! At the age of 47 I finally knew I was a child of God!
Shortly after my conversion, the Lord called Eddie and me to His full-time service. This has taken us to churches all over the nation to share our testimonies. And many good church members have come to truly know Christ as their Savior!
But it concerns me when I think of how many other good church members may even now be just as I was–95 percent good, but 100 percent lost! If this is your case, please don’t let your pride stand in the way. Admit that you can’t save yourself, and believe that the Lord Jesus Christ paid for your sins. All you have to lose is that heavy burden on your heart!
~Thank you Lord, that You draw me to You for cleansing and restoration.
Question: Would you like to be sure you too are forgiven and know with certainty you are His child?
This web site can help you do it: http://www.journeyofjoy.com
About the Author: http://talk.thelife.com/experience/devotionalforwomen/authors/muriel-larson/
18 Responses to “95% GOOD, 100% LOST”
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sasta thankyou so much for your needed prayers… and everyone i love this site and the prayers i love to read they inspire me… devotions i love thankyou ladies for your time and love in helping others in times of need and loneliness..i ask our heavenly father that he would annoint the ladies of this site and that many would come to no his love…and many of his children may be encouraged and helped by thease lovely people in him.. again everyone and i speak for everyone am sure thankyou!!!!!!
cathrine i am much in prayer for your loved one that he will come back to The Lord bless you both
Reading this, I think of that old song, “born again’ Satan tells me that I only thought I got saved, he tells me what A fool I have been, but when my mind goes back to that old bench where I prayed, I know that I’ve been born again.,
hello ladies… lovely devo and all your lovely prayers.. i come again in hope that you can remember me in prayer.. and my loved one paul please remember him in prayer a prodical who as wondered far from the father. father i ask tha5t you would open the eyes of pauls understanding lord bring him to repentace lord remove obstacles in my life father that keeps me hindered.. lord i love you and thatnkyou that we can come here to pray and to chat lord this site is a blessing keep your had upon everyone involed..i ask this in jesus name lord remeber the dear ones who pray for me amen
we must accept Christ into our lives and His free gift of His dieing for our sins and then we must do our best to to live His way afor He is theonly way to Heaven
Mae that was a good point you made and one that I was wondering about as well.
In my Christian tradition, we don’t say those exact words that Born again Christians say. Verse Jonh3:16. I have personally said that verse, but we have the tradition that your faith life is a journey. Sometimes it is very sad, because the same children I have been teaching religious education and faith formation to will have a well meaning person at their school tell them they are not saved, because that exact verse wasn’t recited or a similar prayer said. As this devotion implies, just saying certain verses does not necessarily make you a Christian. Your love towards others, your dependance on God and Jesus, and your actions demonstrate that you are Christian.
We are baptized into the faith as children because our parents claim the faith for us. As we mature in our faith, we come to own it as our own. We are then confirmed into the faith. Of course, as Marilyn pointed out, many young people still don’t quite get it.
That means claiming the Lord Jesus as your savior and Lord. But our journey doesn’t stop there, we must continue to pray, study, learn, and grow.
Our faith will manifest itself in works. I have several family members who have become “born again” and sometimes it seems sad that they are rebaptized. When new members join our church and they were baptized in their faith, we don’t make them get rebaptized. I realize that the second baptism in other denominations is symbolic that they are putting on Jesus.
Hi Mae! I cannot speak as one who was saved as a child, but as one saved as an adult. When God saves us, He does so with a plan for us. He imparts His Holy Spirit in us at the point at which we are saved, His seal of His covenant relationship with His children. We are then fully equipped as Christians from that day forward to fulfill God’s plan for our lives and His kingdom. We have the power to live victoriously or in defeat. Our choices and will determine the progess and direction of our spiritual growth. We cannot lose our salvation, but we can lose reward in heaven. As we have been created to glorify Christ, and the sole intent of the Holy Spirit is to glorify Christ, when we are on this same page, His Spirit thrives in us and we experience His power in our lives! But, if we, as Christians, live our lives for ourselves, and Christ is peripheral, then the Holy Spirit will be silent at best, and may even cause havoc to shake the ‘sleeping’ Christian up! As it sometimes can be difficult to discern between unbelievers and spiritually-stunted believers, it is wise for those who claim to be Christians, but in whom there has been little spiritual growth or live in perpetual defeat, to examine themselves and seek God’s revelation. When we are saved, we cannot become unsaved. However, we CAN be deceived into believing we are saved when in truth we are not. Thus the verse you quote, “Depart from me, I never knew you.” We must be careful to not mistake our ‘good works’ for spiritual regeneration. If we haven’t experienced a ‘renewed mind,’ and we’ve been Christians since childhood, then our presumed salvation may be just that. If one has the assurance of their salvation, that is a sign of the Holy Spirit’s indwelling presence! I hope this is helpful to you, Mae! God bless!
Mae~
Thank you for pointing out exactly what I have been wondering. I was saved as a child but am sorry to say that I have not been living a “commited” life to Jesus the past few years. I have felt a desire to recommit myself to HIM and have been working toward that but I have always felt that I’ve been a Chistian and one of his own. Have I been wrong?
Is Mary Gilliam saying that if she had died as a teenager, God would have not honored her commitment to Him at age 12? So is “believing” not enough? Are there hidden clauses in John 3:16? Is she saying that she never confessed her sins before that day at age 47? How is she now sure that she is saved as opposed to her many years as a Christian? Is there some certain experience one has to have in addition to throwing ones self on the mercy of the Savior? As a believer since childhood, with periodical renewals of commitment, I have understood that my “righteousness is but filthy rags” and any service which I might render toward the kingodm of God is just joy in action. When I come to have doubts about whether I will go to heaven, I remind myself that that decision belongs to the sovereign Lord God, not to me. However,God does not sound loving when he says “Depart from me, I never knew you”. One might conclude that it is works, not grace, that brings us salvation. If so, one will never be able to be good enough. It is disheartening to see writers imply that someone hasn’t “done their salvation the right way” and isn’t really saved but believes that they are.
Quandaryingly Yours,
Mae
Thank you Mary for such a heart searching and enlighten,d
votion. Tears came to my eyes as I read this testimony of
yours, because I can truly relate to it. I didn’t grow up
in a christian home, but my parents believe in sending us to
church. I guess I either heared this or was told this or
form this impression,”you better be good if you want to go
to heaven”, because that what I tried to do. Others even
came to expect that from me, being good, and I even expect
it of myself. Well other saw me as a christian and thought
of me as a christian because of my good moral character.
I even thought the same way about myself, I went to church,
I treated everybody right, I tried to help others, I was
humble to my parents and elders, and the list goes on. One
day, at the set time of God’s great favor I truly heared and
received the truth. The couple that was doing bible study in
the kitchen at a thanksgiving family gathering, was only
concentrating on one person at the table and he was a known
lost person. I made a choice of join them at the table for
the bible study, see I was alway trying to do the good
thing. Every word of the gospel they taught on I was open
to hear, even if they focus was on the other person, They
ignored me, see I was that person that other thought was
a christian because of my good moral character. My soul seem
to soak up every word of truth that was spoken, actually the
gospel had never been told to me before, that is what I
realized. Well to make a long story short, the guy they was
focusing on so, didn’t want to accept Christ, comfortable
with his current lifestyle. Well they called over a local
evangelist to add some fuel to their effort. When the
evangelist start to minister I began to cry, finally all
eyes turn to me. The evangelist knew that I was ready to
confess Christ, she ask me to get my husband and asked him
would he like to join me in confessing Christ and he said
yes. Nobody knew that months earlier I felt that I was going
to be saved, and I asked God when you save me, save my hus-
band alone with me. God didn’t have to honor my request but
he did, that how gracious He is. Loreli I pray that God
divine healing will be manifest in your body now. In the
mighty name of Jesus I come against anything sickness or
disease that may try to oppose the will of God concerning
your health. I decree in Jesus name that every organ, and
every member of your body will fuction and operate according
to perfection which God has purpose it to. If it necessary
get yourself checked out by your doctor, God has many ways
he can promote healing. I was concern when I checked back
this morning and read yesterday request for prayer. Also I
wnat to lift up you Filipinamom in prayer. I pray God that
you who is the God of all comfort, will give comfort unto
filipinamom, like only you can do. Lord be her strenght and
power each day and make her way complete in you. Father let
your peace that passeth all understanding keep her heart and
mind through you. Now help her to focus her attention on you
because she is trusting in you, and you are able to keep her
in your perfect peace. Thank you Lord for being there for her and the kids, be whatever they need you to be for them in the absence of her husband and their father, Amen. Ladies
as we continue to grow in the knowledge of his will for our
lives,let us remain steadfast, unmovable always abounding in
the love of God. Know this dear sisters our labor that’s in
the Lord is not in vain. Have a refreshing day in the Lord.
Hi Andi! I, too, forwarded today’s devotional, along with my personal testimony, to those in my email contact list, trusting God to quicken the hearts of those among my family and friends whom He is calling! And, thank you, Muriel, for providing a channel through which God can minister to His children! Seeds of love!
Great devotional and at the right time for our church family. The pastor, his wife and about 3 others have been faithfully meeting for 2 years now to pray for spiritual breakthru in our church family and in our town. As time has passed we have seen many leave our church because the Pastor is preaching the salvation message SO frequently. We have also sensed there are others who are in this situation as described and we are trusting God that a recent Baptism in which an older member was baptized and claimed Jesus as her Lord [after years and years of church attendance] will cause others who are holding back to revisit and rethink their place in Christ.
I will forward today’s devotional to the Pastor and his wife.
I was baptized in my early 20′s but it was out of desperation and fear [of hell's fire too]. It wasn’t until I was in my early 30′s that the verse from Rev. came to life to me; ‘because you are neither hot nor cold I will spit you out of my mouth!’ I rededicated my life to HIM and praise HIM for the well deserved warning.
Thanks for sharing your stories ladies.
Hello Rome, Marilyn, Loreli and Eve!
Loreli, I didn’t know that you hail from Tennessee — I just got back yesterday from the Knoxville area, where my family was celebrating my father’s 86th birthday with all his ‘kinfolk!’ I just love that area, and my Tennessee relatives are so very precious to me! Had lots of ‘sweet tea’, soup beans and cornbread! It is such a joy to worship with several generations of family all together! :)
I can so totally identify with Mary’s experience! I, too, was a church-goer for 37 years, brought up in a loving, nurturing, ‘church-going’ family. We were ‘good’ people, moral (for the most part!), and humanistic. I considered myself a Christian by my church affiliation, my tradition of church membership, my good character, my delaration of Jesus being the Son of God and dying on the cross for ‘our’ sins. I had the head knowledge of God’s plan of salvation, but not the heart response. My brother, who was a believer, would witness to me, and I was insulted by his presumption that I might not be a ‘real Christian.’ Having never experienced the spiritual ‘new birth’ he would talk about, I thought he was just another fanatic, who meant well, but was annoying and ‘judgemental’. But, I praise God that my ‘annoying and judgemental’ brother pressed on in love, and God used him to lead me to His Son! Faced with our mother’s life-threatening medical condition, my brother had a peace about him that I did not have. While we both faced the same crisis, he was comforted and soothed by his faith, and I felt out-of-control of a situation that I wanted to control! As he prayed with me, I recognized that he prayed to his ‘Abba,’ Someone with whom he had a real relationship. He prayed with assurance that his Father cared, and that He would answer! I had never really experienced such assurance. I would pray to God, hoping that He would answer me with an answer that suited me. I didn’t necessarily think of ‘God’s will’ or His divine plan. These were the spiritual ‘labor pains’ of my new birth, and the Lord showed such mercy on me, having been smug in my ’95% goodness!’ He helped me to see how my good works, my good character, my faithful religiosity was MY effort to be worthy of heaven, that my focus was more on what I did than on what Jesus did! He emptied me of me, and cleaned out my self-assured heart! Then, He filled my heart with such a burning desire to know the One Who died for me, Who bought me with His blood! And so, I can attest to Mary’s testimony of how we can be fooled by our self-evaluation into thinking that we are Christians, but our hearts and lives are unchanged by our declarations of faith. This is a huge burden on my heart, as I now realize how many ‘good people’ are not heaven-bound because of Satan’s counterfeit spiritual security. Proverbs 14:12 and 16:25 both warn that, “There is a way that seems right to man, but in the end it leads to death.”
Heavenly Father, we thank You for Your Word, which changes lives and brings us peace and joy on our earthly journey! Thank You for showing us the difference between religion and relationship, for Your mercy in saving us from our self-proclaimed worthiness! Our goodness cannot measure up to Your perfect standard, but Jesus does, and we praise You for allocating His righteousness unto us by His work on the cross! Shine Your spotlight, Lord, into our hearts, that we may ‘know that we know,’ that our assurance of salvation would render us joyous and at peace! And, for those of us, Lord, whose hearts still need transforming, show us mercy and forgive our self-assuredness, and write our names in Your Book of Life, that we may enjoy eternity with You! In the most precious Name of Jesus, Amen!
Hi Romel, you were saying about something in Greek, where are you from?
Good Morning from Tennessee Ladies-
Thankyou Mary for praying for me last night, I do feel better. I have asked Jesus to save me three times. Once when I was very young I got saved because a friend told me Hell was Hot and I would burn up but I did not understand really why I was doing it. Again at twelve I got saved because I was unsure. At sixteen I truly understood why there was a need to have Jesus save me. I know that I would rather have a peace in my heart than worry what someone else thinks about getting saved again. If you are feeling unsure do something about it today, you may not have a tomorrow, none of us are promised tomorrow.
Wow! Thank you for being so wonderfully honest. I do hope that others will consider there own situation before Lord Jesus.
I know that I am saved for I take time to read God’s word, to pray over issues and in doing this I find that God leads me in my life.
If I do not take time out to spend it with the LORD I feel that I have missed Him. I choose to spend time with Him becasue I love him and when I do, I find within me reinforced knowledge that I am his child and that He loves me.
But seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. Matt 6:33
Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. James 4:8
Ask and the door shall be opened…but remember the handle in on YOUR side.
What are you waiting for?
Eve UK, xxx
Thanks for the devotional Mary Gilliam: Many doctrines make salvation muddy and confusing but standing on just few verses would tell us what to do to really know that we are saved. here are they and I would let others put the rest.
Revelation 3:20 KJV
Behold, I stand at the door and knock: If any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come into him and will sup with him and he with ME.
Ephesians 1:13-14 KJV
13-In HIM ye also trusted, after that ye heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation, in whom also after that you believed, ye are sealed with that HOLY SPIRIT of promise.
14- Which is the earnes of our inheritance until the redemption of the purchased possession, unto the praise of HIS glory.
Believe in Greek means
- believe with mind
-trust with heart
-commit with life
Romel H