I was backpacking and camping with some friends and my 3 year old grandson joined us. We were setting up camp at a beautiful lake in the mountains. As I was working on putting up the tent, he joined some of our group down at the shore line and yelled up to me, “Papa can I go in the water?” My response was, “Yes, but do not get your clothes wet.” He was wearing shorts, so I thought he’d be okay. I looked over a few minutes later and he was totally naked! He was definitely making sure he was not going to get his clothes wet!

This made me laugh, as well as made me reflect about my life. How careful am I about obedience? Do I think carefully about my actions to be “absolutely sure” I’m being diligent to obey God’s word? Or am I sometimes careless?

God tells us not to do certain things, but does give permission in other areas. He does this for two positive reasons, to protect us and to provide a good future for us. Obedience in how we live occurs within the bounds of God’s love.

Jesus says, “Just as the Father has loved Me, I have also loved you; abide in My love. If you keep My commandments, you will abide in My love; just as I have kept My Father’s commandments and abide in His Love. These things I have spoken to you so that My joy may be in you, and that your joy may be made full”  (John 15:9-11 NASB).

I need to be obedient to God – both because He tells me to be and also because obedience is always to my benefit.  God loves me and commands me out of that love.  If is stay in His commandments, I’ll be in the very best place I can be and ready to do the work God has for me.

Questions: Why does God tell us not to do certain things, but does give permission in other areas? How can we know God’s will for us?

I like thrift stores. I normally go to look for books but once in a while something else will catch my eye. One day an old looking, tarnished, blackened silver teapot fell into my sights. It was close to our 25th wedding anniversary, and it was a good deal. After a little mental gymnastics I decided to lay out the cash, trusting it would polish up.

As I drove home, I glanced at my purchase. It looked bad. I had second thoughts. Had I made a mistake? I wondered where it had originally come from and then what homes it had traveled through on its way to ending up in a second hand store…

At home, I pulled out the silver polish and started the task of getting rid of the black exterior. Anticipation grew with each rub and stroke of work. To my wonder, my hopes of revealing its true beauty were realized. From a tarnished, blackened mess emerged a beautiful treasure. I could see my reflection in it now, and the sun made it gleam as the light bounced off its shiny, clean face.

This old silver teapot made me reflect on how God views our lives. He sees the mess, the tarnish and blackness, as well as each step in the journey. Every mark, each coat of disuse or neglect– He knows it all. He paid a great price for us, even when it was obvious that our outward beauty was marred. His son died on a cross to pay the purchase price for each one of us. He knows our value, with no second thoughts on whether he should have paid so much.

Unlike my silver teapot, we have to be willing to have our tarnish rubbed off. The price has been paid but the transaction is not complete until we are willing to submit to the gentle hands of the master to begin his work.

Sadly some think they have to remove the blackened tarnish on their own before they would somehow qualify to be God’s possession. As impossible as it would be for my silver teapot to clean itself, so it is with our lives. The true beauty of God’s creation can never be realized without His deliberate cleansing and gentle work in our lives.

When we become his possession he begins the process to bring out the beauty of His character in our lives. His work produces the unmistakable beauty of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Think for a moment, “What a difference would be made in your life and the lives of others around you if these characteristics were evident in your life?”

Years ago when I felt my life was in a bit of a mess I came across the poem, The Touch of the Master’s Hand by Myra Brooks Welch:

‘Twas battered and scarred and the auctioneer thought it scarcely worth his while to waste much time on the old violin, but he held it up with a smile. “What am I bidden, good folk,” he cried, “Who’ll start the bidding for me? A dollar, a dollar;” then, “Two! Only two? Two dollars, and who’ll make it three? Three dollars, once; three dollars, twice; going for three…” but no, from the room, far back, a gray-haired  man came forward and picked up the bow; then, wiping the dust from the old violin, and tightening the loose strings, he played a melody pure and sweet as a caroling angel sings.

The music ceased, and the auctioneer, with a voice that was quiet and low, said; “What am I bid for the old violin?” and he held it up with the bow. “A thousand dollars, and who’ll make it two? Two thousand! And who will make it three? Three thousand, once; three thousand twice, and going and going, and gone,” said he. The people cheered, but some of them cried, “We do not quite understand what changed its worth.” Swift came the reply; “The touch of the master’s hand.”

And many a man with life out of tune, and battered and scarred with sin, is auctioned cheap to the thoughtless crowd, much like the old violin. A “mess of pottage,” a glass of wine; a game and he travels on. He is “going” once, and “going” twice, he’s “going” and almost “gone.” But the Master comes, and the     foolish crowd never can quite understand the worth of a soul and the change that’s wrought by the touch of the Master’s hand.

I was once tired of the mess of my life, which was tarnished and out of tune. I knew I needed the touch of God’s hand, and I cried out to God. I asked Him to use his touch in my life.

In fact, now it is a daily request. I have realized, on my own, I will never be what I long to be. I was not made to go through life without God’s touch. Just as a glove has no purpose without a hand, my life lacks its ultimate purpose without God.

You may be like me and have realized your need for the touch of the Master. If so, I suggest that you pray the following prayer:

Lord Jesus, I need You. Thank you for dying on the cross for my sins. I open the door of my life and receive You as my Savor and Lord. Thank you for forgiving my sins and giving me eternal life. Take control of the throne of my life. Make me the kind of person You want me to be. Amen.

If you prayed and invited Christ into your life just now, you can be sure he came in. The moment you invite Christ into your life by faith, many things happened including the following:
Christ came into your life.
Your sins are forgiven.
You became a child of God.
You received eternal life.
You began the great adventure for which God created you!!!

Or you might be saying, “I have opened my heart to Christ before.” If that is the case, He is still there with you but you need to once again put Him in the driver’s seat of your life. If that is the case, I suggest this prayer of surrender:

Dear Father, I need You. I acknowledge that I have sinned against You by directing my own life. I thank You that You have forgiven my sins through Christ’s death on the cross for me. I now invite Christ to again take His place on the throne of my life. Fill me with the Holy Spirit as you commanded me to be filled, and as You promised in Your Word that you would do if I asked in faith. I pray this in the name of Jesus. As an expression of my faith, I now thank You for directing my life and for filling me with the Holy Spirit. Amen.

The prayer of inviting Christ into your life is only needed once but the prayer of surrender should be a daily prayer, or in some cases, even more than hourly. Sometimes even minute by minute. The point is that as we surrender to God’s gentle touch in our lives He will tune or polish so that his beauty will be seen in us!

Questions: Have you allowed God to clean you up so we can all see your beauty? Tell us about it. What are some of the things that we are given as we become followers of Christ?

About the Author Mike Woodward

Daily audio podcast: A second daily devotional, Expressions of God’s Fatherhood, today on the Men’s Devotional Blog

Looking for some solid guideposts? Take our study Golden Nuggets from Philippians to learn how to live in a construction zone and where to find lights in a dark world.

“So we fix our eyes not on what’s seen, but on what is unseen since what is seen is temporary but what is unseen is eternal” (2 Corinthians 4:18) .

I was on my way home. The airport below was covered in a dense fog.  As the pilot began his descent, all of a sudden, he pulled up and aborted his landing attempt.  In order to explain what had happened, he came on the PA system and announced that he was going to begin his landing procedure again.  At the last minute, he had not been sure whether he was lining up with runway markers or street lights!  I still wonder if he was serious in his explanation…

In the foggy patches of life, sometimes I wonder if I’m lining up my life with the right markers.  It would have been tragic if the plane had landed on a city street or highway by mistake.  In the same way, I think it would be equally disconcerting if I come to the end of my life and realize that I have aligned myself with the wrong values and goals.

I once heard someone say that there are only two eternal things that matter, God and people.  The best plan for life is to align with these, in terms of investing time and energy.  Where is your life headed, to an airport at the end of a runway, or onto a highway where there is oncoming traffic?  Are you investing in the right things, being guided by the best markers that will bring you to a desired destination? How is your life lining up? Are you fixing your eyes on what is eternal?

Questions: Where is your life headed? Are you fixing your eyes on what is eternal? What are your values and goals?

Action: Think of 3 things you have taken for granted today and say thank you. It can be really simple.  Some examples…

-          Thanks for dinner. What a great meal!

-          Thanks for filling the car with gas. I appreciate it.

-          Thanks for doing the wash. This shirt smells so good.

-          Wow, the kitchen looks so clean. I sure like the way you take care of things.

-          You do an amazing job with the yard, thank you.

-          You look good. I appreciate the way you take care of yourself.

-          You are so patient. I sure appreciate it.

You get the idea…

Proverb of Solomon: “The right word at the right time is like precious gold set in silver.”                                                                                                                            – Proverbs 25:11

Are YOU having an affair?  You say, “Never!” but there may be more to think about. . .

How do you define affair?  Generally we think of an affair involving another person. Affairs come in different shapes and sizes…an affair of the mind…an affair with work, with sports, with hobbies, volunteering; the list goes on. Anything that takes your attention, emotional energy and affection away from your primary relationship could be classed as an affair. Have you crossed the line? So let me ask again… Are you having an affair?

Action:  Do a heart exam. Are you prioritizing your relationship? Is your partner getting the best of your affection and attention or is it going elsewhere?  How would they answer this question?

Ask them. . .

Book:  Close Calls by Dave Carder

Note:  This not meant to diminish the emotional pain of a physical affair.  We recognize that to be in a different category.

Action: Make a commitment to GIVE pleasure rather than focus on yourself. See what happens…

“If we were the same, one of us would not be necessary!” Two people who are different have the wonderful potential of complementing each other but also having some level of conflict. Conflict is normal and can be very productive. Constructive conflict which can be defined as solution focused and not person focused can build depth into any relationship. Couples miss out on the benefits of conflict by either being too passive or being too aggressive. A common pattern of conflict mismanagement is to withdraw or attack. Learn to engage in a positive way! You engage when you trust the other person and depth of the relationship to handle the conflict. So go have a “good” fight!

Action: When you see the conflict cloud gathering don’t run or get aggressive.  Engage with the question, “What’s a win/win solution for this issue?” Do not give up till you both agree on a plan.

Proverb of Solomon: “The mind of the wise makes their speech insightful and enhances the teaching of their lips. Pleasant words are flowing honey, sweet to the taste and healing to the bones.” – Proverbs 16: 23-24 CEB

In the book The 10 Best Decisions a Couple Can Make (Harvest Books, page 69) Bill and Pam Farrel state that research shows there are many styles of effective conflict resolution. The key word is effective. They present some characteristics that flow from both.

Effective Conflict

• You feel better about your relationship when you are done talking.
• You have confidence that your future disagreements will enhance your relationship.
• The process of making up is positive for both people.

Ineffective Conflict

• You feel worse about your relationship when you are done talking.
• You start to avoid or dread serious conversations.
• Your arguments do not lead to making up.
• You become increasingly critical of one another.

If you are getting more check marks on the ineffective list you may be headed for relationship dysfunction.

In his book, Creating an Intimate Marriage, author Jim Burns challenges readers with this idea, “YOU set the mood, tone and atmosphere in your marriage.”  He also points out you are the ONE person who can make a difference in your marriage. You cannot default to, “If only my spouse would change!”

Are you proactive or reactive? Proactive people take positive steps forward to change the circumstances. Reactive people are shaped by their circumstances.

Are you a thermometer or a thermostat?  A thermometer reads the temperature.  A thermostat changes the temperature. Make a definite choice this week to be the leader in creating affection, warmth and encouragement.

Experiment:  Choose one thing you can do EACH day this week. Ask yourself the following:

• How can I be more affectionate? Maybe it’s a hug, a kiss or holding hands during the day.
• How do I communicate warmth? Maybe it’s saying thank you; expressing appreciation for things you take for granted.
• How can I be more encouraging? Are you looking at the glass half empty? Tell your spouse one thing you like about them each day.  Examples: That shirt looks good on you. I like your hair that way.  You are a hard worker.  You are a good parent.  That is a good idea!
• Discuss together:  Reactive/Proactive and Thermometer/thermostat:  Who are you?

The thought was serious, but just for a moment. I was hurt, tired, and so discouraged that despair seemed to rush in. I’ve never forgotten that moment and have never told anyone until now. Maybe it is so vivid because my normal view of life is optimistic. I often tell people, “I don’t have problems, I have opportunities…”

Despair can have many sources and can be more profound combined with other factors. A friend’s 18 year old daughter attempted to take her life. The combination for her was the knee operation that took her out of her last year of high school sports, the friend who had criticized her harshly, a broken relationship, alcohol, and physical/emotional tiredness. Late one night, after everyone went to bed, she picked up her pain medication and downed the whole bottle. Fortunately for her and my friend, despair did not win. Others are not so fortunate.

Despair is dangerous and can be deadly. I remember reading once, “People can live weeks without food, days without water, minutes without oxygen, but not a moment without hope.” On a personal level I have found it helpful to identify factors that contribute to despair and also cling to the things that give me hope.

Some of these factors may seem insignificant. I have found when I’m hungry and tired I’m more prone to lose perspective. The best thing I can do is eat and sleep.

I know that when I have emotional highs from lots of people contact or events, this can result in my emotional bank account being over extended. When that happens I can expect an emotional low to follow. When I know and anticipate this cycle I find I’m much more able to deal with it. Despair is held at bay.

Another warning signal of emotional tiredness can be emotions being closer to the surface. This can show up through angry “blow ups” or tears. You might even think, “Wow! Where did that come from?” These all give despair a foothold.

Another fertile soil for despair to take root in is the words of trusted friends. Words of close friends can be so powerful either for good or bad. I don’t care much about what people say who do not know me, but the words of my trusted friends carry significant weight. This is why divorce can be so profound. The person who knows you the best has just said, “I do not value or want you.”  Wow! That is painful! Despair is swift and can be suffocating.

Hope becomes an antidote to despair. A variety of things can bring hope. Perspective can bring hope. The following story illustrates this point…

On a foggy morning in July 1952, Florence Chadwick waded into the chilly waters off Catalina Island. Her goal was to swim the Channel to the coast of California. The numbing cold of the water hit her right away, and she could barely see the boat that accompanied her in the dense fog. Several times during her swim, a rifle was fired to keep sharks away. She swam for 15 hours before she asked to be taken out of the water. Her trainer encouraged her to keep going, saying she was very close to land. Florence was no stranger to long distance swimming. She had been the first women to swim the English Channel in both directions. But this day, as she neared the coast of California, all she could see was the fog. She was exhausted, and began to feel discouraged, thinking she was not going to be able to make it… Florence gave up, just a half mile from her goal! In the interview after the swim, she was quoted as saying, “I’m not excusing myself, but if I had only been able to see the land, I might have been able to make it.”

What was it that caused Florence to give up that day? Was it the cold water, exhaustion or fear? No, the reason she failed to reach her goal was the fog. Two months later, she swam that same Catalina channel and set a new speed record in the process.

I need fog clearing moments, times when I take stock of my life and circumstances. Sometimes this comes through stopping activity and taking stock or it might involve finding an objective listener who can help you clear the fog. This might mean a trip or two to a councilor or a wise, trusted friend.

Faith can bring hope, ultimate hope. King David once stated, “I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.” Confidence that there is a God who loves me and has a good plan in the mist of pain, and hurt is a profound defense against despair. I was once removed from a position of leadership suddenly without warning. I was flooded with deep emotions at the unjustness of this decision. As my mind was reeling trying to make sense of this I remembered the words of a friend. In describing a similar set of circumstances she was buoyed by the understanding that God was not wringing his hands in heaven. He had a plan. Those words hit me. A significant sense of confidence settled in. Confidence that God loved me and even in this he had a plan for a way through. There was still pain, confusion and hurt but knowing God’s love and presence provided a foundation to handle the pain.

A person cannot live long with despair. Dealing with despair takes two forms, prevention and long term cure. Prevention is the strategy of dealing with conditions that lead to despair which can include simple things like enough rest or talking out discouragement with a trusted friend.

Prevention involves finding a foundation that gives hope; especially in the mist of circumstances that are despair producing. God can provide that foundation. His love can hold you in the midst of any storm. His wisdom can guide you through it and his strength can steady you as you move forward.  Despair need not overtake you. Why not open the door of your despair and invite God into it. Ask him to walk with you. Don’t try to live independently from him. He invites you to share the journey with him. Why not choose God as your foundation today?

If you would like to invite God into that place of despair today why not pray this prayer right now:

Dear God,
My despair is overwhelming. I don’t know what to do. I need your strength to anchor me and your wisdom to guide me. I need you to give me a firm footing as I work through this. I invite you into my life right now. Forgive me for living independent from you. I need you. Come into my life and bring me hope today. Amen.

If you prayed this prayer let us know. A mentor can help you in this new journey of faith.