CNN and others are reporting that a man went on a shooting rampage in southern Alabama

According to CNN reports, her husband, Josh Myers,  a sheriff’s deputy was on duty, chasing the gunman not knowing what had happened to his own family.  Three month old Ella Kay, the youngest daughter of  Josh and Andrea Myers is in hospital with gun-related injuries.  The couple’s son was present at the time of the incident, but not physically injured.

Myers told CNN, “It’s supposed to be me out here getting shot, not my family.  I’d step out on the street any day and take a bullet for anybody in this community. Anybody. I take that risk when I go to work every day, I take that risk when I’m off.”

The shooting is said to be the worst in state history.   Speaking to reporters, Myers asked everyone to keep his baby girl in their prayers.

Finding peace in troubled times
How to help a grieving friend

Years ago, my roommate was engaged for a year and a half.

His experience is a common one. There is a great deal of expectation that goes into planning a wedding.  Not only are you and your fiancé changing your lives forever, you’re trying to balance your own dreams, your parents’ dreams, tradition and a budget.  No wonder it can seem overwhelming.

If you are currently planning a wedding, be sure to read Darren Hewer’s article, “5 Tips for Brides”.  From dealing with vendors to dealing with the in-laws Darren has 5 tips every bride should read before the big day.  His fifth tip is the one that resonated most for me.  He writes:

Take control. Remember, it’s your wedding. And, hopefully, it’ll be the only one you ever have. So take control and don’t let well-meaning relatives push you around. Pray for strength, guidance, and peace of mind to help you enjoy your wedding day like you should.

When my brother got married he was barefoot, wearing board shorts and smiling from ear to ear.   He and his bride walked in to the ceremony together, hand in hand.  For them it was a fitting expression of what was about to occur.  The wedding was not formal, but it was sacred and it was totally theirs.  This wedding day is yours, both of yours.  Make sure you don’t get lost in the shuffle.

Counselors have been telling couples for years “make sure you spend more time planning for your marriage than you do planning the wedding” and that’s still great advice.  If you are getting ready to walk down the aisle, download a free copy of our Ebook for Brides. It’s full of marriage planning tips along with the some great ideas for the day itself.

Are you getting married soon? Can we pray for you? Millions of people around the world believe in the power of prayer. If you are facing a difficult time in your life we would love the opportunity to pray for you.

Requests sent to us will not be posted on the website. A prayer mentor will respond to your request. Whenever possible we pray for these requests within a day of receiving them.

1. Go play outside. There are so many things to do outside – walk, hike, play frisbee, play sports – so take the chance to get outside and enjoy a little exercise. Fresh air is good for you and a chance to get out into nature is a great way to boost your spirits. Just remember to be sun-smart, a burn doesn’t look good on anyone and as we all know, the long term effects can be dangerous. Grab your sunglasses and a hat and don’t forget the sunscreen.
2. Paint your toenails. No matter what your toes look like, they will look prettier painted. Treat yourself to a trip to the drugstore and a spend a couple of dollars on a great shade or two. You can wear much brighter colours on your feet than you can on your hands so reach for something a little wilder. Pinks are all the rage this season. Add a toe ring for extra sparkle.
3. Eat fresh. Fresh fruits and vegetables are available all throughout the summer, so take the opportunity to eat as much fresh produce as possible. Not only is it delicious, but it is often low in fat, and high in fibre, vitamins and minerals. Many fruits and vegetables pack well for picnics and hikes so remember to tuck one into your bag.
4. Buy one sundress. Find one that works for your body shape and you’ll be amazed how often you wear it. If you can’t find one that you like, look for a pattern and break out the sewing machine – sundresses are often very simple to make. Even if you only wear it in the backyard, the freedom of a little sundress is worth the effort.
5. Lighten-up your make-up. The heat and humidity of summer makes paring down your make-up a practical choice, as well as feeling great. Try a little bronzer on your face in place of foundation, or try using an oil-free product to combat shine. Be daring and see how much of your make-up you can go without.
6. Put some colour in your wardrobe. After the blacks and beiges of winter, summer is a great time to introduce some colour into your closet. Look for solid colour tops in bright colours or try a bold patterned skirt. Summer’s fabrics are light and easy going so be a little playful with your colour choices and see what happens.
7. Choose to enjoy summer this year. How many summers have you spent hiding your feet, your arms or some other part of your body that you feel doesn’t measure up? Have you turned down an opportunity to go swimming or camping or sunbathing because of what you would have to wear? Bodies come in all shapes and sizes. Yours in the only one you’ve got, so take care of it and enjoy it proudly this summer. Confidence looks great on anyone.

Related reading:  Give yourself an even better treat: Improve your self-esteem

You are a human being who is loved by God. You are intelligent, beautiful, loved, and not alone.

Take a minute to think about that – God loves you, and not because of what you do. He loves you for who you are and will never leave you because of anything you’ve done. Isn’t that just the kind of love you’ve always dreamed about?

You might not think of yourself as exceptional, but you are. You are a hand-crafted original. God made you on purpose, no accidents of fate or chance. The Bible says that when God created man and woman He “saw everything that He had made, indeed it was very good.” (Genesis 1:31) God created you and He is interested in the details of your life. The Bible tells us that Gods knows each of us better than we know ourselves – he even knows how many hairs are on your head! (Matthew 10:30)

It’s pretty incredible to think about. The same God who created the stars and turns the colors of the leaves in Fall, created you. You are His masterpiece and He loves you. God created you to have a relationship with Him.

So, why does it sometimes feel like you and God aren’t on speaking terms?

You know what it’s like when you have an argument with a friend and there’s distance between you? It’s like that with God and us. God could have created us as robots that just did whatever we were told, but he didn’t. He gave us free will, the ability to choose. It’s because of his love for us. Love without choice isn’t love, it’s coercion. You can’t have any real relationship without choice.

So, as humans we get to choose, and in the very beginning we chose to go our own way. Sin entered the world and with it came a separation from God, a distance in our relationship with him. I know what you’re thinking, “Sin? But I’m a good person” Being a good person isn’t enough.

The word sin in the Greek comes from a word that means simply “missing the mark”. We can try really, really hard to be good people, but to be able to be in relationship with God we’d need to be perfect in our thoughts, attitudes and actions. We all know that’s not possible. The Bible tells us that the punishment for sin is death – eternal separation from God. We are all sinners but that is not where the story ends.

If God loves us, why would we perish? That’s a good question. God cannot just ignore our sin. God is just – he is concerned with right and wrong. The price of our sin is death – eternal separation from God – someone had to pay that price. God couldn’t take away the punishment. If he did that it would be like saying that sin isn’t really a problem. It would mean pretending that everything is okay between us instead of actually repairing the relationship.

Since God loves us, he does not want us to perish. So He sent His son Jesus to die in our place. Jesus, Himself divine; God in human form; God’s only son, lived a perfect life and was put to death on a cross. He died a death He didn’t deserve so we could live a life we couldn’t earn. God made an unthinkable sacrifice. There was a card years ago that said something like this:

“How much do you love me?” I asked Jesus.
And he stretched out his arms on a cross and said “this much.”

It says in the Bible that “God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us” (Rom 5:8). God loves us so much that he didn’t wait for us to come to him with our need, he took care of it before we even realized we needed him.

It doesn’t end there though. Jesus died, and three days later He rose from the dead. Sounds impossible right? Jesus is the Son of God, not just a good man, a teacher or a prophet. Jesus proved who He was by raising up from the dead. Through Him we can know God because Jesus paid for the sin that separated us from God.

The First Step

Knowing about Jesus isn’t enough. Each of us has to accept what Jesus did for us. Imagine you were dying of some horrible disease and the doctor came into your hospital room and told you that he had the cure. Knowing about the medicine would not cure you. You’d have to take it for it to affect your condition. It’s the same thing with God’s love and Jesus’ sacrifice, unless we own it, it cannot save us.

Owning what Jesus did is agreeing with God that you are a sinner. It’s not an easy thing to say. But as any recovery program will tell you, you have to own the problem before you can start to fix it. If you were back in that hospital room and told the doctor “I don’t need your medicine, I’m not sick” he wouldn’t be able to do much for you. You need to agree with God that you need Him in your life and that there is nothing you can do in your own strength to make up for your sin. That’s the first step.

The Second Step

The Bible tells us that if we accept what Jesus did for us, our sins are forgiven. Psalm 103 verse 12 tells us “as far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us.” “Transgressions” is just another word for “sins”. Think about that, ‘as far as the east is from the west’. That’s pretty far.

What Next?

Accepting Christ does not transform you into a perfect person. But it does take you from being a condemned person and sets you free. You and I will keep sinning, but because our relationship with God has been restored we can go to him and ask for forgiveness and strength to make better choices. We can be assured that when we do sin and honestly seek forgiveness we will be forgiven.

You may have heard of a version of the Bible called The Message. The Message tries to put the truth of the Bible into more modern English. The Message explains sin and forgiveness this way:

But now that you’ve found you don’t have to listen to sin tell you what to do, and have discovered the delight of listening to God telling you, what a surprise! A whole, healed, put-together life right now, with more and more of life on the way! Work hard for sin your whole life and your pension is death. But God’s gift is real life, eternal life, delivered by Jesus, our Master.

With the barrier of sin gone, we can have the relationship with God that He wants for us. This relationship promises strength for today and eternal life, being with Him forever, after death. All you have to do is accept this gift in faith by and act of the will. The doctor is there with the cure, you just have to take it.

How do I accept Jesus?

The final step is a prayer asking God to come into your life and make you the person He wants you to be. Prayer is just talking to God. There is no right or wrong way to do it. God is not concerned about the words that you choose, he cares about the state of your heart. He hears you. You can pray a prayer something like this:

Jesus, I want to know you personally. I know that I am a sinner and that nothing I could do can make up for that. Thank you for dying in my place and paying the price for my sin. I know that my sin doesn’t separate me from God anymore. Thank you for forgiving me. I know that you love me and that I will spend eternity with you. I want you to be my Savior. Come into my life and take control, make me the person you want me to be.

God invites you into relationship with him. He is ready to welcome you home.

There it was, unexpected but inescapable: the red cups, the peppermint drinks, the jazzy compilation album. Once I got over the shock, I was delighted. I felt like a child waking up to the first snow and dreaming of a snow day. “It’s Christmas!” I thought. And then the rational side of my brain — lagging behind and longing for coffee — reminded me, “No it isn’t. It’s barely November.”

Thank goodness there was a grande, non-fat, no foam, extra-hot latte to soften the blow.

One latte later I am still trying to puzzle it out. Is it Christmas yet or not? It certainly is the season at Starbucks and a few of my neighbours have taken it to heart. Each evening there are more lights decorating the roof lines and at least one family has put up their tree. Municipalities are getting in on it too, lighting Main Street with candy canes and holly. But it is Christmas?

A lot of people will say that the Christmas season is stretched out to maximize profits, and I’m not sure that they’re wrong. It does seem to start a little earlier each year. But it is hard to resist the sparkle that Christmas puts on everything, even that simple cup of coffee.

The songs and storybooks tell us that ‘Christmas is in our hearts’ and maybe that’s where the struggle lies. Christmas may be ready for me but am I ready for Christmas? Are you?

Photo courtesy of Virgina. Used with permission.

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Do you watch The Amazing Race?

This season there was an intriguing team made up of 21 year old Jenna and her newly discovered birth Mom, Andie. Andie, now 43 and a mother of three young children speaks openly in the show about her decision to give Jenna up for adoption.  In an early episode she talks about how the thing she wanted most for Jenna was a stable family that loved her.  She said she wished she could have given that to Jenna but at the time in her life she couldn’t.  In the video you can see Jenna look over at her and say simply, “You did.”

It must be amazing for the two of them to meet as adults and be able to say “you made the right choice”.  I can only imagine what it costs a woman to release her newborn to adoption.  It takes an unbelievable strength to put away your own hopes and wishes and let someone else raise your child.  But at the same time, I know it’s not that simple.

In her article, “Life is Not an Accident” Julie Stobbe writes of her own experience growing up adopted.  She writes:

When I entered junior high and then high school, I had to process a lot of emotions about my adoption. At first I was angry at my birth mother and father. As a baby I had been abandoned by these people. What kind of people would have a healthy baby and then just give it away? That led me to feeling worthless. I told myself I was a big mistake, that I was a loser.  But as I mulled over all of my emotions, I started to realize I was grateful for my life.

Julie, like Jenna, did get the chance to meet her birth mother as an adult.  She talks about walking the a new road with a woman who is, as she puts it “not my Mother, but she is Alyson — a courageous woman that I love very much.”   You can read the rest of the article to see how Julie’s story grew after meeting Alyson.

Adoption often stirs up a lot of questions about identity and why we are here. If you’ve ever wondered if you were born to do great things, take a minute to watch Erwin McManus talk about the concept of destiny.  The good news, the great news, is that you ARE here for a reason.  That’s true of all of us, adopted or not.  Take a minute to watch the video, you’ll be glad you did.

Summer is here and love is in the air.

One of the easiest ways to accomplish both of these things is simply to head outside.  Take your date to the beach and play Frisbee in the sand, or enjoy a simple and romantic picnic.  If there’s a harbor in your town grab an iced latte and watch the sailboats.

Hit the park

There are parks in almost any city and a quiet walk together can be a great way to spend an evening.  If you have a dog, bring them along.  If not, just enjoy the scenery and each other’s company.  If you can find a park with a swing set, climb onto a swing and remember what it feels like to be a kid again.

Find some ice cream

In the summer, ice cream is everywhere and what better place to eat it than out in the sun with someone you love?  Even a really fancy ice cream is budget friendly.  Choose your favorite flavor, head for anywhere with a view, and you’re well on your way to great summer date.

For more great summer date ideas that won’t cost a lot, check out Justine Hwang’s article, “Fun and Affordable Dates”.

Could your relationship use a romance make-over? Try our free life lesson Rekindle the Romance. This could be your best year yet!

No one ever said marriage was easy, but for four decades Al and Tipper Gore made it work.

Diplomacy wasn’t enough

I was saddened this morning to see the news that Mr. and Mrs. Gore are parting ways.  They have been married longer than I have been alive and I cannot imagine what it must feel like for them today.  My heart and my prayers go out to them.   It also makes me a little nervous.  If two people skilled in the art of diplomacy can’t make it work, what hope is there for the rest of us?

A recent article on CNN explains:

Break-ups among long-term married couples — who have invested 30, 40 or more years into a relationship — is an uncommon phenomenon compared to the skyrocketing divorce rates among naive newlyweds or parents overwhelmed with children, marriage experts say. But the number of long-term relationships headed toward separation — like the Gores — is becoming more frequent with longer life spans and a growing acceptability of divorce, they say.

“Staying in exactly the right relationship to one another is a very hard thing to maintain every decade,” said Pepper Schwartz, professor of sociology at the University of Washington. “People think you only get closer over time, but that’s not necessarily true.”

Staying together is like losing weight

I was reading Sheila Wray Gregoire’s blog the other day and she had a little statement that really stood out to me.  She said “You will never drift together. People only ever drift apart. If you want to grow closer, you have to be intentional about it.”

I have no idea what happened between the Gores and genuinely, I hope it stays that way.  I don’t need to know.  But I do know that their conflict resolution skills were not enough to save their marriage, and  they wouldn’t be enough to save yours either.  You don’t need a university degree in human relationships to make a marriage work, you simply have to continue to choose to work on it.

I think in some ways it’s like losing weight. As a nation, we are not as healthy as we should be.  (Neither am I.) We don’t stay heavy because we don’t understand the problem, or because we lack knowledge.  We stay heavy because of the choices we make.   Losing weight isn’t challenging because it’s complicated; it’s challenging because it’s really, really hard work.

You have to choose and then choose again and then choose again.  Skipping one cookie in favor of a salad isn’t enough, one loving gesture isn’t enough to keep a marriage healthy either.  We have to keep choosing.  And yes, at the best of times it’s hard, but even at the worst of times it is so worth the effort.

My prayer for Al and Tipper is that they will find a way back form this.   For the rest of us, our knowledge won’t save us, but our actions can.  How do you keep your marriage healthy?

If you need someone to talk to we have mentors available 24/7.  Send us an email today.