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“And it is He who will supply all your needs according to his riches in glory, because of what Christ Jesus has done for us” (Philippians 4:19).
Married at last! It was so natural to be together all of the time – like we were made for each other. When we were first married, we were so poor – we didn’t even have a car. We lived in one room in a big old house and shared the bathroom with three other couples. My husband was going to college and I worked as a clerk in a drugstore. Life was good and we never even noticed that we were poor. We were happy!
Life kept changing and so did we. We began having babies. By the time we were twenty – five, we had four children. Marvin had finished college and we were owners of a large egg farm. We worked hard and God granted us a measure of financial success.
Marvin, being athletic, played hockey, baseball, football and loved to golf. The children and I spent many evenings at the hockey arena or on the bleachers at the baseball games; although, I loved reading, gardening and crafts. We both had leadership positions in our church and denomination.
After several years, I began getting tired with going to his sports events and discontent with the busyness of life. I felt like my husband wasn’t meeting my needs. I wanted the kind of relationship where he would understand and meet all my needs. Having a new house, nice clothes, jewelry and many holidays didn’t satisfy me either. I was putting a lot of pressure on my husband to be different. I wanted him to change. Marriage didn’t seem so great any more.
One weekend, Dr. Henry Brandt, a Christian psychologist, spoke at a conference we attended. He taught us some truths that revolutionized our marriage. He said the person we married could never meet our needs because they were only human beings – only God could meet all our needs. That was a new way of thinking for me! But I knew instantly that what he said was true.?
And so, my thinking began to change. I quit expecting Marvin to meet my needs (at least most of the time) and began to go the Word and the Lord when I felt needy. And I changed. I was happier. I began to thank God for all the wonderful characteristics in my husband. In response to my changed attitude, Marvin became sensitive to my needs. Amazing how God works!
Sometimes I still slip into my old way of thinking – but not for long. Only God can meet my needs and your needs. Jesus satisfies!
How are you doing in your marriage? Are you expecting your spouse to meet your needs? If so, pray the prayer below and begin looking to God, your Creator, to meet your needs:
Father God, I acknowledge that I have put pressure on people to do for me what only You can do – satisfy all my needs. From this day forward, I will look to You and Your Word to fill me with everything I need. Thank You! Amen.
Questions: Do you sometimes feel your spouse is not meeting your needs? What would be a good step for you to take in order to begin solving this problem?
About the author Katherine Kehler