Date Your Spouse Not Your Cell Phone

Written by Aubri Galano

We’re all attached to our phones – they’re practically an extension of our arms. They are a part of our lives and checking them frequently can easily become a habit. Our phones are a way that we stay connected with people; however, if we aren’t careful they can disconnect us from the people we are actually spending time with. That is pretty ironic.

One couple I know has a rule that whenever they go on a date or have a “date day” they turn off their cell phones. In the past, this has annoyed me when I’ve tried to reach them and couldn’t. It’s easy to get used to be able to contact anyone, any time, but most of our calls are not urgent.

Stay focussed

When you think about it, it’s annoying when you’re out on a date and the cell rings or beeps.

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Do you ignore it? Do you answer it? What about a text message? Scan it? Respond to it? Even if you don’t take the call, it does interrupt what you were doing and it takes your focus away from the person you are with.

Has this happened to you on a date? It’s happened to me. I’ll be talking to my husband when all of a sudden I notice his head is down and he’s looking at his phone. Don’t get me wrong I am guilty of doing this too, but that doesn’t mean I don’t get upset when he does it and vice versa. I end up feeling like the date isn’t important to him. Since that isn’t true, when we’re spending time together, turning off our cells is a good way to avoid conflict.

Pulling your attention elsewhere, even for a minute, takes away from the moment, interrupts the conversation and creates annoyance and frustration. When I answer a phone call or a text message it gives the impression that the person on the other end of the phone is more important than my spouse. This should not be the case, especially when you are on a date.

When you go out together, and it’s a good idea to do that at least once a week even if it’s just for coffee, put aside the distraction of a phone. Take that time to get to know your spouse better and focus on each other, not on crazy schedules and other people. If you are expecting a phone call, then plan date night on another evening.

Turn off your phone

If your spouse is important to you, prove it by choosing to spend time with them without the distraction of a phone. As my communication professor says, “Do what you do when you’re doing it.” Multitasking or splitting your attention gives less than 50% to each thing you are trying to do. When it comes to your spouse, 100% is what you want to receive from them and I’m sure they feel the same way about you. One way to effectively accomplish this is by getting rid of what is called external interference. This includes all the outside noise and distractions especially mobile devices.

I challenge you to go on a date without your cell, iPhone, Blackberry or whatever. If you have kids, then you take yours with you, but keep it on vibrate and only answer it if it has to do with the kids. See if giving your spouse your full attention makes a difference on your ability to communicate with each other.

Have you ever been frustrated by someone using their cell? Do you have any ideas for a date night without a phone? Take up my challenge and let me know how it goes in the comments below.

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