Ashes for Beauty

Written by Claire Colvin

I was both surprised and deeply saddened by a video on CNN this morning that asked “Has Porn Hijacked Sexuality?” The video shows an interview between CNN anchor John Roberts and author and sociologist Gail Dines.  Dines is the author of the book Pornland which looks at the effect of pornography on people’s view of sex and even of their own bodies.
The stats in the interview are horrible:

• 420 million pages of pornography on the internet
• 42 million sites
• 68 million searches for porn EVERY DAY

But the one that stuck with me the most when Dines said that the average age a boy first views pornography is now 11. As she goes on to explain, the danger for these boys is that at 11 they haven’t had any other sexual experiences, so when they see these images they become the boy’s baseline, their “normal” for what sex looks like, for what it is and what it should be.

Roberts goes on to quote a study from 2003 that found that in 56% of divorces one partner was a habitual user of pornography.  As Dines explains, “Porn is industrial strength sex.  Next to that actual sex looks boring and bland.”

In a horrible perversion of the promise in Isaiah 61:3 thousands and thousands of people are trading ashes for beauty instead of the other way around.  The fiction is so potent they become incapable of enjoying or even participating in normal, healthy, intimate relations.

As part of her research Dines has spoken to many in the porn industry and it’s their responses that really stopped me cold.  When she asked them, “Where does the industry go from here?” they responded that it feels like a runaway train.  They have no idea where things are going because the consumer demand is for darker and darker material.

The easiest way to stop a runaway train is to go nowhere near it in the first place.  But what if it’s already too late for that? If you or someone you know is there is help available.  If you would like to talk privately with a mentor, use this form to submit your request and we’ll match you up with a mentor who will contact you by email.  Mentoring is a free and confidential service.

These articles are also a good place to start:

Helping Your Husband Battle Pornography
Sex Addiction
Help! My Husband Doesn’t Want Sex
Women Addicted to Porn
The Effects of Internet Pornography

xxxchurch.com is an amazing resource for anyone dealing with issues with pornography.