Anger and Forgiveness
How do you respond to conflicts? Is there a better way?
“Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.” (Ephesians 4:27)
Anger is a natural human emotion that is sometimes necessary and appropriate. Even Jesus became angry when confronted with the moneychangers in the temple: “And Jesus entered the temple and drove out all those who were buying and selling in the temple, and overturned the tables of the moneychangers and the seats of those who were selling doves” (Matthew 21:12)
Righteous indignation is an appropriate response to evil, but God does not intend that anger should rule our lives. Far from it – God intends that we turn away from anger whenever possible and forgive our neighbors as quickly as we can find it in our hearts to do so.
Life is full of frustrations, some great and some small. On occasion, we, like Jesus, will confront evil. When we do we may respond as He did: vigorously and without reservation. But more often than not, our frustrations will be of the more mundane variety. As long as we live here on earth, we will face countless opportunities to lose our temper over small, relatively insignificant events: a traffic jam, a spilled cup of coffee, an inconsiderate comment, or a broken promise.
Some of us will create thoughts of revenge and God asks us not to take revenge but leave it up to Him:
- “…for it is written: Revenge is mine; I will repay, says the Lord” (Romans 12:19).
- “If your enemy is hungry feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this we will heap burning coals upon his head…” (Proverbs 25:21,22)
- “Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live in peace with everyone.” (Romans 12: 17-18)
If we have thoughts of doing evil to one another we must ask the Lord for forgiveness and take action on these thoughts. Angry words are dangerous to our emotional and spiritual health, not to mention our relationships. So treat anger as an uninvited guest, and usher it away as quickly – and as quietly – as possible. Life is too short to spend it being angry, bored, or dull.
“Anger breeds remorse in the heart, discord in the home, bitterness in the community, and confusion in the state.” (Billy Graham)
Dear Lord,
Forgive me and help me to turn away from angry thoughts. Help me always to use Jesus as my guide for life, and let me trust His promises today and forever. Because You have given Your children free will, the world is a place where evil threatens our lives and our spirits. Protect us, O God, from the evils and temptations to take revenge on our own. Amen.
Question: Do you let anger control you? Let’s ask God to heal us.
11 Responses to “Anger and Forgiveness”
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To Louise, to wake up every morning and have ‘the rage around you like a blanket’ must be a very suffocating feeling. You say someone told you “God fits the burden to the shoulders”…read the Prayer of Jebez. His prayer was asking the LORD to “INCREASE HIS TERRITORY”. Perhaps this is what God is doing for you…trying to stretch you into a bigger heart (shouldhers) i know it doesn’t feel good when He does this yet i assure you…as we cooperate, the burden gets smaller. God doesn’t want us to give others that much power over us. My son completely ignored me this Mother’s Day. His goal was to hurt me and have me react in anger and tears. i didn’t give him the power. i took a long walk to the park and gave it all over to the LORD. i’m sure my son is bewildered at this point b/c he was unsuccessful to push my buttons. i accepted his non action as being his choice,forgave him and asked God to shed His light of Grace all over him. Just like Joseph in the Bible whose brothers did such hateful and hurtful things to him, Joseph bided his time and in the end lavished only forgivness, help and love on his enemy brothers. We need to pray and ask to be more like Joseph. Please ask God to “increase your territory”. ~Hug
Thanks for being so honest Louise! Sometimes the situations hurts so much that it is hard to let go. But remember that you need to just keep giving it back to God and let Him deal with it. So often we lay it at His feet and then turn around and pick it back up again and carry it off. Just keep giving it back.
Part of this also includes asking God to fill us, control and empower us by His Holy Spirit. This article explains more about what is involved in that http://powertochange.com/experience/spiritual-growth/start/ Why don’t you check it out.
Thank you all so much. I know that I will come out on the other side of this. Kim, when you say that it met you right on that morning, what did you mean? that you are in the same situation? and that you find it hard to let go of the anger? Heres another thing that Im just not getting at this stage. 9 out of 10 times throughout my life, god hears me. puts things right so to speak. He certainly cant want me to be eaten up with fury, is for sure. But this time, no matter how much I have asked for this to be lifted from me…..nada. I still wake every day with rage wrapped aroound me like a blanket. I cant for the life of me see anything positive and good in the whole rotten business / if I could, It would go some way to my letting it go. They say god makes the load to fit the shoulders. Well me and my god are usually pretty tight, but I think he has someone elses measurements this time! please keep me in your prayers, I really appreciate the support. {I probably need therapy but cant face it or afford it at this time.}My local priest doesnt speak english and this whole sorry business doesnt translate well enough for him to help me {I dont really know what he would make of this demented raging woman begging for deliverance. Probably call emergency services!!!}
Dear Trisha and Louise,
Thank you for having the courage to share. As you mentioned Trisha, Satan will take any foothold he can get and then will keep wedging the hurt deeper and wider, BUT only if we let him. I have found the very same strategy, repeating aloud that I choose to forgive those who have wronged me is very important. It is like when Jesus spoke aloud and said, “Get thee behind me Satan.” What we say really matters. Remember, God brought the world into being by speaking. Let’s use our mouths, our lips, our voices to bring GLORY to God… and every time we forgive, based on how much it cost Jesus to pay the price for the sins of all humanity, not based on how we feel, that brings glory to God!
There is a great teaching by James MacDonald called “Have the Funeral” about forgiveness, if you can get your hands on it. It is so important that forgiving is not the same as excusing. If something were ‘just a mistake’ we could excuse it, but the fact that it is WRONG is what means we must forgive it. We forgive and then increase our faith in our heavenly Father that He will deal with it and the person, and work ALL things together for our good. With Him alone is this possible!
With love in Christ,
Kate
To Louise, i SO understand what you are going through! My older sister testified AGAINST me in court. My son then went without his father. She did it for very selfish reasons but hurt so many people in the process. i couldn’t even look at her or talk to her for 7 yrs! The hatred i had for her manifested into gall stones so when Doris talks about “eating the poison” wow…this is right on! Even after the 7 yrs, i really did try to be around her again but things were never the same again. God helped me to forgive her and there were times i had to say it OUTLOUD that i forgive her b/c the enemy wanted me to hold on to the hurt. i believe when someone hurts us SO bad, oh yes, we can work on the forgivness yet being around that person is almost impossible.What they did is like branded to your soul. My sister and i no longer communicate and the sadest thing of all was she never did apologize and mean it! My prayers go out to you today! ~HUG
Thank you Doris, for your kind thoughts and the story you linked to it. I know I have to let it go. It is sooo time consuming and energy sapping to be bitter and angry {not to mention bad for the face and at my age I dont need anything else dragging my face south}and I know I will get there. Its just so hard. I really wish I could see why he would have chosen to behave that way { apart from his nbd condition {undiagnosed but the traits are there} I have heard the metaphore of the rat poision before and I know all this to be true. I really cant see myself making any gifts to him as tokens of my forgiveness just yet. But here is hoping that this horrible feeling will pass. thank you again for your kindness.
Thanks to each of you ladies for taking the time to comment on this devotional. One of the most difficult things to deal with in our lives is the issue of forgiveness.
Louise, my heart goes out to you because of the hurt that you are going through. Someone once told me that unforgiveness is like eating rat poison and expecting the rat to die. I know you probably already know that but the anger that you are holding on to is eating you up, not the other person. We have a great true story here on the site of another woman that had to deal with incredible suffering…read her story here http://powertochange.com/discover/faith/jdekroon/
Just one more thing, you said that you are trying and can’t do it on your own. I don’t think any of us can forgive on our own. It’s only as I understand the enormity of what God forgave me through the death of His son Jesus on the cross that I can even begin to forgive others. Ask Him to help You forgive in His strength, not your own.
We do have online mentors that would love to walk the journey with you. Just fill in the form on this page and one of them will email you. http://powertochange.com/discover/talk-to-a-mentor/
Thank you. What a humbling/ challenging, convicting and ‘uncomfortable’ reminder… but I have recently been struggling with this. Healing from past huts, living with family, work, etc. There are days I am constantly angry, and I know it is toxic. Thank you for reminding us to take it to the Lord. God, have mercy on me! Help us to become who You want us to be. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.
i’ve heard we are born eith angry or with a sunny disposition. i fall into the angry category. i’m just angry period. i’m always angry about something. People have actually told me they would not want me to be their enemy. When i was much younger i made sure everyone got back what ever they did to me. i guess it’s coming back around on me in my later years and God is letting me know what the other people felt like. i’ve repented but i must tell you…doing things the LORD’s way is REALLY hard for me. i have asked the LORD to forgive me as well as heal me from always being mad.
This is some good stuff….Met me right where I was this morning…Thank you for this…
I have a real tough time with this. I know that the anger and absolute rage that I feel towards the man who tortured me only rips me to bits. I find myself asking god to wreak chaos and misery on him. I absolutely cannot forgive him at this stage. I know the theory of cause and effect {and my catholic guilt will never let me go, which made it all the easier for him to blame me for his vile actions} and find myself praying for him to get his karma!! I want to offer it up and move on but the devastation of this situation is with me every day. Im trying.