Dealing With Hurts
Are you struggling with hurt feelings? We’re here. We want to pray for you.
“Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you” (Ephesians 4:31-32).
An acquaintance of mine always seemed to bristle with anger at someone. “Would you believe that Ellie deliberately took my seat in the choir?” she asked me. When I looked at the choir and saw Alicia’s face set sternly in concrete I knew something must have happened
We all have times when we feel someone has offended us. Since we’re only human, it usually hurts, and sometimes it makes us angry. But after the initial affront, how we deal with it can make all the difference in the world.
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Unfortunately Alicia dealt with affronts in a way that was guaranteed to make and keep her miserable. Several weeks after Ellie had inadvertently committed her offense, she said, “You know, something has been troubling me lately. For the past several weeks Alicia seems to be deliberately snubbing me. In fact, I’ll start to smile and say ‘hello’ to her, and she’ll actually turn her head and look the other way.” Ellie paused and then her eyes brightened. “I guess I’d better go to Alicia and talk it out!”
This dear lady is a wise and understanding Christian. And she at least helped Alicia get over one grudge that was making her miserable! Robert Louis Stevenson said, “If the injured one could read your heart, you may be sure he would understand and pardon.”
True love, peace and joy come from the Spirit of God. Bitterness, hostility, and wrath grieve the Holy Spirit (Ephesians 4:30). Because forgiving people who hurt us often seems difficult, we don’t see many radiant Christian in our churches. This in turn hinders the effectiveness of our church’s ministry to the people and community. It hinders church boards, groups, and youth programs. It even results in church splits. And it definitely hurts our families.
What would happen if we Christian obeyed our Lord in the matter of forgiving people? Wouldn’t it be wonderful? Just think of the joy we would have, to experience the burden of anger, bitterness, and hostility lifted! Then people would really see Jesus in us.
Let’s look at some things the Lord and His Word say about forgiveness and love. Jesus said, “Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven” (Matthew 5:44-45a).
In our natural selves, loving our enemies is impossible. The Bible says, “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8). As sinners, we were God’s enemies, yet He loved us. So when His Spirit lives in us, He can give us the power to forgive our enemies, pray for them, and even love them. That’s part of His amazing grace.
Blessing those who curse us, doing good to those who hate us, and praying for them also help us to forgive and love them. If you can think of someone who has hurt you, try this.
I once worked with a young woman who made cutting remarks to me, and I tried the above process on her. Do you know what happened? We became friends; and when I left, she threw a wonderful going-away party for me!
Questions: Is there someone in your life who is making your life miserable? What step could you take that would be God honoring in this situation?
About the Author Muriel Larson
Hi Lupita, I think it’s very brave of you to ask for help. Jealousy is a hard emotion to deal — how do you tell yourself to just stop feeling a certain way? The advice that your friend gave you is very good. Prayer DOES help and having someone pray for you can help too. We have mentors on this site who are here to listen and pray with you and to help where they can. If you would like a mentor, just use this form to ask for one. If you have any trouble with the form, comment back here and I should be able to help.
Idont know if Im in the correct site…Im just looking for help ……I’m a 47 years old woman.been married for two years and I suffer fron Jelusy sorry about my spelling is not to good. I been trying to read every morning a devotional and to pray every day so that God will take control of my thoughts and bad feelings anger,sadnes,feeling unlike, many many bad thoughts that I face everyday.My housband is a nice person,so nice that everyone likes him (is that good?)We have a nice life no kids I have a daughther she has 2 children and they are very special for me and my housband. my problem is been so jelus because there is a womana in his school that is very flortishious and I really dont like that.
we have try counsuling before dint work, I recently open my self to my best friend she is christian and she told me that I have a big problem that only with prayer and the love of God everything will get better …..
Sorry again if I have misspell words.
thanks for reading
Lupita
Aroha dear, I understand your righteous indignation at that Sunday school teacher who molested you and the other professing “Christians” that let you down–and God has a hot place for them when they leave this world. But I perceive that because you didn’t move on with your life by forgiving them, anger, bitterness, and hatred have not only hurt you but your children by separating you and them from fellow Christians who really do love the Lord. See Mark 11:26, Matthew 7:1.
I myself have suffered often from the actions of professing Christians, even leaders in the church. But I forgave them and moved on. That kept me from becoming an angry, bitter person and helped me to rise above my hurts. Also I have gone on to serve the Lord wherever He has led me. Thus
He has used me to help many other people to know the Lord or to grow in Him.
May the Lord deliver you from your understandable anger and set you free to serve Him, dear sister.
I was sexually abused in church and 2tim3 is what I live by today. I was so screwed up and vulnerable for yrs anybody could do this to me. This is grief and persecution at it’s ugliest when it comes to the religious jezebel that imitates the holy spirit in church and I hate it with a righteous anger!
I can forgive, bless, and let go of my enemies because they Deny God! his power, healing and deliverance in their lives, but I want nothing to do with them and if they think they can come into my father’s house which unfortunately is full of naive’ Christians that are not discerning in this area and not bold enough to test it and make damn sure our children are safe in sunday skls, I’M sorry BUT I HATE WAT IS EVIL, AND DON’T APOLOGIZE FOR IT!!!
A mantle I don’t want to carry and ministry I actually hate today, but I was touched by a man professing bible stories pretending to be my sunday skl teacher good neighbor and trusted grandfather figure and babysister that was nothing but an abomination to our LORD, and very much soooo grieved the Holy Spirit!
I don’t think I grieve him when he’s looked to and fro for anyone! in this world that will stand up against the most disgusting thing ever to come to church and I mean, charismatic, pentecostal, western churches that are too interested in serving their church culture and maintaining it instead of really caring about their flock and those that have come from demonic, psychotic, and violent backgrounds, and suffer mental illness because of it today.
Today I don’t go to church…why??? Because my life was too hard for most and I HAD to go to church, attend functions, homegroups and the like, with no one visiting me over my 24yrs in church, and the only ones that have really cared are those that understand or have suffered like me and still find ourselves on the outskirts of ridiculous churches that don’t know how to be simple family to me and my children…it’s sad when I have to go back to my friends in the world when they are the only ones that facebook, ring, tex and visit me.
However God is my Dad, Jesus the Lover of my Soul,& Holy Spirit my brother…who will heal me in everyway but not to serve the church but to speak and sing about their ignorance in what really goes on and what they still DON’T DEAL WITH!…MY FATHER’S HOUSE IS SACRED AND WE ARE TO PROTECT THAT AND YET WHEN I’VE CHALLENGED IT, I’M THE NUTTER???LOL!….GUTLESS!!!
They are just not there for me…and that ain’t JESUS…
And if you think I’m still bitter, maybe…I don’t care anymore, all I care about is loving me, doing the best for me and my children, because I’ve poured my life out in everyway for many churhes for yrs as they took my money etc, but never supported me in a way I really needed but saw my performing art gifts, talents and used it for their own selfish ambition to further themselves, which is nothing but charismatic witchcraft to me today; and even Father told me to stop, so prophetic as I am, I’m also martyd for the cause that I believe in, and it’s my reason for living…and that is the territory we all live in..EPH6.
So not interested in being nice christian grl today and hate religious fools that allow this to continue because of fear of MAN or being exposed!!! Thus loosing their money, flock, authority and ultimately their job as well as Worldly police and social services getting involved that care more??!! They are not proper shepherds, that really leave the 99 to go look for the one missing, that desperately need it so much their life depends on it.
Eradicating Sexual, physically, psychological and spiritual abuse in the church is what Father really wants his people to deal with first so we can shine, and not be judged by a world that actually believes in the same according to most western laws…so we are no different to the world unless this is cleaned up. We may be able to love agape’ under his annointing, but so can an atheist that isn’t a doormat, that just has great character and integrity.
Kia Ora frm Middlearth New Zealand, and may you all be as bold as the Lioness’s you all are, because our end-time reality is this: Daughters of Zion: The Kingdom of Darkness will only be taken by force: so sharpen yr weapons in everyway and make a difference by being controversial for once in yr life… it will bring new vitality to yr bones;
Jesus had a whip, So why Can’t I??? Aren’t we suppose to be like him??? straight up, fighting for what is sacred and wiping our feet of dust when not accepted***
‘If a man hasn’t found something to die for in this world… he isn’t fit to live’
Martin Luther King Jr.
BLESS YOU ALL AND ESPECIALLY THOSE OF YOU AMAZING WOMAN OF GOD THAT HAVE SUFFERED THIS KIND OF ABUSE…MAY GOD RESTORE A MILLION-FOLD OF WAT THE LOCUSTS HAVE EATEN IN ALL OUR LIVES…***
thank you
Thanks Dr. Muriel….fantastic healing devotional. I had a situation at work where I used this strategy. The wisdom of God’s word never fails! I pray that this devotional feeds into many lives and heals relationships.
I loved this devotional, because I am going through this w/ my family now. I love them and pray for them, but we are so different and just don’t get along. God has given me a peace to keep a distance between us. I’m able (in His grace) to still love them (praying for a time that we can be together again), but that time is not now; not yet. I will know when it’s time and I will keep praying over it. Thanks for the Scripture reference, it was helpful to me. This verse in Ephesians especially caught my atteneting; “Bitterness, hostility, and wrath grieve the Holy Spirit (Ephesians 4:30)…There’s no grief in Jesus, and who wants to feel bitter and hostile anyway.