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Has your world shattered and left you with no hope for your marriage? This video and online study will help you discover some basic and practical tips.
If you had asked me my plan for my life, it would not have included being a newlywed at the age of 40! I was marrying for the first time. I had been in ministry with women for years and I had heard a lot of teaching on marriage and relationships. However, the best advice I received was just before I married Allan in 2001.
The advice came through a friend of a friend. Here is what I was told. My friend’s friend, used to stand at her kitchen sink every night doing dishes. She would think over the day and begin to make a list of all the things her husband did or didn’t do that drove her crazy. Then, he would enter the kitchen and she would turn around with daggers in her eyes. He would be completely taken off guard and wonder what he had done that had upset her so much. It wasn’t just one thing – it was everything!!
Then the Lord spoke to this woman’s heart and challenged her to stop keeping a record or being like a prosecutor and building a “defense” against her husband. She began to thank God for the great qualities she saw in him and her life and relationship changed.
That was the advice I was given and I have put it into practice. There is ample opportunity in any marriage to “build a case” against your spouse in your mind.
Whenever you begin down that road, stop yourself. Begin to think in the opposite direction. It will save needless arguments. Instead, appreciate the qualities you see and look for the good and not the bad.
That is the best advice I have ever received for marriage. It is biblical. In 1 Corinthians 13:5b it says “it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.” The “it” is love. You will never be able to love your spouse if you are constantly keeping a record of wrongs.
Father, thank you for my spouse. Thank you for the gift he is to me and for all of the good qualities I see in him (be specific). Lord, I ask You to bless him. I ask that You will grant him favor, courage, strength, Your peace, the fruit of Your Spirit flowing from within him. Lord, help me to be the best wife I can be to him. Father, please help me not to even go down the road of “building a case” or “making a list”. Help me to be grateful, thankful, and a cheerleader in his life. In Jesus’ holy and precious name I pray, Amen.
Questions: What happens to your attitude when you start to think negative thoughts about your spouse? What can you do to stop thinking negative thoughts about your spouse?
About the Author Donna Mitchell