Drinking Poison – Don’t drink the Kool-Aid
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“If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins” (Matthew 6:14-15).
“Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others” (Colossians 3:13).
“But when you are praying, first forgive anyone you are holding a grudge against, so that your Father in heaven will forgive your sins, too. But if you refuse to forgive, your Father in heaven will not forgive your sins” (Mark 11:25-26).
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One of the hardest things I have ever had to do was forgive someone who didn’t ask for it. I think it is easier for me to forgive if the forgive-ee is at least sorry for what they did. I mean, when they are sorry, we sort of win, right?
When we refuse to forgive someone who we believe has wronged us it begins to compound into animosity and bitterness. Unforgiveness leads to a grudge, and holding a grudge is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die. It is only going to make you feel worse, and perhaps worst of all, the other person won’t feel a thing. Let’s be honest here, we really just want them to feel bad about hurting us, don’t we?
Being the bigger person is never easy, rarely well received but always the right choice. The Bible is clear that the consequence for withholding forgiveness from others is that we will not be forgiven by God. I sit here and think about that last statement, is there really anything in this world that someone could do to me, that would be worth me having to stand before the throne and not be covered by the forgiveness given to me? Forgiveness that I didn’t deserve or earn, but that was freely given.
Lord, Thank you for your grace and mercy. Thank you for forgiving me. Help me to forgive others. Amen
Questions: Why do we struggle so much to forgive? What is the result of unforgiveness?
11 Responses to “Drinking Poison – Don’t drink the Kool-Aid”
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Yes, i agree with Gladys. i beat myself up continueously for years b/c i let go of the offenses,b/c i was told in the churches i HAVE to forgive or if i didn’t God was so displeased with me. So, i would FORCE MYSELF to forgive with no relief at all. i began to experience FREEDOM when i told myself i DON’T HAVE TO forgive. This worked for me while the Holy Spirit worked out all the jumbled up emotions of the circumstances. And Yes the Word does say IF in many places. There ARE conditions to God moving in our lives. i “forgave” so many times only to regret it over and over again. i became the person’s doormat. It felt good to get others back after they hurt me yet i came to understand it is GOD i want to please. HE loves us and HE says, “Vengenace is Mine.” When i was capable to understand this in my mind and spirit, i was able to stop the “get backs” and let the Almighty deal with the person. In the beginning though, i felt God took way too long to DO anything and i felt i couldn’t trust HIM b/c HE was way too loving and understanding and the person who hurt me so badly would be “getting off the hook” way too easily. Now i keep my eyes on Jesus NOT the other person. I have seen where it was only a matter of time before they would end up messing up their own life. All i know is that the LORD works it all out somehow and i keep trusting in HIM even when it hurts!
Forgiveness is done two ways ~ between myself and God and between myself and the offender. I have forgiven my offender vertically and I’m at peace because I carry no offense. However, even tho’ my forgiveness is available to my offender, he must ask for it or he doesn’t have it. It’s the same way with myself and God. His forgiveness for my sins is available, but I have to ask Him for it ~ or I don’t have it!
“IF/WHEN we confess our sins, he is faithful to forgive…” I John 1:9
My daughter and I have not spoken in over two years. By reading this and by a friend witnssing to me I see I am holding a grude against her. I don’t feel I deserve the treatment I am receiving from her. I now see I have to forgive her and let go of that anger. Please pray for me to be able to do so.
This is something I’ve been struggling with. What does it mean to forgive? Do we simply ask God to release this person from our judgment and then let go of it, or do we need to go to that person and tell them that we have forgiven them? What if that person hasn’t acknowledge any hurt and it seems as if they don’t feel they did any wrong – do we go to them and tell them we have forgiven them? I know that I want to forgive, but I worry whether I have actually done so yet. Should forgiving someone remove the hurt and pain when we think about it? Can anyone shed light for me?
Bless you for allowing God to speak through you these wise words for living a fruitful life while on planet earth. Forgiveness if our choice and our freedom. Thank you, Dorothy.
We must remember that Jesus was speaking to the Jews in this scripture, so this was before the new covenant took place after Jesus died on the cross for our sins. If you read Colossians 3:3-18 you will see in verse 13 that we are to forgive each other because the Lord has forgiven us. You will not lose your salvation if you are having a difficult time forgiving someone. If you believe & trust in Jesus all your sins (past, present & future) are forgiven. Of course, this doesn’t give us a free license to have a sinful nature because we suffer the consequences from that. Having struggled in the past from being deeply hurt by several people I’ve learned what this lesson taught. We are only hurting ourselves by having an unforgiving heart.
God speaks to me daily through these devotionals and forgiveness is something I have been struggling with for several years now. My husband had an affair with a woman who nearly destroyed our family to win my husband. My husband asked me to forgive him and I did (with much work) but this woman has never said she was sorry and I can’t seem to “let it go” from my heart. I do pray for her and I pray that God will help me through this. I know I MUST forgive because I myself have been forgiven….easier said than done.
Awesome analogy Dorothy- very, very good. Bless you for sharing that!
What a great analogy – me drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die. It is true that when I refuse to forgive, it only hurts myself.
I too had struggled for years trying to forgive my stepdad for what he did to me because he never has said he is sorry or even admitts to doing anything wrong. and whats even worse my mom and stepdad are still together. I have said aloud that i forgive him, but someone once told me,just because you have forgiven someone doesnt mean you have to be buddy buddy with that person.
I unfortunately,was raidsed in an abusive situation. None is so blind as those who will not see. My mom died at my birth and my father’s family raised me. And they were a mess and I was let know regularly that I was lucky that they even took me in.(Which was a lie my mother’s family wanted me.) But to the point they not only felt comfortable in their abuse of me. But found it necessary to extend that behavior to my children and grandchildren. I lived with anger for them for years. They futher perpetuate it by continuing the same sorry behavior. Fortunately I dont live near them.Neither do my children and grandchildren. I pray daily for God to enable me to forgive these people. It would be easier if I could see a change in them.