How Do I Say Good-Bye?
Pastor Glenn’s sermon on the death of his wife is one of the most beautiful meditations on grief I have ever seen.
“When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.” (Isaiah 43:2)
I recently lost Mom. In the days after her death the tears ran down my cheeks in never-ending rivers. Congestion choked off my breathing and rage threatened to overwhelm me. I cried out to Jesus, “Why can’t I just be calm?”
I thought I had peace in my heart about my Mom’s impending death. She was sick, very sick, and I knew what was coming. But now that her death was a reality there seemed to be no end to the waves of anxiety, depression, rage, despair, agitation, frustration, and every other emotion but peace rushing at me. I had so much faith in God and I had not wanted my beloved mother to suffer. I could not understand why I was so angry.
Then one day my pastor called to ask me how I was doing, and I honestly shared the truth with him. He prayed that I would allow the Holy Spirit to comfort me in my grieving, and that I would find the acceptance of the truth that my mother was now experiencing the glory of our Lord Jesus Christ.
That is when it hit me: I was angry at God because while I wanted Mom to stop suffering, I had wanted her to stop suffering here! The Lord had not done things my way, and so I did not accept her death. I was in denial, and the rage I was experiencing prevented me from entering into the loving arms of my Savior. I needed to surrender my emotions to Him. Without that surrender, I could not find peace.
Now when I close my eyes and see the beautiful blue eyes of my precious mother and best friend, I let the tears flow. I have allowed them to become the river of tears that I am passing through with Jesus, as I thank Him that my Mom is dancing in His loving arms. She loved to dance. When I picture my Mom’s gentle face, I do not try to block the view even though it’s painful to know I can no longer go and see her. Instead, I give thanks and praise to God that we will embrace again when we He calls me Home to be with Him.
When I am reminded of the softness of her skin, instead of wanting to run and hide, I am grateful for God’s faithfulness in granting my prayer to be with my mother in her dying moment. I thank Him for letting me hold her hand and walk her home where her Abba, Father now strokes her hand and holds her in His everlasting embrace of love forever.
I know I am not finished grieving the loss of my mother’s physical presence. It has only been a few weeks since she left her earthly home to be with her Savior. But I know that as long as I keep bringing my hurts, my joys, my memories, my pain, my trials, my highs, and my lows to my Shepherd, I will not want for anything. He is truly faithful.
Though I may feel overwhelmed, always He is right here to scoop me out of the waters if my face threatens to go beneath the surface. When I feel I am aflame in the rage of an emotional storm He is right here with me to wash me with the waters of His soothing baptism of mercy and compassion.
He is right here to reassure me that I am unconditionally loved and accepted. I am walking in His grace and I do not have to be perfect. I am allowed to feel my way through the anguish of this valley of physical death, even while I celebrate the joy of my Mom’s eternal life. Praise be to God, He promises me, “[I]shall feed [My] flock like a shepherd: [I] shall gather the lambs with [My] arm, and carry them in [My] bosom, and shall gently lead those that are with young.” (Isaiah 40:11, NKJV)
I know that my mother, who was like a gentle lamb, is now in His arms, held tenderly against Jesus’ bosom. He is feeding me on His Word, nourishing and nurturing me through this torrent of emotions.
He assures me every day, whispering in my ears, “Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed.” (Isaiah 54:10)
Praise be to God forever in Christ Jesus our Lord!
Questions: Are you suffering the loss of a loved one? Let the Lord minister His comfort, mercy and compassion to you today through His living word. Do you need to talk to someone about your grief? Share your pain with one of our mentors who care deeply about your loss.
10 Responses to “How Do I Say Good-Bye?”
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Azzi, thank you so much for your kind words; I am thankful that this devotional encouraged you, and, in return, you have greatly encouraged me! We truly have an awesome God, don’t we? I never cease to be amazed at how good and gracious He is in the face of tremendous pain, and how His mercy and tenderness and comfort are sufficient for all situations and circumstances. Thank you for your prayers for me, Azzi, and please know that you are in my prayers, as well. May God richly bless you in every area of your life!
I just want to say thanks so much for this post and for your honesty it has greatly encouraged me, I haven’t lost anyone yet but I have been through great difficulty with other things and sometimes experience those emotions toward God but everyday he is helping me through his word and giving me the strength to get through when there is no more strength in sight, i will be praying for you with all this and I know God will bring you through victoriously. Once again thankyou so much and thanks be to God for everything amazing he does oxxoxi
Priscilla, I am so sorry you lost such a precious life at six months! Yet, you are so right when you say that God is faithful, and He restored your joy threefold by giving you three beautiful daughters to raise and enjoy! Surely, we worship an awesome God, and the only One, True God, in our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ! It is tremendous to know that we will all meet and see Him one day face-to-face! Praise be to God forever! How much higher are His ways than our ways, and His thoughts than our thoughts! Alleluia!
Oh! How I love Jeaus! His Love. Never fails. Losing a loved one is
Very heartbreaking, I have only experience personal loss of my
Stillborn daughter, I carried her in my womb for 6 months, even though
My labor was induced, I delivered her. It was 19 years ago, but I
Remember it like it was yesterday. God is a true deliverer and
Healer, prayer does change things, I thank God for giving me three
Beautiful daughters, 18,16 & 14!!!!!!!!!! With life, comes death,
With God I find comfort knowing He has a heavenly home prepared
For me,yet he is watching over me and my loved ones on earth!
Julie, I am so sorry for your sorrow; I truly understand the depth of your grief, and I am thankful that my words have been able to provide comfort to you at this time. Please know that even if you are not given a vision of your mother, she is in the loving arms of Jesus and you will be reunited with her again in the joy of His Kingdom. I encourage you to seek the face of the Lord and His heart of deep comfort as you grieve, and do not hesitate to pour out your emotions to Jesus, for He cares deeply and tenderly for you [1 Peter 5:7]. Please know that I am praying for you during this time of great sorrow in your life, Julie.
Not that I wish emotional pain on anyone, but it is so comforting to know I’m not alone in grieving my mother. She just passed away very unexpectedly in April. She was 72 years young and lived such a full life; a real role model. I miss her so much my heart aches every day. She left so abrupty, I would LOVE to see her in a vision or a dream. Thank you for reminding me to take comfort in the loving arms of Jesus.
I want to thank each one of you: Sue, Jane, and Kathie, for your beautiful testimonies and words on my devotional. Reading your words, as well as re-reading this devotional, has brought tears to my eyes – tears of missing my Mom, as well as tears of joy that, in writing of her passing, the Lord has allowed me to minister to others who are hurting. God is so good, and I praise Him for all He continues to do in our lives. I believe He truly does catch our every tear in a bottle, as He cares so tenderly for us [You number my wanderings; Put my tears into Your bottle; Are they not in Your book (Psalm 56:8, NKJV)?; Casting the whole of your care [all your anxieties, all your worries, all your concerns, once and for all] on Him, for He cares for you affectionately and cares about you watchfully (1 Peter 1:5, Amplified Bible)].
beautiful. i love those scriptures, they bring you such peace , if only you will accept them from our Father in Heaven. I have a dear friend , grieving now for her precious husband who recently passed and my heart aches for her, for , I too, have been down that road. This story is about a mother,,,,,, If only my daughter could read this, I would pray that it would melt that barrior she has around her and let Jesus work . To God be the glory , I lost my son 24 yrs ago the 24th of June and it was not easy to say GOODBYE< but taking my aching mothers heart to God, I was healed.
Thank you for this… the words are so true for all loved ones. My parents passed many years ago but this still brought tears to my eyes because their passings were difficult for me. I was much younger–I was 9 when my mother left me and 39 when my father passed. Both were devastating, but these words make me think of them in a different life, a better and more peaceful life everafter. Thank you, God.
Thank you for sharing this devotional. I loss my Mother 27 years ago, I was getting ready to graduate when she passed of ovarian cancer at only 54.
For years I mourned her. then this past February 2012 I wAS IN A CAR ACCIDENT. and my mother came to me looking BETTER then I had EVER seen her, she looked healthy and happier then she ever did on this earth and as much as I miss her, Im glad GOD allowed me to see her, It healed my broken heart of having to live here without her. and sadly I didnt believe GOD healed my mother, But after that accident..I KNOW HE DID> I have thanked God for the accident, I only suffered whip lash but I could of died when the car hit atree to stop the spinning of my car.( I would of drove over an embankment without the tree there) I walked away from that accident with PURE SERENITY..