Subscribe 
Conflict is Normal
Wednesday September 19, 2012
My mother would often say, “If we were the same, one of us would not be necessary.” Two people who are different have the wonderful potential of complementing each other but also having some level of conflict. Conflict is normal and can be very productive. Couples miss out on the benefits of conflict by either being too passive or being too aggressive. A common pattern of conflict mismanagement is to either withdraw or attack. Learn to engage in a positive way. You engage when you trust the other person and depth of the relationship to handle the conflict. So go have a “good” fight!
Evaluate as a couple Do you withdraw or become aggressive?
Explore What would it look like if you were to engage in conflict in a positive way?
Decide together When you see the conflict cloud gathering decide to neither run nor get aggressive. ASK “What’s a win/win solution for this issue?”
REMEMBER Constructive conflict is solution focused and not person focused and can build depth into any relationship.
“The mind of the wise makes their speech insightful and enhances the teaching of their lips. Pleasant words are flowing honey, sweet to the taste and healing to the bones.”
- Proverb of Solomon (Proverbs 16: 23-24 CEB)
Talk to a Mentor
Need Prayer?
Join Chat
Life Lessons
1-800-247-3180 | 604-514-2135
Great post Mike!
My wife and I are generally passive when it comes to conflict, so we’ve had to learn how to take initiative and fight.
She wrote a blog post reflecting on “How to Fight Fairly with your Spouse”. If any of you are interested in reading it, here’s the link: http://timandolive.com/how-to-fight-fairly/
I love that quote from your mother Mike! My husband and I say it all the time, probably because we are so different and if there are two ways to look at something, do something, or go somewhere, he will do it one way and I will naturally do it the other! Learning how to have good conflict is a very important skill to learn!
Tim, that article is awesome! I read it!