Silencing the Chatter to Hear His Voice
Are you tired of living a life of trying to please everyone?
“Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, ‘This is the way; walk in it’” (Isaiah 30:21, NIV).
I have a confession to make. I was a compliant child. How was that a problem, you might ask? It makes me a people pleaser. I rest only after I’ve done enough for everyone to love me, which often leaves me exhausted, both emotionally and physically. And when there is nothing left to give? Undeserved guilt soon follows.
The other problem with being compliant is that many times, people like me get lost in the noise and chatter of well-meaning voices that remind us what is expected of us. People pleasers seldom find the courage to determine what God has in store.
In order to truly hear the voice of God, we must distance ourselves from everyone else. If we ask questions, we must stay long enough to hear His answers. And in many cases, He often calls his children to do the opposite of what the rest of the world is doing.
Just ask the young mother who traded in her high profile career to spend her days with her children. Ask the missionary who sold his big house and SUV to live in a hut in a faraway land. Ask the father who works a job he hates in order to provide for his family. The truth is that we were not created for everyone to love us, as Jesus painfully demonstrated.
Jesus was not compliant. Even his family and those in his home town had a hard time understanding what he was up to at times. Not one time did he alter his actions or beliefs based on the expectations of others.
I hate to imagine what would have happened if those who loved him tried to talk him out of what God had called him to do. The only chance we have at eternal life came because Jesus was willing to be hated.
Dear God,
Thank you for Jesus and the example he provided for us. We confess that sometimes it is difficult to find our place in your world. It is a busy place, and sometimes we get so caught up in survival that we forget to seek your guidance. We thank you for the love and wisdom of our families and friends, but please help us to separate ourselves enough to hear your voice as well.
Touch our hearts and strongly lead us. We want to follow, even when it doesn’t make sense. We trust you above all else, and are willing to go where you lead us.
In Jesus’ Name, Amen
Questions: Are you a people pleaser? Where has that been getting you so far? How can you turn from being a people pleaser to being a God pleaser?
About the author Janet Morris Grimes
Thank you Louise. I appreciate your comments & prayers!
I can’t say that I know how you feel as I am in a totally different situation. Well meaning friends do say hurtful things sometimes. Please do take time for yourself! Do something that is fun. Your friend has never been in the same type situation or she would not have hurt you. As you go about doing all those difficult tasks always ask God to give you strength and wisdom and He will. You will be in my prayers. God answers prayers.
Although I understand the concept of compliance/people pleaser, I’m not sure that I see any alternative right now. I have a mother-in-law with Alzheimer’s, a father with cancer, and a 92-y/o dear friend who has absolutely no one else upon whom to rely. None of them are wealthy enough to hire any type of help, so that isn’t a realistic possibility. I am a 56-y/o female, happily married with one child still at home. Between ordering & setting meds for these parents & elderly friend, grocery shopping & cooking for each, paying bills & handling paperwork, etc. for each, doctors / dentists / optometrists / podiatrists, etc. for each; not to mention caring for my own family, I’m quite frankly exhausted. I do meet up one morning a week (about 5-6 mos out of the year) with a few of my girlfriends for a round of golf. A very dear Christian friend of mine suggested that perhaps I should give up my weekly golf date to spend more time alone with God. I almost cried at the thought since this is the only thing that I do for myself. Am I wrong? Any comments or suggestions would be appreciated. Thanks much!
I used to be that kind of person,trying to please people.But,i realised that by trying to please some one, i step on the other persons toes so i decided to live for God because He is the one that gives favour and not my effort. Proverbs 21:1.
I have to intentionally say NO to people when what they are requesting will take much of my time that is already full of more important things. Years ago I read a book entitled, “How To Say No When You Don’t Want To Say Yes.” I don’t remember a lot about the book except that just saying the title makes me think before I commit to another task.
Any suggestions on how to be less of a people pleaser. It can be very difficult.
The concept of being a compliant child and becoming a people pleaser makes sense to me and I certainly qualify for the “label”–more so before becoming a Christian. As the child of two alcoholic parents, compliance became a means of survival and avoidance of punishment, so I perfected the role. As an adult I was so longing for acceptance that I would do almost anything asked of me so that people would “like” me or make me part of their group.Since becoming a Christian, I am much more interested in learning about God and reading and studying His Word than I am about being part of the “right” social circles. Please do not get me wrong–I still love people and being with friends, but I find the friends I now have and choose to spend time with are other Believers, and I do not have to please them–they are busy learning how to please God,too! The friends from my pre-Christian life with whom I am still friends have accepted the changes they see in me and still like me “just as I am”. so I am blessed in both ways.
Thanks for these wonderful devotionals. I have pondered over today’s subject a lot. And, sorry Misty, it doesn’t seem to get any easier with age, for me anyway, to get over being a people pleaser. I will be 66 next month. Like the previous comments, I too, have never connected being a compliant child to becoming a people pleaser.
I have also never put the two together…It really puts a strain on you that some people don’t understand…I have a hard time with trying NOT to please everyone…but maybe it will get easier the older I get.
Thanks!! I never put the two together…. being a compliant child & people pleaser. It has been true in my life. Only with age have I realized that I can’t please everyone.