Cutting: A cry for help
When I was in high school I knew kids who drank heavily. I knew about kids who took drugs and in my Grade 9 year someone committed suicide. But I did not know any students who cut themselves. Fast forward to 2010 and ask my niece about cutting in her high school and she’ll tell you in a quiet voice, “I know a lot of kids who do that.”
Teens and young adults have always walked a treacherous road of new experiences, changing hormones and very little experience. It is often overwhelming, sometimes for a few days, sometimes for a few years. I can only imagine what it’s like to be a teen now with your whole life on Facebook, open and vulnerable to the world. Everyone finds a different way to deal with the pain, some that are healthy, many that not. More and more teens are turning to cutting.
When I first saw Dena Yohe’s article “Understanding Cutting” my first response was, “I don’t want to know.” Cutting is a painful reality and I didn’t want to think about these beautiful kids taking a blade to their own body. I didn’t want to think about a line of blood and a scar forever. But I’m the grown-up now, which means I should not turn away. Where possible I need to educate myself so that if I’m ever faced with this situation I can help.
Yohe’s article is excellent primer for anyone who knows someone who is cutting or may know someone in the future. Mistakenly I thought cutting was a dark obsession, like a love of horror movies taken too far. But that’s not it at all. As Yohe explains, “People cut to deal with difficult problems or feelings they cannot verbally express.” Cutting is a cry for help.
Her advice on how to help is clear and straight forward. She writes:
If you have suspicions, go ahead and ask them about it. Friends with cutting problems are often glad to be able talk about it. If you bring it up and this person isn’t self-injuring, it won’t start just because you said something about it. If they leave their wounds uncovered so that you can see them, they want you to ask them about it. Offer options but don’t tell your friend what to do. If someone’s using cutting or some other kind of self-injury as a way to feel in control, it won’t help if you try to take control of the situation. Helping someone see ways to get help – like talking to a parent, pastor, teacher, school counselor or mental health professional- may be the best thing you can do.
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Shawna, I have to disagree with your comment that “if someone is cutting than their parents aren’t doing their job of keeping their kid out of depression or sadness”. Sometimes good, loving, attentive parents have no idea that it’s going on. In my own battle with depression as a teen I went to ENORMOUS lengths to make sure my parents didn’t know what I was going through. I didn’t want to talk about it and so I made sure they had no reason to think that anything was wrong. If you’d asked them during that time they probably would have told you that I was just a little quiet. It wasn’t until years later, long after the danger passed that I ever admitted to them that I had been suicidal. I’m sure there are some parents who miss the signs but there also other parents who never get a chance to see what’s really happening.
I feel a load of compassion for those who cut. I think that if someone is cutting than their parents aren’t doing their job of keeping their kid out of depression or sadness. For those who cut… there are other ways to ease the pain. In case you didn’t know… Cutting is very serious. If you are someone who cuts please let someone know so they can help you. If you don’t do it for the people who care about you at least do it for yourself…;)
I was a cutter back in 1991. Yep, long time ago. Felt gr8 to relieve myself from the pain in my heart to my leg. Sillyness now, but realit5y then. God healed my <3 n i trust God now. God heals n help us through every trial we encounter, n i totally have compassion on those crying out for help. :)