The Love Test
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Have you ever made decisions about your relationships based on your feelings instead of the facts? When it comes to love, feelings rule the day. Emotions guide the ship. Goose bumps call the shots. But should they? Can feelings be trusted? Can a relationship feel right but be wrong?
Feelings can fool you. Yesterday I spoke with a teenage girl who is puzzled by the lack of feelings she has for a guy. Before they started dating, she was wild about him. The minute he showed interest in her, however, she lost interest.
I’m thinking also of a young mom. Being a parent isn’t as romantic as she anticipated. Diapers and midnight feedings aren’t any fun, and she’s feeling guilty because they aren’t. Am I low on love? she wonders.
How do you answer such questions? Ever wish you had a way to assess the quality of your affection? A DNA test for love? Paul offers us one: “Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth” (1 Corinthians 13:6). In this verse lies a test for love.
Want to separate the fake from the factual, the counterfeit from the real thing? Want to know if what you feel is genuine love? Ask yourself this:
Do I encourage this person to do what is right? For true love “takes no pleasure in other people’s sins but delights in the truth” (1 Corinthians 13:6, JB).
If you find yourself prompting evil in others, heed the alarm. This is not love. And if others prompt evil in you, be alert.
Here’s an example. A classic one. A young couple are on a date. His affection goes beyond her comfort zone. She resists. But he tries to persuade her with the oldest line in the book: “But I love you. I just want to be near you. If you loved me …”
That siren you hear? It’s the phony-love detector. This guy doesn’t love her. He may love having sex with her. He may love her body. He may love boasting to his buddies about his conquest. But he doesn’t love her. True love will never ask the “beloved” to do what he or she thinks is wrong.
Love doesn’t tear down the convictions of others. Quite the contrary.
“Love builds up” (1 Corinthians 8:1)
“Whoever loves a brother or sister lives in the light and will not cause anyone to stumble” (1 John 2:10)
“You are sinning against Christ when you sin against other Christians by encouraging them to do something they believe is wrong” (1 Corinthians 8:12, NLT)
Do you want to know if your love for someone is true? If your friendship is genuine? Ask yourself: Do I influence this person to do what is right?
From A Love Worth Giving
Copyright (Thomas Nelson, 2002) Max Lucado
Used by permission
Question: As Valentine’s Day approaches, what concerns are on your mind? Feel free to contact an online mentor to talk.
About the Author: Max Lucado
Well Bro. Rufus I understand that you want some explanations about this.
Facts and feelings are quite the opposite. Feelings will interpret love by outside influence which are opinions of other people and past. Fact will interpret love by inner influence of convictions and character and faith in the Word of God. Feelings change all the time but the Word of God stays the same. I hope I explain it right. Does anybody else has a better definition?
Yes, the analysis is true. Please explain more to convict to prove a particular person who needs this clarification.
Thanks Max, I needed that reminder. Do I influence the people that I rub shoulders with every day to do right? Yesterday I was able to facilitate a group of people needing to get to the Vancouver airport to catch their plane to Brazil. They were heading out on a three week short-term mission. Facilitating this group meant that I had to get up at three o’clock in the morning and go to their separate addresses to pick them up and get them to their flight on time. I did my part so that they could do their part — and God made it happen.