When Roses Do Not Come
If Mother’s Day is a challenging day for you, come talk to a mentor.
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest… rest for your souls.” (Matthew 11:28 & 29b)
It was Sunday morning, Mother’s Day. As the Woman’s Pastor, I was greeting women at the back of the church.
One woman took my hand and blinked back a tear, as she told me how hard this day is for her, as she had never been able to have a baby of her own. Another hugged me and thanked me for praying for those who hurt on this day. Her grown kids never call and her heart ached. Another missed her Mom who had died. Another longed for her child who was gone.
One told me she wouldn’t be there. She believes she has failed as a mother and the feelings are too hard to face, so she ignores the day. Still another gave me a long silent hug… no words. We had walked together for a piece on the road of post-abortion.
Mother’s Day is heralded far and wide and it is a wonderful celebration. Sunday brunches, roses by the dozen, spa day specials and breakfast in bed all help set aside the day to honor mothers.
Yet for so many it is a day of unspoken pain.
But there is a place for you even when the roses don’t come and when you feel there is no place at the brunch. There is a special invitation just for you… listen… it comes from the heart of your Father God, spoken by His son Jesus…
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest… rest for your souls.” (Matthew 11:28 & 29b)
The invitation is for those who have pain within their soul. It’s for those who are burdened down and weary, and those for whom Mother’s Day hurts.
How do you claim this rest when your soul is in pain? You reply to His invitation.
If your heart hurts this Mother’s Day, there are some things you can do as you look to God to bring rest to your soul.
Symbolic gestures can be helpful in bringing healing. As you have asked God to bring you comfort, consider some tangible action as you focus on Him, your helper and your healer.
- If you have lost a child by miscarriage, death or abortion, consider planting a rose bush or a flowerbed in memory of that special little life.
- If you are missing your own Mom who is gone, or filled with regret for what you did not have with her when she was alive, take a potted plant to a nursing home. Brighten some elderly mother’s lonely day and let her know she is cared about.
- If your arms long for the child you never had, ask God to begin to heal your heart and to help you reach out to some child who is starved for the love you have to give. This takes time. Be gentle with yourself and run often to the Father for His continued healing.
- If relationships are strained or cut off, ask God to show you how to begin rebuilding. Go slow and ask for His direction. It may be time to think about sending a simple, “I’m thinking of you” card.
- Choose not to spend the day alone. If you can, invite a friend to have a coffee in the park or to sit on your step and drink iced tea on Mother’s Day.
Our Father God desires for your heart to be whole and healed and to give you rest for your soul. He always pulls us upward and onward. It will take time, but with your hand in His, He will enable you to move forward.
If you are stuck on inward and downward, talk to a trusted friend, pray together, and get counsel if necessary.
God waits with open arms to comfort you. His desire for you is to heal your broken heart. Let this Mother’s Day be different. Accept His invitation and begin the journey from pain to promise and find rest for your soul.
Prayer of Action:
Father God,
My heart hurts with unspoken pain. I need Your help to just get through this Mother’s Day. I need Your comfort, Your strength and even Your forgiveness for the times I have blamed You for my hurt. Today I give you the empty spaces in my soul. I give you my pain and I ask You to bring Your healing to my damaged emotions and to my life. Thank you for the promise of rest for my weary soul. I lean on you today.
In Jesus’ name, Amen.
Questions: How do you feel as Mother’s Day approaches? How does today’s verse speak to your situation?
6 Responses to “When Roses Do Not Come”
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Like Trisha, felicitas, Shawna, Francine, and kahu, your article really touched my heart, Gail. This is the first Mother’s Day I will be spending without my mother here with my husband and I, who passed away in March. The Scripture verse you used reminds me that I can honour her by spending time with Jesus, with Whom she also now will be celebrating. My husband and I are also going to invite a neighbour to dinner whose children are all living in another province. Your devotional taught me that I can do something this Mother’s Day other than be sad, and it reminded me that I have much to be thankful for – including a sister who is a wonderful mom and whom I want to honour!
Thanks so much for helping to take the focus off of me and put it where it belongs: on God and all He has given me. Truly, you are a blessing!
Thank you for this one Gail. My 41 yr old only son suffers from bipolor disorder and it’s always someone else’s fault why his life is the way it is. Although i brought him up Christian and he was saved and baptized at 12, somewhere along the way he turned away from Jesus. His endless mocking of my faith and Bible belief caused me to finally stop all communications. All we did was argue. It’s been over a year since we’ve spoken (we both live in difft states) and i haven’t gotten a Mother’s Day card in the mail yet. i’m preparing myself for it not coming as he knows how much those cards mean to me. If he plans on hurting me, this is what he knows will. Everyone always tells me what a good person he is and how i did such a good job raising him on my own and yet this son of mine knows how to produce grief in his mother. i’ve gone to classes about the disorder and now have a better grasp on what it’s like for him so, if i don’t get the card, i have to understand it was his choice not to send it yet it’s my choice to give him the power to hurt me. God bless.
Thank you – Although I have a daughter and grandchild I raised and whom honor me – God pricked my heart at your first suggestion of planting a rose bush or something as a memorial for an aborted child – oh yes 39 years ago and I will now plant that memorial thank you – you have been a blessing.
Thank you for this devotional. I too struggle with Mother’s Day. As the mother of two adult children that I consider having good relationships with, this holiday always seems to come and go without much, if any, recognition of it from my two daughters, both of which are mothers themselves. I recently shared this with my pastor who reinforced my knowledge that I am significant in God’s eyes in so much as he sent his son to die for me and because of that I don’t need others approval to love them. He went onto to share that because of Christ’s love within me I was free to love THEM. It was like a light bulb went off in my head. I realized I was looking inward instead of looking outward. I needed to affirm them as mothers and not worry about myself. I went to the card store and bought cards for my 2 daughters, my husband’s 2 daughters and my niece and sent them. And I plan on spending the day with my mom affirming her. If my daughters choose to affirm me…great but if they don’t I know I am loved and free to love others.
I miss my mother especially on Mothers Day…
Thank you for this article, it reminds me that I am not alone. I’ve been praying and fasting this whole week, which works to strengthen me through hard times. Again thank you