It’s Still Not About You

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I recently received a question about what to do in the face of profanity from unbelieving career associates and neighbors. “Hearing God’s name being smeared in the mud makes me very sad and angry and upset,” this person wrote. “If I think it is wrong and I continue to tolerate it without saying anything, then isn’t it wrong for me?” Not necessarily.

I replied with the following paragraph:

“I think this really depends on the relationship. If it is one with respect, then you can ask someone to alter their behavior on your behalf based on what you believe even if they don’t. In a relationship with respect, you would do the same thing for them, as long as what they were asking of you didn’t violate any of your core beliefs. But if they don’t give a rip about what you believe and have no intention of altering their behavior for you or anyone else, then what are you going to do? Ignore them? Leave them alone in their bitterness? This is where the love and compassion of the Lord comes in. Believe me, he’s put up with a lot more than bad language in order to love people!”

Imagine what God tolerates every day from a world that he loves. The Scriptures teach that God is actually shelving his anger over the wickedness of the world, because this is the season of salvation. This is when he wants to major on the gift of forgiveness he is offering in Christ. There will be a time of retribution coming, but right now, he’s tolerating all kinds of bad behavior in order to save as many as possible.

I think we also have to honestly ask ourselves whether our wish for unbelievers to change their language around us is more out of concern for ourselves than for them. So what if we feel uncomfortable? Shouldn’t we get over it for the sake of the relationship? You can’t ask someone who doesn’t care about God to act like they do just for your sake.

I am reminded about a story a New Testament prof at a Christian college once told me about his kids, one of whom was having a birthday. The other was typically jealous of the attention his sibling was receiving, and the father had to take his son aside and tell him, “Look, son. It’s not about you today; it’s all about your sister.”

Suddenly, he could envision his heavenly Father taking him aside in the face of a world that offends him constantly, and whispering, “Look, son. It’s not about you anymore; it’s about them now.”

If you think about it, isn’t that the way it should be?

Question: In what ways do our churches often promote self-absorption instead of putting God first?

About this Author: John Fischer

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