“My sister cannot keep this baby can you take her?” This question turned my world upside down one day. This phone call came out of the blue. The baby’s name was Cassie, she was fifteen months old and needed a home. That was enough for my mother’s heart to say, “yes, I want her.” I knew nothing about her, her temperament, her personality or her situation. I just knew that she needed a home and I wanted to be her mother.
As we considered the question of adopting baby Cassie I learned much about God our Father. I know we were called to the path of pursuing Cassie, even though we did not adopt her. Another home was chosen for her. But the lessons learned in that experience will stay with me for a lifetime.
The first thing I learned is that God cares and is working on our behalf way beyond our understanding. This child was wanted by several families, yet God very specifically chose one family for her, in His time. She was well cared for and happy in her temporary home and oblivious to the many people making decisions, praying for her, and choosing her future. Our family alone had a prayer team of 30 people praying for her placement into the right home for her. How often does God work on my behalf unbeknownst to me? I only see a small piece of the picture not the larger whole.
I have a new understanding of adoption being about being chosen and wanted. We wanted that baby to be a part of our family, so did other families. This was a very wanted child. So are we as children of God. As we thought about taking Cassie into our home, we considered the challenges we would face. We knew that she had been exposed to drugs in utero, probably had an attachment disorder, and certainly faced emotional issues. (Her current home was her third home). We faced the reality of raising a very difficult child, yet we wanted her, and we hadn’t even met her. We chose her.
God as a perfect father accepts and wants us with all our issues. He chooses me as I am, knowing all the potential for difficulty and lovingly works with me to be the best I can be. He loves me and encourages me all the time, with unconditional love.
The difficult lesson was learning the difference between expectation in what I think the outcome will be and expectancy in what God will do. These are two very different things, as I came to understand. I know God called us to the journey of adopting Cassie, but I came to understand it was for the lessons learned, and not to add to our family.
I was disappointed, hurt and disillusioned, when the social worker told us another home had been chosen. I was expecting a certain outcome. I expected to have a daughter named Cassie. Over time as I came to peace with God’s plan, I accepted the rich and valuable lessons I gained from my journey of adoption that did not end with another child. God called us, and He did work, just not how I expected.
My relationship with God is much richer and deeper in understanding because of adoption. First, because he adopted me. I am His child with all the benefits of being a child of the king. Ephesians 1:4-6 says, “For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will— to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves.”
Second, I now have new understanding of how God works in my life through my journey of adoption. God works on my behalf, even when I cannot see it. I now know the difference between expectation and expectancy in God’s plan. There are several other lessons I learned and count that time as a significant time of growth in my life. I gained new insights into both my husband’s and children’s hearts also. God is good and used this time to continue to grow me as His daughter.