Put Up a Firewall
Are you feeling ready to walk away from a relationship – are you possibly even considering divorce? Are you struggling with self-pity? We have mentors who are available to talk with you.
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“May God himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through. May your whole spirit, soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. The one who calls you is faithful and he will do it” (1Thessalonians 5:23,24).
Like you, I check my incoming email very carefully. Anything suspicious I don’t open up. Why, I don’t want to get a virus that will mess up my whole program.
My mind is like a computer. A file that keeps cropping up in my memory is the “It’s not fair!” file. I compare my life with someone who seems to have more of what I want and come away feeling cheated. At a Christmas banquet, among all the happy couples, as a single I have to sit alone. She’s getting all the breaks. How come some of them don’t come my way?
Feeling overwhelmed by the stress of the season?: Let us pray for you
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Opening up the “It’s not fair” file–as I’m so prone to do– is dangerous. A vicious self-pity virus is attached to it. It sends my mood spiraling downwards. It messes up my whole outlook on life. It distorts reality, preventing me from seeing my own blessings.
So what do you do when an unpleasant memory flashes on your screen? Don’t open the file. Instead, send it away into cyberspace–to God. “Here, God, I give this to You as a sacrifice.” A sacrifice? Yes, you have every right to be self-indulgent, but you’ve decided it’s not worth it. You want to get on with the program. You want the most out of life.
Dear God, cleanse me from every trace of self-pity. I want to be sound in spirit, soul, mind, and body. I want to get the most out of this day.
Questions: What situations cause you to feel sorry for yourself and indulge in self-pity? What can we do in order to not dwell on it and spiral down the slippery slope?
About this Author Helen Grace Lescheid
Daily audio podcast: A second daily devotional, The Message of Christmas, today on the Men’s Devotional Blog
Helen, thank you for the devotional. as I read the devotional the only way i can respond is in ‘past-tense’ in relation to the question you pose.
situations and feeling sorry begat from childhood therefore the ‘feeling sorry for me’ and the self-pity. sadly to say that i carried this unfair start in life through out my life until the age of 48. and at 48 my life was re-newed and as the Holy Spirit touched me I was driven to see that i didn’t have to carry the baggage of the past around with me any more. i have been through a lot, to what i perceived as hell and back. it was in coming back, re-newing my relationship with the Lord that, to this day (I’ll be 50 in a few months), I know that I have a right to be self-indulgent as i follow Jesus’ teachings. i am stronger, perhaps a little wiser through experience, but I am no longer alone. that, my sisters, was my problem. i always felt alone, and never ever cried out ”why me God”? i knew of Him but never wanted to know Him until the baggage of the past nearly crushed me. i failed in marriage the first time(no children). it was an abusive relationship that i finally could no longer tolerate. my husband today with whom I share 20 years of not-so-always wedded bliss stayed by my side although he saw the ramifications of this coat of pity that i never gave up. amazingly, he had faith in me when I didn’t have faith period. i have never looked back. there is no turning back, no more pity parties and God willing, my husband and I (who just celebrated 20 years of marriage Apr./08) will join hands with the Lord in the next 20, 30 or so years. He is an awesome God who sees each one of us as every parent sees their children, He loves us for who we are, not for who we were.
I read some of the entries you sisters have shared here, and I was blessed. I am blessed that you have gone thru so much, yet can still praise & thank the Lord. I am challenged by that. I too, have had my share of trials, but I am always humbled & challenged when I see other sisters who’ve struggled but still continue to choose to praise God. It’s hard & doesn’t seem natural, but thanks for being an inspiration to me. God bless.
Thank you so much for this devotional. It was such a blessing & remidner of the truth. It is true, I often can fall prone to this. I am also a single young woman, and sometimes struggle with feeling alone, but thanks for reminding us that we need to be humble & remember to thank God for what He has given us. God bless.
edna i have been through the same thing 16 years ago. and i can tell you the God does not shut one door without opening another i will be praying for you and know God has great things in store for you
Merry Christmas
I have been struglling with self pity. This is due to the fact that I am still nursing my heart after my husbands infidelity with my housekeeper in August this year. I contemplated divorce but through prayers and a bit counselling I have decided to forgive my husband, the only problem I have is closure. I cant seem to brush the thoughts of him and her making love. How do I go on about it?
I have been having a Difficult Time with the Chriwtmas Season, as My Husband went Home with the Lord on Valentine’s Day. I Have been crying a lot, & feeling Sorry for Myself.Everyone Seems to be in Couples & I don’t seem to fit, although My Friends are Wonderful to Me. I talked to The Lord about it & he told me that he was Shaping My Vessel for Use and that this Grief Period is Necessary so that I will be able to help Others Someday in a Similiar Situation. I Still Feel Don’s Presence with Me, but The Lord has been extremly Close to me, and is helping me to get away from My “Pity Party!” May THe Lord Bless You All with His Joy this Christmas
thank you
I’ve been struggling with self-pitty a lot lately, and I get aggrivated with it. I know it’s Satan trying to dampen our ministries (my husband and I do youth ministry) and all though I WANT desperately for those kids to be there, it’s my husband who has to leave his family on Sunday mornings and nights to get it done.
sigh…I REALLY need that firewall.
I don’t want Satan creeping in anywhere, especially where my husband and our ministry are concerned!
I can really relate to this post. I have a best friend who fornicated for 10 years and is now rewarded with a beautiful family complete with twins. ( I have always desired twins.) I however am waiting for marriage and all I see is that she did not have to wait nor be put on hold. I have to put that out of my mind and as you say put up a firewall. Thank you for this post.
Ahh what a refreshing reminder for me today.. I find myself in occasional pitty parties… My particular pity is… I am a divorced mom of 3 kids.. from a man who lost his job (got caught up into drugs) and now pays me a very little amout of child support forcing me to work two jobs.. If I’m not careful I find myself going down that road of why can’t I find a good man, why did this have to happen, etc.. God is awesome though and reminds me that I am awful blessed. I get to be home working so that I am here for and with my children.