The Best Advice I Received on Marriage
Has your world shattered and left you with no hope for your marriage? This video and online study will help you discover some basic and practical tips.
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If you had asked me my plan for my life, it would not have included being a newlywed at the age of 40! I was marrying for the first time. I had been in ministry with women for years and I had heard a lot of teaching on marriage and relationships. However, the best advice I received was just before I married Allan in 2001.
The advice came through a friend of a friend. Here is what I was told. My friend’s friend, used to stand at her kitchen sink every night doing dishes. She would think over the day and begin to make a list of all the things her husband did or didn’t do that drove her crazy. Then, he would enter the kitchen and she would turn around with daggers in her eyes. He would be completely taken off guard and wonder what he had done that had upset her so much. It wasn’t just one thing – it was everything!!
Then the Lord spoke to this woman’s heart and challenged her to stop keeping a record or being like a prosecutor and building a “defense” against her husband. She began to thank God for the great qualities she saw in him and her life and relationship changed.
That was the advice I was given and I have put it into practice. There is ample opportunity in any marriage to “build a case” against your spouse in your mind. Whenever you begin down that road, stop yourself. Begin to think in the opposite direction. It will save needless arguments. Instead, appreciate the qualities you see and look for the good and not the bad.
That is the best advice I have ever received for marriage. It is biblical. In 1 Corinthians 13:5b it says “it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.” The “it” is love. You will never be able to love your spouse if you are constantly keeping a record of wrongs.
Father, thank you for my spouse. Thank you for the gift he is to me and for all of the good qualities I see in him (be specific). Lord, I ask You to bless him. I ask that You will grant him favor, courage, strength, Your peace, the fruit of Your Spirit flowing from within him. Lord, help me to be the best wife I can be to him. Father, please help me not to even go down the road of “building a case” or “making a list”. Help me to be grateful, thankful, and a cheerleader in his life. In Jesus’ holy and precious name I pray, Amen.
Questions: What happens to your attitude when you begin to “make a list” or “build a case” in your heart against your spouse? The next time you have an opportunity to “make a list” or “build a case”, what can you do to stop yourself from going down that road?
About the Author Donna Mitchell
Daily audio podcast: A second daily devotional, Thine is the Kingdom…, today on the Men’s Devotional Blog
Donna, thank you for the devotional.
My ‘attitude’ needed major adjustment as it nearly cost me to lose my husband of 20 years. But by the grace of God our marriage is more solid now than ever and there is no counselor out there that gets the credit. the credit goes to the Lord and the Lord only. till death do we part
Praise God for this powerful message to marriage couples. I missed the mark in the area and it derailed my marriage however I now know the dangers of negative words towawrd my spouse. Married couples listen up .. this may save your marriage
When we marry, we always see our partners to be perfect. Since nobody really is, we later see some percentage of imperfection. If we delve on it, we miss out on the bigger percentage left which made us fall in love with them in the first place. Even God is magnanimous in forgiving our flaws.
Such a powerful statement and oh so true. As my fiance’ and I work on getting us to the marriage table I realize it is vey important not to go down the road of negative list.
This is one of the best pieces of advice I have seen for married women and women who are looking to get married.