Chat With God
How can we pray for you today?
He was with me when I admitted, “I’m just tired, you know?”
“I can give you rest,” was his reply – spoken almost as simply as I had spoken of my tiredness. It’s that easy, huh? Everything seems easy with him. The response irritates me because I know I have not gone to him for rest. It’s his only condition – that I go to him.
“You worry.”
“Not really.”
He disagrees. “Sometimes.”
I do worry occasionally. Its as if he hears my thoughts when he says, “Throw all your problems at me.” I can hear a note of compassion in his voice, like he really does care, but I can’t help it when my jaw tightens. The whole thing just irritates me. He’s got this perfect solution to every problem and he even knows my problems better than I do. Do you know how humiliating that is?
It’s quiet for a bit before he goes at it again, annoyingly persistent. “You feel alone, too.” I shoot him a dirty look before he continues, “But you know I will never leave you or forsake you.”
“Stop. Ok? Just stop. I don’t want it anymore.”
“You don’t want it? Or you feel like you can’t do it?”
“I can’t. I just – I can’t meet your standard, you know? Perfection? Like the perfect Christian man standard that everyone throws around, it’s just not me. I guess I’m not cut out for it.”
“It’s not about you.” That one hits home. “My grace is all you need, for my power is made perfect in your weakness.”
Great. My weakness. Rub it in. “Yeah, you know what? I am weak. I suck. Ok? Happy?”
“No. I made you and – ” he slows down and looks at me – “I love you.”
I don’t make eye contact now. It’s awkward. Not because of his insincerity, or even the timing, it’s just that I feel like the bad guy. Here I am pushing when he just wants to be my friend.
“I – I can’t do it.”
“With my strength, you can do all things.”
“No you don’t get it. I’m not able.”
“But I am. And I will bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work.”
“I don’t believe you.”
“But you want to.”
“I do. It’s just… impossible.”
“No it isn’t. You know who I am.” Silence. “Nothing is impossible for me.”
What do I say to that? It’s the ultimate trump card. “Well that’s great. Good for you. What about me? I have decisions to…”
I persist. “I’m not smart enough to even know if…”
And He has. I haven’t forgotten where I used to be. I try again. “You ask too much! I can’t manage all…”
“I will supply all your needs.”
He has. He has done it all, right from the beginning. I feel a terrible pressure around my neck and shoulders and in my gut as I realize I can’t forgive myself for this – again.
I rest a moment to reflect on these truths. The dialogue never really ends.
@ Esther, your comment kind of amazed me as when I was growing up I knew I was a very smart kid however during my childhood years they had no idea what ADD was which is what I had. Failure and I got along very well during my childhood years and even into my adult life!! I have failed at many things in life.. but you know what? Failure is part of success because if I prayed for God to not to allow me fail again then I would never grow as it is through our failures we grow.
All twelve disciplines failed Christ on the cross as they fled and even denied him! It was as a result of repentance and allowing the Holy Spirit to guide their lives that they became free. If you ask God to never allow you to fail again you will have a miserable life as we all fall down in our lives. I mean this in no disrespectful way as sometimes we have to embrace failure to achieve growth. God Bless
I feel rejected right now due to what just happen to me. I fail a university required course, and I am in my final year. Although its and zero unit course, but I did nt expect to fail the course. Right now I feel so depressed. And people I call my friends seems to be exited with it. I just want you to help me speak to God on my behave. I had a similar dream consigning the failure and I prayed about it, pleses speak to God on my behalf that he should never let ?i?????? experience failure again, in my examinations and every area of my life in Jesus name…Amen
Ashley, you ask some great questions. Do you believe in Jesus? He wants you to have a wonderful, full life with Him a big part of it – actually He wants to be the Centre of your life. He created you and He loves you, and He wants you to invite Him into your life as Saviour and Lord. Then He can guide you to make decisions in life that are best for you, and that will lead you to live forever with Him.
Hey i wanted to know if the world will end if yes u won’t get to let others have a life like babies and me i am only 10 and i want to have a good life with someone who loves me and cares for me
What a great devotional. Its so true. Most of us have probably had this conversation at one time or another. Good Work! Sorry Jim, can’t agree with your comment. The phrase ‘I suck’ is not intended to be vulgar, its a common idiom these days and while other phrases may be more genteel, this one is simply reflects the vernacular of the day, just as thee, thou and thy were common in the vernacular of centuries ago.
Thank you so much for this post! Jesus we love You so much, please forgive us for being dirty, weak and doubtful! We trust in You, and we surrender totally to You, we are Yours forever, Amen!
This is beautiful & made me cry. He’s so good.
Wow Eric! That’s a good one. That is not a one day devotional, but as you say, it never ends. Thanks!
This is exactly how I feel.Daily. thank god for these eye openers.I was blind but now I see.
I have been a subscriber to your daily devotionals for several years and have always enjoyed them, until today! In your comments, you use the term: “I suck” which is leaning toward the trend of today’s generation which is almost vilgar. I desire that you examine the phrase in the body of today’s devotional and see if you agree that this is a poor choice of words? Phrases of this type is almost totally acceptable in today’s conversation but I take exception to the use in this devotional. I challenge you to view the body of this message and see if you agree with me?
Thank you so much for this, Eric. You really challenged me to stop making my relationship with Jesus all about me, and to focus, instead, on the Truth that it is all about Him! Thanks again for this; I really needed it!