My Name Should Have Been Martha
Busy or fruitful – can you tell the difference?
“Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.” (Luke 10:41-42)
Recently, we celebrated Easter. Most of us likely spent it with family. Some families get along great while others can’t go a holiday without bickering and showing some impressive differences in personality. Luke tells a story of a typical family with two sisters who couldn’t have been more different: Mary and Martha. (Their brother Lazarus is the one who Jesus raised from the dead.)
Luke 10 gives a little glimpse into their lives. Martha was the “responsible” sister, who was on the ball and worked her tail off to make sure everything was ready when Jesus came to stay. I totally get Martha. I relate to her. She and I would’ve been good friends if I’d lived 2,000 years ago.
And then there’s Mary: the free spirit. The lover/peacemaker. The one who might be prone to wandering off because she’s marveling at nature. She’s the one I don’t understand one bit, because to me—at first glance—she was lazy.
I mean, hello! There were things to be done and all she was doing was sitting “at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said”. (Luke 10:39b) Meanwhile, Martha was running around like a chicken with her head cut off. In my mind, I can see the feathers flapping and flying as she races around the kitchen.
But here’s the thing. Even though Martha’s intentions were good, even though she was taking care of others and serving them, Jesus told her that “Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.” (Luke 10:42b)
Uh…what?
That’s right. Mary chose what was better. Jesus also told Martha these wise words, “[Y]ou are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one.” (Luke 10:41b-42a) That “one” thing that’s needed is Jesus.
It’s so, so easy for us to get wrapped up in all that we have to do. Our lives are full of “doing.” Much of the time, the activities that fill our day are intended to lift others up and serve the Lord. And that, in and of itself, is not a bad thing. What is bad is when the “doing” outweighs—or altogether obliterates—the time spent praying, seeking God’s face, listening to what He has to say.
Father, Remind me that time with you is not a duty or even an item to be checked of my to do list. Time with you is a gift. Help me to honor that and to come and be still before You. I want to hear what You have to say.
Question: Have you ever struggled with being a Martha? If so, what could you do to be more like Mary in your everyday life?
27 Responses to “My Name Should Have Been Martha”
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Kim, I’d challenge you to take a look at WHY perfection at work is important to you. See if you can be really honest with yourself. It is that you like being the one who’s right? Does your experience make you feel valuable? Do you feel threatened by the idea of a new person working at your level? Is it your position as a senior staff person that you’re trying to protect? Does it seem like the new people don’t understand the importance of being careful and correct? Do you worry that you’ll lose your job if someone else can do what you do? Are you angry that you were held to a certain standard as a child and now that you’re the adult other people don’t have to do the work that you had to do?
There is something, some need or fear that is driving your choice to act in this way. If you can figure out what it is that you’re trying to protect it can help you figure out a healthier way to deal with it. Chances are good that if you’ve been doing what you do for 22 years then you have a skill set and base of knowledge that is irreplaceable. No new hire could ever take that away from you. Training them up to do excellent work isn’t a threat to you, it’s a credit to you.
If you can, give yourself an uninterrupted hour, or half hour even, with a journal and a cup of tea or coffee and take a good look at things. Remind yourself that you’re not here to judge yourself or beat yourself up, but rather to see what is actually happening so you can make healthy changes. How do you feel when you tell someone that they’ve done something wrong? How are you treated before and after it happens? Are you well liked at work? Do you feel happy when you correct a co-worker? Do you feel happy or victorious or maybe superior when you catch another’s mistake? How much energy are you spending encouraging others at your work place? How much energy are you spending correcting them? If I was to call your office and ask three people to describe you, what would they say?
It may be that you’re impatient with people at work because you’re carrying a great deal of stress from working in a business that it literally, life and death. You deal with people all the time who are grieving and need to be treated very carefully. Perhaps you need a little more care yourself – you could be stretched really thin which is leaving you with no patience left over for people who can’t file correctly or do what they’re asked to do.
Ask God to show you the root of the issue and thank Him for loving you no matter what. Ask Him to soften your heart if that’s what needed, or ask for some relief if you need to be able to work a little less. Bring this to Him and He will walk through it with you. You never have to fight alone. The fact that you want to act differently is an excellent first step. Step 2 involves prayer and some introspection so you’ll know what step 3 is.
Oh Kim, I think we all have struggles! I tend to prefer individual projects rather than group projects because it can be difficult to rely on others…it’s a learning process for sure!
I am definitely a Martha. In our business it is an asset ( funeral home owner ). I love serving people, being there to help everything go smoothly. But, I also have a full time job outside the family business and that is where I struggle!! I have worked with eye doctors for 22 years and I have struggled with new employees coming in and not working to my standards..I am a perfectionist (I think it stems from the “do it right or you will do it again” part of my childhood…:( I have a tendency to take the attitude of get out of my way if you aren’t going to do the job the way we do it….so my struggle is when I get home and beat myself up for being such a snot!! How can I consider the funeral home job a ministry and be soooo impatient with other co- workers??? It breaks my heart really!!
Lori, I haven’t done much with my Kindle Fire yet, but I’m sure it’ll take some getting used to! :) So glad you enjoyed this devotional and the comments. I’ve loved reading everyone’s responses as well!
Amen….Rosanne… I am now also a more content Mary…In addition to what you wrote…I also pray for Gods discernment and wisdom and for His insight in all areas. He has made my life simple..yet richer than it has ever been. I praise Him for the many many blessings He has given my family and myself…..I am writing from my new kindle fire…..I agree and really love this thing. The Bible apps are wonderful and devotionals as well. Bless you all. I sure enjoyed this devotional and all the comments and answers….I need to perfectmy keyboard skills…haven’t found all the punctuation yet. Lori
Cathy, that’s a tough situation. I would say, first, pray about it. Then, just speak honestly about your situation. Let her gently know that you can’t cover all of her duties plus everything else you’ve got going on. Just because you’re retired doesn’t mean you don’t have other things going on in your life. Just gently explain what you are willing to do and perhaps find others who can help with the rest? Praying you find a good solution!
Lillian, you’re so right about the little things falling into place. I’ve learned that too. Still, in the moment, it can be hard to remember it!
Thank you for the lovely devotion reminding us, Marthas we need to sit as the feet of Jesus first. I have learned that then the little details will fall into place better. I am trying to learn to allow Jesus to orchestrate my day. Thanks again.
I ‘m planning to get me a Kindle too. Can I keep it real here??
I ‘m My first Lady’s assistant, now she works a a full time job and I’m retired now. There are a lot of things that as 1st lady she needs to get done which I cover her back. I’m communication committee chair@ church. how do you say NO with out hurting feelings ???
Cathy, it’s so easy to do! You’re not alone!
Susan, that’s such a great idea. I just got a Kindle Fire, so I’ll have to do the same thing. Thanks for the suggestion!
Carol, I know, I know! But we can fight the busyness. I tend to get so overwhelmed when I think of everything I have to do…and tend to leave God out of it, or say I’ll spend time with Him later. Not good! Priorities, priorities.
Thanks, everyone, for your comments! You’ve encouraged me so much!
Thank you. It is always good to be reminded to think of the important parts of life. We get so material and forget to be still.
I too am a lot like Martha – always busy. The best thing that happened to me is that I got a Kindle Fire as a gift. One of the first items I loaded on it was a copy of the Bible. Now every morning when I awake and every evening before I go to sleep, I read passages then pray. I am making time to stay close to Jesus – I am much more content and still getting everything I need accomplished.
This is sooo me, sometimes I get caught up in the work for The MasterH
This is sooo me, somtimes I get caught up in the work for The MasterH
Rosanne, that’s so wonderful that you have taken the initiative to prioritize your life and remember what’s important. You’re an inspiration to us all!
I must say that I have very much struggled with being a ‘Martha.’ I have a very good job and I, like others, wanted to impress others with what I could do and I wanted to make sure everything was perfect with every event that I planned so that everyone could see my skills. The problem was that it was never good enough for those ‘others.’ Why was I working so hard? I was putting my health at risk worrying about making things perfect, for what?
I had to evaluate what was really important and that is my life, my family, and my relationships with people. Working for the sake of others’ egos was not what I needed to put as a priority. My point is that, as Christians, our “doing” and “busyness” must be appropriated according to the Spirit’s moving, not Man’s.
Praise the Lord that I am now prioritizing my life even though others may not understand.
Hedy, that’s OK! I’m definitely a work in progress myself. :)
DiAne, thank you so much for your comment! You blessed me so much with it.
“A life too busy is often a powerless life.” Such truth.
Cathy, I’m with you, girlfriend! I’ve tried setting aside just 15 minutes in the middle of my day (on my lunch break at work) to get quiet, read a mini devotional or verse, and listen. It’s been so nice to just slow down and meditate on God. I hope to increase it slowly to more time or more frequency, but for now, I know God sees my willingness. God bless you as you simplify!
CeCe, such beautiful truth! I think that Satan wants us to be distracted by all the things going on in the world, and how much there is to do. We get so distracted that we forget why we’re doing it…and for whom we do it. We forget to spend time with our Lord, and THAT does not bring peace. I’m so guilty of this, but God doesn’t see our guilt. Every day, like you said, He nudges me again to come sit at His feet and soak up His wisdom.
Jenny, I can definitely see how you would feel this way. Our society is such a busy one, with the constant pressure to go, go, go. I naturally push myself, but I realize not everyone is like me. And that’s OK. In fact, like I said in the article, God calls us to be Marys. Marys like you help to remind me that life is a gift and should be savored. People are important. Sitting before God, soaking in LIFE is important. I think you’ve got the right idea!
Brenda, I’m so with you. I suffer from migraines and I hate how debilitating they are. And yet…they give me an opportunity to rely on Him. They help me to see that God wants my HEART. Like you said, He wants to draw me near to Himself. He’s not as interested in WHAT I do, but the motive behind it. God bless you!
I to fought/fight to understand the Martha/Mary concepted.It`s one of the hardest lessons I`ve had to learn. I guess I would have to say”it`s a work in progress”
Lindsay, I’ve struggled with the “Martha” complex most of my adult life and I believe it’s one of Satan’s slickest tricks, to get active women too busy, and you know the rest of the story. We fall into a pattern that is not easily broken. Deceived and exhausted.I have often felt like a hamster on a havi-trail. You know, the faster I ran the behinder I got. At the end of the day I fell into bed, exhausted, and muttered a few words to my Father before sleep crept over me like a shroud.
But like everything else in our walk with the Lord Jesus, it’s a choice. We must deliberately choose – every moment of every day, and that’s not easy – will we do or will we be? Do those zillions of things screaming for attention or be obedient to the cry within our heart to know Him and the power of His resurrection. A life too busy is often a powerless life.
DiAne Gates
Perfect! Thank you for the reminder that Marthas (like me) can burn out! I acknowledge my business and yearn for simplicity! I try sooooo hard too sttay decluttered! Its always a work in progress.
I sooooooo relate to being a Martha! I don’t know how to be any other way because, after all if I don’t do the stuff… who will? But I have been hearing the Holy Spirit nudging me everyday lately whispering to me…”Rest in the peace of God that is beyond all of your understanding. To get this peace you need to just stop. You won’t understand. Just let the Lord minister to your heart in stillness and that will be enough”. I weep now as I know that this is still a struggle… then once I do it… the guilt wrestles with my mind to take my peace… but as I wait… in stillness peace prevails.
Actually, I have the opposite struggle. I am more of a Mary, and I think this world expects us as women to be Marthas. I want to sit and visit with people, but I end up with all of this guilt that someone else is doing all the work and they will think I am lazy. My struggle is against the world (and my mother-in-law)and what it expects from me. I feel like I am always fighting against my Mary to do all of the things that other women do.
In the past several years of my life, I have struggled to try to be more like Martha, and to not FEEL lazy because of having fibromyalgia and other chronic pain issues, including osteo- and rheumatiod arthritis and migraine headaches, which leave me unable to do the Martha duties I would like to do much of the time. Praise be to God, He has drawn me to Himself and shown me that I am okay just as I am, and that what I can contribute is okay, and there are other ways to show love and to give than physical labour. If not for the love and acceptance of Jesus, I would have fallen prey to comparing myself to others around me who keep seemingly “perfect” homes, and I would have remained in a place of self-hatred, not understanding why I could not be more like them, and trying to be more like them. Instead, I am learning to soak in His Presence and Word every day, and to “Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted [me], in order to bring praise to God [Romans 15:7, NIV].” This has helped me to overcome self-hatred and to grow to love myself and reach out to others in ways that God has gifted me to be able to do and know that I am worthy because of His righteousness, not because of anything I can do or not do.
Thanks for reminding me that Jesus is the One Who gives us our significance, not our work or any other thing, Lindsay.