React or Respond?
by Gail Rodgers
**When things heat up, it is easy to respond in anger. How do you respond? http://thelife.com/study/angrywithoutsinning.htmll?section=angrywithoutsin
Susan yelled at the kids. She didn’t like doing it but it seemed to be happening a lot lately. She sat down for a cup of coffee after supper. A Bible verse on the back of a magazine that was with today’s mail caught her eye.
“A soft answer turns away anger but harsh words stir it up” (Proverbs 15:1).
She thought about her own responses lately. She knew she often used the stirring spoon of harsh words and raised voice and needed help to put a soft response in its place. She knew she needed to be firm at times but with a gentleness that God could give her.
We need to keep our focus on modeling Christian character, yet we are all dealing with daily life and its challenges too. Here is a simple exercise that can help us move from “reacting” in our own lives and circumstances to “responding” in the character of Jesus.
Protecting the earth: Can you be an atheist and an environmentalist?
This generation: Finding hope in the face of AIDS
Grab a child’s hoola-hoop, stand in the middle of it and hold it around your waist. There…that circle that surrounds you represents your area of control. It is your own thoughts, your feelings, your ideas, your passions, your decisions, your words, all that you are responsible for.
Now envision a second larger circle outside the hoola hoop. This is the circle that represents other people’s thoughts, emotions, decisions, passions, ideas and words. You have no control here, only influence.
Think about what’s been happening this week inside your hoola-hoop. Have you been reacting to life’s pressures with the stirring spoon of harsh words, raised voice or angry tones? Are thoughts or emotions spiraling you down?
Invite Jesus into the areas of life where reactions are abrasive. He will give His strength where yours is weak. Then you will be less inclined to reach into the next hoola-hoop and try to control the decisions, ideas, words and feelings of others. You will be more aware of the gentle influence you can have when you “respond” with Jesus’ help rather than “react” in your own sandpaper humanness (Galatians 5:22).
Tend carefully what is happening in your hoola-hoop and be less concerned about what is going on in others’. It will enable you to walk in a freshness of spirit that will impact and influence all your relationships.
~Lord God, Help me to turn my reactions into chosen responses by the power of Your Holy Spirit. In Jesus’ name, amen.
Questions: Are you aware of your reactions? Do you need to invite God into your hoola hoop of life and fill your responses with His grace?
About the Author: http://talk.thelife.com/experience/devotionalforwomen/authors/gail-rodgers/
What a GREAT response. Imagination is a wonderful gift from God isn’t it? And amen to your determination of not allowing anyone, or anything to steal your joy. I had already forgotten the hula-hoop analogy so thank you for reminding us of this mental picture!
I read this devotion before I went to work, and it guided me in an unbelieveable way. It was an indescribably bad day, but I kept imagining my hula hoop…therefore, my day was still spent with a smile on my face and gentle words for everyone. God’s timing on having this particular devotion on this particular day was amazing. Nobody is going to steal my joy!
thank you gail for the devotional. i can honestly say that since I accepted Christ as my Savior, 1 1/2 yrs. ago, all the anger and everything negative that comes with it, has only returned twice. both times with the same sibling. it was both what was said and done. and in each time afterwards I immediately asked the Lord for forgiveness. I knew then, I know still that God has and is encouraging me to take back the control over my anger. I believe that anger is not sinful, what’s sinful is where it can take you; crossing the line and I felt each time the bitterness, frustration in not getting through to this sibling, and in the verbal slashing I was losing control of the peace , the serenity and the joy i have been blessed with. i knew it was wrong, i so disliked the ‘taste’ it left in my mouth. Ephesians 4:26 says, ”In your anger do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry”. and in verse 32: ”Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ, God forgave you.”
I can relate to all of the comments. Thanks Gail. I have been trying to share & get thru to a dear friend this concept of ‘control’ versus influence and can’t wait until she visits and can read this one. It is such a clear analogy that I think she’ll finally understand.
I’ve been reading a book on the subject of godly influence we can have for HIS honour & glory so this touched me to the quick.
Be blessed ladies!
I live with my gorwn daughter and her 15 year old teenage daugther. I have learned to keep my mouth shut and not butt in. It has been difficult, but the Lord is teaching me patience and I am beginning to see a change for the better. I know my influence is nothing but God’s and His Son are working to change our family.
Met for coffee with my Bible study girls last night and told them about the hoola hoops. Not only did we laugh about the many times we not only bump other people’s hoola hoops, but we try to climb inside the same one (can you say codependence?), but we were able to encourage one another, as well. Thanks so much for your encouragement yesterday and for the mental image of a hoola hoop that even a worn out mom can remember. :o)
Thank you Gail, another good reminder! We should control our tongue all the time, to build up others, not to harm them. Especially to our husband and our children. “A soft answer turns away anger but harsh words stir it up” (Proverbs 15:1). I will put it on my computer and meditate it from time to time.
Wow! I was reading this devotion and thinking Gail has been in my house somewhere this week! I too have a hard time keeping a soft voice with my children at times…My 14yr old and I have been have one round after the other these past few months, I try to remember what I felt like at that age and the things I went through but as a parent my mind races with all the things I want to protect him from.
God has been dealing with me on this very subject latley, that I can have all the rules and regulations in place but our children watch what we say and how we react…this devotion was just another confermation to me that I must go the way God wants me to go, speaking soft words and words of life! Thanks for a great devotion!
Lord help me to keep a soft voice and not to use words orf wrath
sharon
Wow – did this ever hit home for me. My 18yo DS is really challenging me these days and I have let loose on more than one occasion with words of wrath rather than a soft response. I will definitely be printing this one out so I can read, read, read and get it deep into my brain!
Thank you!
Once again, Gail, you hit the nail right on the head…I needed the reminder to allow God to shape my reactions…to be an influencer rather than trying to control…
Thanks for taking the time to do what you do.
Good analogy Daily devotion, I’m going home and put my hula-hoop on. This is what I needed. Tensions run high in my house, our mouths get us in trouble all the time. I have read “Me and My big Mouth by Joyce Meyer many times. I pray that I can bridle my tongue and mind at all times.
I confess that often times I react rather than respond. The pressures of life sometimes are truely overwhelming. I know that His strength is always there but often I don’t stop to draw on it. May He help me today.