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My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry” (James 1:19 NIV).
One of the most common causes of frustration and friction in relationships is that we don’t really listen to each other. Too often we talk at each other rather than with each other.
Fortunately, listening is a skill that can be developed.
The benefits of learning how to listen are enormous: fewer mistakes, better negotiating, greater wisdom, more friends, less arguments, and much more.
The Bible tells us to be “Quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry” (James 1:19 NIV). If you master the first two skills, the third will be automatic.
Three things hinder our hearing:
Presumption: when we think we already know it all. “He who answers before listening—that is his folly and his shame” (Proverbs 18:13 NIV).
Impatience: when we interrupt and jump to conclusions. “There is more hope for a fool than for someone who speaks without thinking” (Proverbs 29:20 NLT).
Pride: when we’re defensive and unteachable. “The way of a fool seems right to him, but a wise man listens to advice” (Proverbs 12:15 NIV). You can learn from anyone if you know the right questions to ask.
Let me suggest three hearing aids:
Listen with your eyes. Probably 80% of communication is non-verbal. Facial expressions and body language usually tell the real story. Look at people when you listen to them!
Listen with your heart. Be sympathetic. Tune in to the emotions behind the words.
Make time to listen to the people around you. In the business world, Tom Peters calls this “Managing by Walking Around,” or MBWA. Imagine how your relationships could be transformed if you focused on carefully listening to those around you.
Lord, open my ears to hear today. Amen.
Questions: Can you think of a situation where if you would have listened with patience that things would have resulted in a more positive way? Why do we have so much trouble listening to what people say? What is the result of good listening skills?
About this Author Rick Warren
Daily audio podcast: A second daily devotional, God Smiles when we Use our Abilities, today on the Men’s Devotional Blog
Tags: arguments, Bible, eyes, heart, impatience, listening, negotiating, Presumption, pride, Rick Warren, Tom Peters, wisdom
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Thank you for this great devotional. I know I need to work on my listening skills, but I’ve never had it pointed out so clearly the things that hinder listening. How true that presumption, impatience and pride block our communication. God, I pray that You would help me to listen. I surrender my pride to You and ask that You would give me the patience to listen carefully and without presumption. Amen.
Isn’t it wonderful that God has blessed us with all these abilities that we so often forget to use? I know He at one time was constantly whispering “patience” to me. Then it became “pay attention”, then “be still and listen”. On the days I chose to listen, the most glorious of God’s creations came to me. Sunsets, communication with others, and, above all else, a feeling of fulfillment for having done as God asked. God will answer your prayers Suzanne. He already has. God is with you today and always. Amen.
Precious Lord, we thank You for modeling for us how to be good listeners, for You are always ready to hear our prayers, patient with us when we struggle for the words that express our deepest hurts, faithful to comfort us and encourage us as we wait upon You for answers. We praise You for Your Holy Spirit that makes us teachable, that gives us the grace to respond to Your gentle nudgings. Forgive us, Lord, when we respond hastily without seeking Your wisdom and guidance in relational conflict. Keep us pliable in Your hands, Lord, that we would become softened hearts, eager to grow in our knowledge of You, and serve the body of Christ according to the gifts You have given each of us! Take our pride, our presumption, and our impatience and cast them into the sea with the rest of our sins, and fill us with joy and thanksgiving, as we seek to be “quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.” In Your most holy Name, Amen!
Thank you for the wonderful devotional. I just wanted to say that so often I think we forget the Listening with your heart, Be “SYMPATHETIC”. Tune in to the emotions behind the words part and I think that this one is so very important for us to remember. Hugs, Linda!!!
many times i have not listened when i should have i just keep try to do better
Rick, thank you for the devotional. You ask why do we have so much trouble listening to what people say and I believe that listening is somewhat of a lost art. sitting still is even harder(I am speaking of personal experience only, not for anyone else). it takes discipline to re-learn after a life time of no one wanting to listen to you (me). I guess I can say that I never had anyone that wanted to listen to me when I was growing up. but it can be done.
The Lord listens to me and I am learning to do the same. again, it takes time.
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