The Ridiculousness of Forgiveness
A bomb is meant to bring death. A bomb is never meant to bring joy or happiness or strength.
A bomb is meant to kill. To destroy.
Bombs of various shapes and functions are killing innocents in Africa, damaging oil pipelines in British Columbia, delivering mayhem to cities across the planet. There’s little room for wavering about the function of a bomb: it is meant to conduct violent destruction to its surroundings.
I’ve had the experience of a bomb going off in close proximity twice in my life. It disturbs the normal function and routines of daily life. One moment the world is normal – plans can be made and the expectation is that those plans will be fulfilled. The next moment, it’s difficult to get on a subway or a bus without looking for something that shouldn’t be there. A small package. A backpack. Anything that is out of place becomes malicious and threatening. Yet I’ve never had the experience of a bomb going off in my immediate proximity (nor do I care to have this experience).
That’s why this article from the Langley Times challenges me. As a citizen, my immediate reaction is to cry out for justice. Find the criminal, hunt him or her down. By any means necessary, justice must be swift and ferocious. In my perfect world, the criminal will be caught, publicly apologize with profuse crying and groveling, and then sent away to the Island of No-Return. Forgiveness? What a ridiculous idea!
And yet the victims of this senseless attack choose this unexpected path – forgiveness. Where is the retribution? Where is the hatred? Whether it’s a physical bomb, or an emotional one given to us by a coworker or a friend or a family member, each of us have the potential of inflicting pain on those around us that can be long-lasting and deep. And when it happens to us, our default response is to desire – or demand! – some sort of justice. “I need to have my hurts recognized,” we cry out. “I need to make sure that the offending party knows beyond a shadow of a doubt that they have been wrong.” It doesn’t matter if the hurt is catastrophic or is as insignificant as someone cutting me off in traffic. I demand justice! I will roar up on the person in front of me, just so they know that they have done me a terrible injustice, and there! Now you know that you have wronged me because I am currently riding one foot from your bumper! Or, “oh family member, you must know how hurt I am! So I am going to remove my relationship from your life for the next few months/years so you can feel the pain you have brought about!” There, justice! It feels so good! It feels so right!
It feels so empty.
The ridiculousness of God’s idea of forgiveness is that it not only frees me from the shackles of vengeance but it directs its attention outward as an extension of grace. I love the response from Gary Stevenson, “We have no bitterness, but my heart breaks for this person because they are hurting.” What began as an act of violence had the potential to create a downward spiral of hatred and retribution for the Stevenson family. Instead, this family has chosen a posture of forgiveness, opening doors to demonstrate this incredible idea to their community. And perhaps that’s something that I need more of in my own life. From the family member who utters an unkind word, to the coworker who causes tension, to the passing stranger who shatters the ideal plan for my upcoming day, God’s intention is that I would live under the idea of grace and forgiveness. After all, I’m not perfect either.
The real truth is that the act of forgiveness is meant to heal. It is never meant to harm or kill or bring about revenge.
Forgiveness is meant to restore. To bring life.
I’m challenged by God’s belief in the ridiculous.
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Tags: bomb, discipleship, encouragement, evangelism, forgive, forgiveness, gary stevenson, God, langley, prayer, questions, Shaun Smith, thankfulness
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Total truth.
You have, once again, challenged me to go back and look at the way I am living my life. Thanks, Shaun.