What Do I Base my Self-worth On?
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“Cursed are those who put their trust in mere humans and turn their hearts away from the LORD….But blessed are those who trust in the LORD, and have made the LORD their hope and confidence” (Jeremiah 17:5-10, Application Bible).
The Bible speaks of two kinds of people: those who trust in mankind and those who trust in the LORD to meet their needs. One of the most basic needs is to feel significant. To know we are loved. We have value. We matter to someone.
Are you feeling hopeless?: Moving through your suffering
Exhale your sin: Find hope in the Holy Spirit
Where do you go to bolster your self-esteem?
Most of us look to people to give us the validation we need: to parents, teachers, husbands, friends. We gauge our self-worth by what they say about us. How they treat us.
But if we depend on people to give us the love and validation we crave, we’ll be disappointed. Jeremiah tells us we’ll be like stunted shrubs in the desert, with no hope for the future. We’ll look over a barren wilderness landscape where no one lives.
We need to build our self-worth on what God says about us: “I love you. I redeemed you. I call you by name.” Why? “Because you are precious and honored in my sight” (Isaiah 43:1-4).
If we feed on God’s truths we’ll be like trees planted beside a stream with roots deep in the water. Such trees are not bothered by heat or worried by long months of drought. Their leaves stay green, and they go right on producing delicious fruit.
“Focus not on your capacity, but on your connection to God,” writes Millie Dienert.
That’s where true self-worth comes from.
Dear God, I do believe that you love and value me. Take hold of my emotions so that I will not only believe it with my head, but feel it with my heart. Amen.
Questions: What do you base your self-worth on? Why will we be disappointed if we base our self worth on what others say about us?
About the Author Helen Grace Lescheid
18 Responses to “What Do I Base my Self-worth On?”
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Dear Vanessa,
Thank you for posting here. I want to pray for you now:
Dear Heavenly Father, thank You for Vanessa. Thank You that there is no one like her in all the earth, that she is created for a purpose, that You have a plan for her, that no one is able to accomplish the good works You have laid out for her to do. I pray that as she seeks truth, she would find You, that she would be hungry to read her Bible and get to know about how deeply You desire relationship with us. Please bless her and keep her, make Your face to shine upon her, and we trust that goodness and mercy shall follow her all the days of her life.
Please write to us again anytime Vanessa, or feel free to “Talk to a Mentor” just click on the link at the upper left side of this web page.
Many blessings,
Kate
thank u
Kim, i thought my 2nd husband was my “Boaz” my man of God.(i stayed single for 14 yrs.after my 1st divorce) When i met him he was starting bible studies all over the city. He asked me to be his assistant in 2 of them. This is how it started. i finally let myself believe God had finally answered my prayer After 3 yrs of him pursuing me, i gave in to marrying him. ONE year into it, i discovered he was an alcoholic! He hid it SO well! For the following 3 yrs, the stress caused the cancer to get worse in my body and i had to endure 6 months of surgery and recovery. It was a living nightmare. i finally had him arrested for physical abuse. So there are “wolves in sheep’s clothing” out there even when they profess Jesus Christ as thier LORD. Perhaps God is teaching me to be more aware. This one i just got rid of hid his gambling addiction from me for 2 yrs. He would go to church and profess Jesus Christ as well. i didn’t fall into the marriage trap with him even when he gave me a ring and proposed to me twice. Don’t know what it is about me (i’m in counceling)which attracts these men with hidden sins who in the end always “return to thier vomit.” i don’t trust anyone…only the LORD n even this takes a great deal to hang on to. Thank you for your concern. Peace n Joy ~trisha
Hi Trisha, My heart hurts so much when I read your notes, as I can totally relate! I used to look for love with men than were no good for me. When I became a Christian, I realized that the Bible says “Do not be yolked with unbelievers.” God showed me that I need to be with someone who also loves Him and puts Him first. There was even a brother that I had very deep feelings for and God said NO. It hurt me so deeply. I now see that God protected me as he cheated on the girlfriend he had after me. He is not longer a Christian. I finally got to a place where God completed me and that’s when I met up with my now husband. God has a plan for you, one to prosper you and not to harm you! May the Lord bless you with patience and surrender!
wow! a complete stranger calling me sister!Thank you Shelley. i have 3 of them and not a one of them could care if i were alive or dead. Just add it to the list. Arlette, just for the record i want you to know it was the men who pursued me not the other way around. i just dumped another one and the peace is starting to get better. Ya know it hurts me to be mad at Jesus yet i know He still loves me anyway. This is what assurance is about. HE lets me be me and still accepts me as i continue on my journey. Thank you again Shelley for your prayer as today i can honestly say i feel better than the past few ~trisha
Dear Heavenly Father.
We come to you my sister’s and i and ask that You wil be with each one of us her on this web page. I especially lift up my sister Trisha and ask that You will surround her with Your LOVE that You give to each one of us. I pray that You will touch her heart and heal her and bless her. In Jesus Mighty Name Amen.
to Arlette, i wish there was a way for you to show me i was wrong too believe me. When i think about it perhaps you r right about not being at peace with myself. i always find myself in relationships at times when i’m going through some kind of heartache. It’s true how the enemy tries to coax me over to his side by putting nasty destructive thoughts in my mind to get back at those who hurt me. i have to drown myself it HIS Word or i will only reap more havoc. It’s hard for me to listen to the LORD when i hold him responsible for everything going wrong in my life. HE’s the one in charge and yet all my life has been one disaster after another and trust me Arlette, you don’t want to hear the ugly details as they would crush you and bring you to a bucket of tears. i have been in n out of counceling most of my life so i guess i’d be doing alot worse if i hadn’t been. i long for the day when i can feel so good about myself and have the light of the LORD shining so brightly through me that i will finally attract a man who will want to be an encouraging part of my life.Some one who will make me feel BETTER about myself not worse! Thank you for your kind words and concern i tryly needed them and an very appreciative of you. Blessings~trisha
Trisha- it made me so sad to read that last line of your reply. I wish there was a way to show you that you are so wrong about that. Have you ever thought that perhaps you are choosing these men and the Lord is protecting you? Sometimes the one thing we have always wanted is not what is really best for us and so He protects us from ourselves. You must be patient,dear sister, and not let the anger and frustration separate you from God. All of those feelings are the things the enemy uses against us to draw us further away from God and closer to evil. Do you know that Jesus cries with you when you are hurt and grieves when you pull away from Him? He cares for little sparrows so how much more does he care for you? Patience is a hard one when you are lonely and wanting love so bad. Maybe that is why you have not found the real thing..because you truly must be at peace with yourself before you can allow the love of another. I went through an absolute nightmare that lasted years in chasing love. It was when I finally gave up on someone else completing me that I found peace…and love! So many people think that love has to be this roller coaster with high drama and intense everything. I say it is like fire..you have a huge raging one and it will burn out and burn you. But a simple candle will give you light and help you to see for many days. God bless you and please don’t give in to bitterness.
It’s my self esteme that is either up in the air snobby…or I am in a big self doubt cloud….sometimes just a mist.
My husband had told me I’m religous. This comment has made me feel guilty and try to get more down to earth. That includes skipping church services. I think I do this to please him and be loved. I can see this is not edifying for my growth with Jesus. So we had a talk recently and we decided not to put going to church up for discussion every Sunday……We will go without talking about it first. He is agreeable. I also have been asking for some quiet time for myself on weekends…to read my spirt filled books that please me. This is hard…I think I should completely be with him the entire time we are off together. Then I am not being fed by God. Restlessness enters and dissappointments acrue…..because God Is ALL!!!
This is just what i needed for today. I have felt exactly as the devotion for today has highlighted. Thank you, I will believe and feel valuable, because I am precious and valuable to God.
Thank you and God bless.
Tam thanks for the encouragement but the reality is, it’s mostly NO and as for the “not now” well, it seems to always be “not now” and it’s always “now”. i am mad at God right now because i KNOW HE doesn’t leave or forsake me. HE’s watching all my heartache and pain and sorrow. How do you feel when you are in pain and someone just stands there and doesn’t do anything for you? it’s horrible isn’t it? When i’ve been hurt i want to hurt the person back. It takes every bit of my will to not do it. i could die tomorrow and will never had the one thing i’ve always asked God for and this makes me very very sad to never have had someone love me and for me to give it back to someone who really cares. Jesus is the one who called me to His side to be with HIM…i KNOW He’s there. This just doesn’t seem to be enough for me after so many failed relationships. He’s there allowing all the hurt to happen. If He values me so much why doesn’t He put someone in my life who will value me too? Why are they always the strays? The alcoholic, the compulsive gambler, the womanizer, the deceiver, the conman? i love Jesus i just wish He loved me more.
I’ve struggled with this a lot and I’m finally able to realize, who it is that I need to please and all else will fall in line. Trisha, I was once where you are but please know that God will never leave you nor forsake you and sometimes God’s no, isn’t no it is just not now, we have to have faith and trust him to do what he promised. God Bless You! thanks for the devotionals, they really are a blessing.
i WANT to believe God loves me and values me yet my life is not a reflection of this. i have so much bitterness, hurt and anger towards never being able to have the one thing i’ve longed for all my life…to be loved, accepted and enjoyed for who i am.
WOW!! God really knew I needed to hear this today!! THANKS!!! I feel like people change their minds daily about how they feel about you, whereas God is the same yesterday, today, and forever, always loving you!! Thanks for this message, it was exactly what I needed to hear!! I am loved and chosen by our heavenly father!! WAHOO!! =}
We will always be dissapointed when we base our self worth onwhat others say because, we will never be satisfied with what others are saying. This weekend was a test for me, I constantly complained because my husband was not paying enough attention to me. Instead of looking to God to make me feel better about myself, I trusted in man and he let me down. My husband didnt know what the problem was, but if I only trusted God to give me that hug I was looking for, that could have solved the whole problem.
Good morning, this lesson was for me based just on my past week of events. Unfortunately, I do look for validation from my husband and almost always am disappointed. I need to stop focusing on my husband to validate my happiness and receive happiness from my God and for myself. Yes, God I say this prayer to you; Please take hold of my emotions so that I not only believe in my head but my heart as well. Allow me to focus on you and not me after all it’s not about me it’s about you, in your precious name i pray. Amen!
I also pray that You will bless my sister Helen who wrote this devotional, her self, family and ministry.
Dear Heavenly Father
My total focus is on You 24/7.
At the New year resolution is to get closer to You each day You give me another day to live here on planet earth.
When You take me home, I will see You!!!
I LOVE You with all of me and know that You go forward for me on my travels of this world.
Thank You for the LOVE that YOU give to me.
In Jesus Mighty Name Amen.