While reading the book I became quickly aware that while it did not implicitly say so, it was implied that the main character has high functioning autism. I was in awe of the explanations and reasoning behind decisions that the boy made.  In the book you are taken inside his world and shown how complex everyday tasks became.  The want to fulfill impulses was no longer a drive, but a necessity.  After I read the book I couldn’t stop thinking about having to live with this psychological condition.  To feel out of control of ones self was something that I was sure every human struggled with on only a surface level compared to individuals with autism.

I began to think of what I would do, how I would react and cope if I were to have a child with autism. I read different accounts from various individuals, ranging from particulars on what the condition entailed, to different theories on how to relate to those with various degrees of autism. I even read debates on whether it is a naturally occurring phenomenon, or can be brought on by vaccinations as some believe.

Until recently, I never came across an honest account of what a parent with autistic children would see as being helpful, or an encouragement to them.  But while reading Christine Hoover’s article “Walking the Autism Road with Someone You Love”, I was able to read a mother’s description of raising an autistic son, and also the encouragement and advice that she has for others supporting family members of those with autism.

I cannot imagine being strong enough to deal with such a situation. I’m sure many parents in this position cannot imagine themselves being strong enough either.  But with the positive support of their family and friends, they gain the strength to raise their child, and love and support them relentlessly while doing it.

In the end, it is all with the grace of God that we get through hard situations such as this.  We alone are not capable of the load ourselves, nor do we need to be.

Do you struggle with feeling as though you cannot beat a hard situation? Talk to a mentor.

Upcoming online chats: Join us for daily online chats! One of our features will be “What Do I Base My Self-Worth On? ” on June 28 at 10:30 am EDT Please join us to discuss where you get your confidence from.

New Year’s Resolutions used to be my enemies.

Why is it that we as humans even have this tradition in place?  It inevitably results in failure for me almost every year.  Except for this one.  This year, I have actually attained the goal that I resolved to attain.  Wonder of wonder, miracle of miracles!

My secret to being successful this year was to aim lower than other years.  That way I expect less of myself, and it’s easier to get a win.  You’re probably thinking “Really?  That is how you are going to tell me to live? To aim lower in order to win?”  And to that I say, NO.

What I am trying to express is that people need to be realistic in setting their goals.  Set milestones in your life that are attainable.  If you are able to actually achieve what you are setting out to do, you will walk away happy, with a sense of accomplishment.  More importantly you will feel that there is so much more that you are able to accomplish.  Do not expect the impossible of yourself, or you will feel like a failure when you fail to meet that goal. We were meant to do great things!  Author Erwin McManus said something once that stuck with me “You are not supposed to just passively enter into tomorrow.  You are supposed to be actively engaging in the creation of tomorrow” (watch Erwin speak more about this here).

I often hear people say “ I expect nothing but the best from myself”.  I also believe this.  But what is my best?  When I set goals for myself, am I holding myself up to others’ expectations, or my own?  Setting attainable goals will help you to succeed, and have a feeling of accomplishment.  You will be ready to take more and more on.

When I set out with a goal for myself, I take an inward look to see what is realistic for myself.  This does not by any means go to say that I do not push myself.  If we never push ourselves, we will never grow, never move forward.

When you set a goal that through hard work, and perseverance, you will see positive change happening.  That is why resolutions exist; to succeed at them, to create a positive change in ones life, to further yourself.  I find for myself that once I have achieved one goal, I am eager to move onto the next one and work hard at it.  Small planned steps will get you further than blind leaps.

When I take stock of how I am doing with my New Years Resolutions at this 4-month point, I feel good for the first year ever.  Have I lost 50 pounds? Do I have hair longer than any other person I know?  Am I fluent in Italian? Of course not, those are unrealistic goals that would have set me up for failure, would have created a negative feeling towards myself. However, I have committed to fitness and am exercising weekly.  I don’t have any split ends.  And I can now properly communicate to any Italian that I am in need of a telephone and want to eat an apple.

For me, small steps in the right direction means getting a win in the end.

Is your best ever good enough? Talk to a mentor

With the Olympics coming to town

Over the years, I, as well as many of my friends have worked with the homeless in our community, as well as outreaches to other parts of the world.  I myself have come to learn some very effective practical methods and actions in which to help those in need.  The following states some easy, and very attainable ways to help those who need it the most.

• Keep extras in your car.  Things like socks, jackets, blankets, toothbrush, toothpaste, soap are highly valued.
• Carry gift cards with you for food and grocery stores.
• Offer to buy the individual a meal of their choice from food venues around you.
• Donate food to shelters.  Basics such as rice and meat are always in high demand, as well as items such as baby food and formula.
• Donate new, or gently worn clothing to shelters.
• Volunteer your time at an organization or shelter.
  • Options range from preparing or serving food, cleaning, or helping to organize outreaches.
  • Things such as helping in the office and doing administrative work for a shelter can be of large benefit.
  • If you have a professional skill such as medical, dental, legal, etc, commit to coming in for a day to help out by providing your expertise.

• Have a list on hand of organizations that provide services to that you can assist in directing people you come into contact with.
• Arrange a fundraiser on your own time to profit local shelters.  A craft or bake sale can yield a good profit for the cause.
• Join a program that participates in building homes.
• Be an advocate – talk about the issue at town forums, providing positive ways to bring light to the subject.

But the number one thing I have heard said, from those giving time as well as those that are receiving it on the streets, is to simply take notice and be willing to talk.

How easy it becomes to not stop and pay attention to these people, these people who are made of everything you and I are.  Be respectful.  Be engaged.  Talk to those you come into contact with.  Offer to listen, to discuss, to care.  Be it on the streets you walk every day, or going to visit a shelter, love these people as you would want to be loved. Taking the time to show you care means the world to many.

The homeless, like everyone else, want to connect.  They want to talk about their day, they want to share their ideas and their triumphs.  They have the same desires, cravings, and need for intimacy.  The questions that tug at your soul daily tug at theirs too. Author Erwin McManus talks a lot about the need for intimacy I his book, Soul Cravings.  He says that “there is nothing the world needs more than people who have been changed by love.”  (You can watch a short video here. )  Take a step outside of your normal daily routine and start a conversation.  Not only will you learn something, but you will help to better someone’s life … and that can never be a bad thing.

Do you want to connect with others? Do you have questions about intimacy, destiny, or meaning?  If you have questions, we’d love to hear from you. Email us and you’ll be matched with mentors who are trained volunteers with real life experience who can answer questions, point you to other resources, or just listen.

Upcoming online chats: Join us for daily online chats! One of our features this week will be “Purpose: Decision or discovery?” on February 22 at 12:15 pm EST.

So, you’re thinking about opening your home, and your heart, to a new family member.

There are many things to consider in your decision.  Keep in mind that your decision is not only made for yourself, but for your pet as well! We as humans have been entrusted to look after and protect the animals around us.  While a great friend and companion, a pet will indeed rely on you for everything.  You must take the prospective future of the animal into consideration as well.   If you think your family might be ready for a pet, ask yourself these questions.  Taking some time now can help you find the perfect pet for your situation.

Is your lifestyle pet-friendly?

Do you lead a life that has open time for training a new pet, and providing daily interaction and attention?  This is a much larger commitment than some people realize, especially for a puppy in the beginning stages of socializing.  It takes much hard work and dedication to train an animal.

Who will feed, walk, groom and pick up after the dog?  A pet is a lifelong personal commitment to looking after another life.  You need to be willing to stick it out through the process to have a well behaved animal.

Do you have a living situation that is accommodating to the pet you want?  A cat can fare well in a smaller setting, such as an apartment, but dogs do not always do so well in confined spaces.  Take into account that a dog will need constant exercise, as well as an outdoor spot to go to the bathroom.

Are there young children in your family?

Often times, the initial reason for getting pet is to have it for the kids in your life.  Most kittens will adjust to children well, but take care if adopting an older cat.  Be sure to take note of the cat’s temperament and check with the shelter employees, and if possible, have the child interact with the cat before any final decisions are made.

If you are looking at inviting a dog into your home, more care will need to be taken in picking the right animal for children.  Once again, if adopting, be sure to find out the dog’s history with children, and have an assessment of its temperament done by it’s caretakers.  It’s a good idea to have the children interact with the animal before it is introduced into the home.

Have you taken into account the long-term cost of caring for a pet?

Taking a pet into your house is not a one time cost.  Expenses will continue to happen as long as the pet is a member of your family.  Remember that as well as initial costs that will cover food dishes, bedding, collars and grooming accessories, there will be regular food costs, licensing, possible pet insurance and most importantly of all, regular Veterinary care.  The vet visits will need to include annual check ups, vaccines, and deworming, as well as possible emergencies or medical conditions that may arise without any notice.

Once you’ve decided that you’re ready for a pet, the next step is selecting the animal that’s right for your home.  There are several things to consider to ensure a happy homecoming and a lifetime of great memories for you and your pet.

The physical condition of the animal

The most important thing to do is to have your kitten or puppy checked out by a registered member of your province’s Veterinary Association.  A reputable breeder or pet store should provide an exam with the purchase of the animal.  The vet will then conduct a routine new pet exam.

During this, the Veterinarian will check over a number of physical factors for your new animal from head to tail.   De-worming medication will be administered, and any necessary vaccinations will be given.  The vet can also give you a schedule so you’ll know what you need to do to keep your pet healthy and active.

Dealing with reputable breeders and shelters

It is very important when looking into gaining a new pet that you are well aware of the establishment that you are purchasing or rescuing from.  Make sure to research the different breeders and shelters before making any decisions.  Be sure that you are getting involved with a reputable breeder and not a puppy mill.

Find out how many litters the breeders normally have, and how many animals there are in total.  A reputable breeder will be happy to provide this information.   Be sure that if you are getting a pure-bread that all the papers are readily available for you and up to date.  Check with the Canadian Kennel Club or American Kennel Club or the Cat Fanciers Association for a list of their registered breeders.

The decision to welcome a pet into your home is a big one, and one not to be taken lightly.  But with the proper information at your disposal the choice will be much easier to make.    Is your family ready for a pet?

It was a late, dark night as I left the restaurant, and the parking lot was empty.

I fumbled for my keys as I tried to juggle the leftovers, but I failed to get them out before he was beside me.  I gave him a once over, trying to assess his intentions.  My gut decision was to be careful, but not to be frightened.  He called out to me.

“Help me, help me please, I need help with my razor”.

His razor?  Now I was a bit worried.  He wanted me to help with a razor blade? But I took a deep breath and threw a prayer up to heaven.  I had nothing to be worried about, I thought to myself … I had felt safe a second ago.

“I’m sorry, what?”

He reached out his hand, which he had previously been cradling against him.  It was marred and crippled.

“See, I have this crippled hand, I can’t do anything with it, it stops me, and I just need help with my razor, it’s cold out, I want it up”.

As he gestured down, I realized that by razor, he meant his zipper.  He was cold, and just wanted his zipper done up.  Embarrassment, shame, and yet, compassion and love came over me all at once. Such a simple thing, the ability to use my own working hand to pull the tab up on a zipper.  I put my food on my car and reached out, fumbling in my awkwardness over the situation.  I did it up, and asked him if it was good enough.  He smiled at me.

“Thank you. Thank you so much. Thank you.  Have a good evening.”

And he was gone as quickly as he had arrived.

I got into my car and sat still for a moment.  My inner monologue was jumping from thought to thought.  I had judged him.  I had known right away that there was nothing to fear, yet I still chose to ignore him.  He needed help.  I let him leave, too stunned with my own realizations to see if there was more I could do.

Had I been an example of God?  Had I shown His love?

Over the next few days, I thought about my interaction with this man.  I discussed it with friends who like I do, have a previous history of working with the homeless, in the nearby community and global outreaches.  (Which makes me even more aghast at my reaction to the man in the parking lot.  It’s not as though talking to those living on the streets is a new experience.)  The more we talked, the more I began to realize how I view helping those who have less than me.

I thought I knew how to help

Most of the time, when it comes to helping the homeless, I believe that giving things is the solution.  Be it material possessions, such as clothes, or food, or even giving of non material things, such as my time, and my attention.  I have preached love for years; that engaging, listening, and spending time with these people is the best way to help.

And yet in reality, I spend most of the time only giving and doing.  Handing out a sandwich, a pair of socks, slopping food into a bowl over a counter, never making more than a brief effort to have a conversation.

Yes, of course I talked to those I was interacting with, I asked questions, I listened.  I was listening for that one sentence that would open a door to have a real discussion, an opportunity to really meet a need.  But I did it with a “meet a need and move onto the next” mentality.  Is this how we show God’s love?  Is this how we become a living example of Jesus to these people?

The intentions behind actions

I want to suggest these things are not the ONLY part of loving people.  While practicality in serving others is an important part of the equation, it does not make up the whole.  It is the intention and the motive BEHIND the practicality that will transform the work you are doing.  The intention to love and help is what will build the relationships between you and the people you are serving.

Relationship is a must.  Not just a quick conversation in which you pilfer out the facts you need to meet a need and move on.  Not a brief conversation in which your underlying motives is conversion.  Relationship needs to be your primary desire in your everyday thinking.  If your aim is to go downtown, and your goal is to talk to people, it is a good start, but there is room to grow.

All of this thinking and praying has lead to me realize that I need to change my daily intentions in life. My goal should not be to engage with these people on a specific day, at a specific time, in a specific situation, but every day, at any time, for any reason at all. My goal needs to revolve around engaging in conversations that will bring about change; conversations that will encourage and inspire those I talk with to live their life to the fullest.

Like anyone else, homeless people long for intimacy.  They long to feel connected to the world, to those around them.  Author Erwin McManus puts it well: “All of us have this craving to belong, to connect.” (watch Erwin speak on this idea. )

Long Term Changes

I want to help transform lives, producing long-term changes, not just giving them a bottle of water and pointing them to a shelter.  Offering encouragement and understanding, along with useful resources is what will make a difference. I need to give my time, and any services that I can with a willing heart, full of love, overflowing with respect.

I have been convicted of this.  It has been a long time since I gave wholly of myself for more than an hour at most.  It took God using a homeless man, who spoke to me plainly, to show me how much room there is in my life to serve, and how much work I have left to do.

My calling is life long, my goals are God’s.  My work is just beginning.

If you are like me, or any other human in the known universe, you probably struggle with breaking bad habits.

I know that I was intended for something greater than this, that I have a greater purpose so I shouldn’t dwell on negatives.  Author Erwin McManus speaks about this in his book Soul Cravings, saying “We are designed with a need to move forward.  Without it our lives become only shadows of what they could have been”  (see Erwin speak more about our longing for Destiny.) Wallowing in bad habits is not an option.

Feeling stuck

Realizing that you are stuck in a negative pattern in a particular area of your life may not be easy.  When I become aware that I have been actively acting poorly, and have fallen into bad habits, I stop and take stock.  It is the most beneficial thing that you can do for yourself to move forward. There are some questions to ask so that you can assess where you are in the process:

• In what situations do you see yourself participating in the bad habit?
• Is it possibly a habitual thing you don’t think about or notice you are doing?
• Is it stress related?
• Are there certain environmental factors that lead to it happening or trigger it?

Stuck in a bad habit

Getting rid of the old habits will depend on being able to pin exactly what it is that brings about the negative actions time and time again. In the next few weeks, reflect on yourself whenever you notice your negative habits appearing.  After every occurrence, make notes about what happened before you found yourself in that situation, and what lead it to occur. What were you thinking and feeling before, during, and especially after it happened?

Once you have come to realize exactly what the old habit is, and WHY you continue to do it, you can focus on brining personal relief to the situation.  Do you need to work on self-confidence, being in groups, stress, or handling criticism?  There are many reasons that you may have slipped into this negative behavior.  I know that almost every time I catch myself engaging in a negative behavior pattern, it is a symptom of a far greater problem.  The diagnosis has been different for me nearly every time.  But the desire to face the problems head on and move past it has been a constant.

Refusing to be held in a pattern

After you acknowledge the reasons and feelings behind the behavior, you need to move onto the next step: Changing the habit.  What are alternative and healthier reactions that you can pursue the next time you feel yourself slipping? How can you change your ways of thinking and viewing the subject that will allow you to prosper instead on fall into a negative pattern?  Try to think of positive and healthy ways.

When you notice yourself slipping into the old ways, simply stop.  Take a breather.  Count in your head, take a deep breath and reassess the situation.  I would again suggest that you should write down what initially triggered you, and how you began to react.  This will help you avoid these reactions in the future and to start to respond in a positive manner.

Moving forward

Be patient.  Nothing is fixed in mere moments.  Getting rid of the old to allow room for the new in your life is not going to be an easy process.  You WILL slip into your old behaviors from time to time. But you are still moving in the right direction if you don’t give up!

Now keep the momentum going!  Be patient with yourself, and set up a system to address when you are slipping behind.  Have a point person.  Having someone that you feel comfortable to discuss these situations with will be greatly beneficial.  It’s healthy for us to simply share our thoughts and emotions, feelings and struggles with another who is not there to judge, but to offer understanding and support.

Do you want to talk to someone about making changes in your life? Email us and you’ll be matched with mentors who are trained volunteers with real life experience who can answer questions, point you to other resources, or just listen.

Upcoming online chats: Join us for daily online chats! One of our features will be “How often do you balance your check book?” on March 8 at 12:15 pm EST. Please join us to discuss how to balance your check book!

God has plans for my destiny, plans to utilize me in ways I don’t expect.   Author Erwin McManus speaks about this in his book Soul Cravings, saying “ We are designed with a need to move forward.  Without it our lives become only shadows of what they could have been”  (see Erwin speak more about our longing for Destiny) Wallowing in these bad habits is not an option.  Moving past them and expecting to be used by God is.

Moving past the negative

God has equipped me to move ahead and to rid of the old.  In fact, He not only equipped me to do so, He expects me to.  When I start my day, I need to give myself entirely over to God.  Giving up the old makes room for the new. The scripture speaks to us plainly on this topic:

Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body so that you obey its evil desires.  Do not offer the parts of your body to sin, as instruments of wickedness, but rather offer yourselves to God, as those who have been brought from death to life; and offer the parts of your body to him as instruments of righteousness.  For sin shall not be your master, because you are not under law, but under grace.  (Romans 6:12-14, NIV)

We are not slaves to old negative habits.  We are able to create positive and  changes in our lives through the strength of the Lord helping us along our daily walk.

I believe that God gives us clear direction on this matter.  Through prayer and our willful actions we can go to Him to help us change our lives, to rid ourselves of the old and make way for the new.  That being said, I also believe that God gave us the intelligence to be able to constructively look at our habits and make changes in practical ways.

Feeling stuck

The realization that you are stuck in a negative pattern in an area of your life may not be an easy one.  You might not notice it on your own.   It may take a long time to accept it.  But when you do, there is a desire to right these wrongs.  We as humans all have a fundamental craving to be good people.  We want to make the effort to change the negative when we see it, to right the wrongs.

When I become aware that I have been acting in a poor manner and have fallen into bad habits I stop and take stock.  It is the most beneficial thing that you can do for yourself to move forward. There are some questions to ask so that you can assess where you are in the process:

• In what situations do you see yourself participating in the bad habit?
• Is it possibly a habitual thing you don’t think about or notice you are doing?
• Is it something that happens in social situations?
• Is it stress related?
• How often does it happen?
• Are there certain environmental factors that lead to it happening or trigger it?

Taking stock

Take some time to stop and reflect on when you most notice your negative habits appearing.  After every occurrence,  note what happened before you found yourself in that place.  What were you thinking and feeling before, during and especially after it happened?  Realizing and validating how you felt afterwards can be a great motivator.  Getting rid of the old habits will rest on being able to pin exactly what it is that brings about the negative actions time and time again.

Now you should be able to accurately note if there is a reason that you see yourself continually engaging in the behavior.  Is this a negative and harming personality trait?  Is there a positive feeing or thought associated with it somehow?  What function does this action really have? To deflect?  To make yourself feel confident and prevent unease in a hard or stressful situation?

Why you do what you do

Once you have come to realize exactly what the old habit is, and WHY you continue to do it, you can focus on bringing personal relief to the situation.  Do you need to work on self-confidence, being in groups, stress, handling criticism?  Do you lack guidance, are you struggling with your relationship with God?  There are many reasons that you may have begun to slip into this negative behavior.  I know that almost every time I have caught myself engaging in a negative behavior pattern, it has been a symptom of a far greater problem.  The diagnosis has been different for me nearly every time.  But the desire to face the problems head on and move past it has been a constant.

Refusing to be held in a pattern

After you have acknowledged the reasons and feeling behind the behavior, you need to move onto the next step.  Changing the habit.  What are alternative and healthier reactions that you can pursue the next time you feel yourself slipping? How can you change your ways of thinking and viewing the subject that will allow you to prosper instead on fall into a negative pattern?  Try to think of positive and healthy ways

When you notice yourself slipping into the old ways, simply stop.  Take a breather.  Count in your head, take a deep breath and reassess the situation.  Why are you reacting like this? What exactly is it that you are feeling that is propelling you into this action?  What are some ways that you can level out again and bring this negative old behavior into the new, positive pattern?

Do a 180.  I would again suggest that after, you even write down what initially triggered you, and how you began to react.  Assessment of these moments will help you to avoid them in the future, and to start of reacting in a positive manner.   The scriptures speak to this.  “And have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator” (Colossians 3:10 NIV)

Moving forward

Now you are moving in the right direction…forward.  Keep the momentum going.  Be patient with yourself, and set up a system to address when you are slipping behind.  Have a point person.  Having someone that you feel comfortable discussing these situations with will soon show to be greatly beneficial.

I am by no means saying that will be an easy thing to open up to someone, but it helps to be accountable to another person and have them be accountable to you.  As brothers and sister in Christ, we are not only accountable to the Lord — “So then each of us shall give account of himself to God.” (Romans 14:12) — but to one another as well. “Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted. Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” (Galatians 6:1-2).

On an simpler level, it is healthy and good for humans to share our thoughts and emotions, feelings and struggles with another who is not there to judge, but to offer understanding and support.  Just remember that if they do call you out on something, that they are doing it with good intentions, and that you have asked them to do that.

Patience is a virtue

Be patient.  Nothing is fixed in mere moments.  Be prepared to commit as much time and effort as necessary to make yourself healthy mentally and emotionally.  Getting rid of the old to allow room for the new in your life is not going to be an easy process.  You WILL slip into your old behaviors from time to time.  What does matter though, is the realization that you are doing this.  Once you are aware, fixing and aligning yourself in positive behavioral patterns will become easier and more successful as time goes on.

In the end, remember to talk to God about your troubles.  Be in conversation with Him.  Ask, and listen for your response.  Sharing with Him and trusting, being in His word and opening yourself up to learning will be the greatest thing you can do to help yourself serve Him.

Do you want to talk to someone about making changes in your life? Do you have questions about how to change your ways to God’s? Email us and you’ll be matched with mentors who are trained volunteers with real life experience who can answer questions, point you to other resources, or just listen.

Day 50

This week marked the 50th day since the Deepwater Horizon oil rig exploded due to drilling, killing 11 and causing the largest off shore oil spill in US history.

It is estimated that 1,900,000 to 16,000,000 liters (500,000 to 4,200,000 US gallons) of oil is flowing out of the wellhead, although the exact rate is still unknown to the public.  The ongoing slick covers roughly 2,500 square miles. (For comparison, the slick covers an area about eight times the size of New York City.) There are also additional underwater plumes that will contribute to raising that toll. (cnn.com)

The implications that this ordeal holds for the livelihood of the residents of the area, as well as the various companies and people involved in the disaster itself are astounding.  The politics and finger pointing are not things I need to be involved with, but I do want to learn about the implications for my world.

The oil spill is an environmental disaster. As of June 8, volunteers from over 60 marine organizations worldwide had taken in over 1000 birds, 50 turtles, and are on a constant look out for a group of manatees that migrate to the gulf coast every summer.  These are only the animals that can be accounted for.  What about all the dolphins, whales and fish that call these waters home? The catastrophic effect that this will have on the ocean and land is something that will affect the planet for many years.

The further reaching implications of this event have made me take stop and ask myself: What am I accountable for?

Did I cause this oil spill?  No.

Am I guilty of causing damage to the planet daily in numerous other ways?  Yes.

We were given this earth by God:

“So God created man in His own image; He created him in the image of God; He created them male and female. God blessed them, and God said to them, ‘Be fruitful, multiply, fill the earth, and subdue it. Rule the fish of the sea, the birds of the sky, and every creature that crawls on the earth.’ God also said, ‘Look, I have given you every seed-bearing plant on the surface of the entire earth, and every tree whose fruit contains seed. This food will be for you, for all the wildlife of the earth, for every bird of the sky, and for every creature that crawls on the earth—everything having the breath of life in it. [I have given] every green plant for food.’ And it was so” (Genesis 1:27-30)

He gave it to us to guard, to care for, to respect, and to love:

“The Lord God took the man and placed him in the Garden of Eden to work it and watch over it” (Genesis 2:15)

When we willingly pollute our planet, when we abuse it by dirtying the air, and put poison into our waters for material gain, we are doing an injustice against our God:

“And I brought you into a plentiful land to enjoy its fruits and its good things. But when you came in, you defiled my land and made my heritage an abomination.” (Jeremiah 2:7)

Humans have marred the Earth time and time again:

“The Earth dries up and withers, the world languishes and withers, the exalted of the earth languish. The earth is defiled by its people; they have disobeyed the laws, violated the statutes and broken the everlasting covenant.” (Isaiah 24:4-5)

As Christians, it is clear that we are accountable to look after this planet. But how? Can I stop disasters such as this oil spill from happening?  I am hard pressed to think so.  Can I stop disasters such as emission rates from cars tainting the air and harmful detergents spilling into the world’s waters? Yes, I can.  There are attainable ways to begin to do our share in looking after the environment, such as:

•    Choosing to turn lights off to conserve energy
•    Taking the bus or carpooling
•    Choosing environmentally friendly detergent
•    Supporting animal conservations
•    Being aware of what materials products are made of
•    Financially supporting environment conservation volunteer agencies

These, and a multitude of other options, are at our fingertips.  How can we continue to say no?

This is not just a personal calling. It isn’t something that I have taken an interest in because I like wearing hemp and solely living off what I am able to grow. The soil beneath my feet is His, and I don’t want to return anything to God in sub-par condition. This is something that as a child of God I am called to do.

What accountability do you feel you have to caring for the earth?

Is there something in your life you would like to take action to change but aren’t sure how? Talk with a mentor about it

New Year’s Resolutions used to be my enemies.

Why is it that we as humans even have this tradition in place?  It inevitably results in failure for me almost every year.  Except for this one.  This year, I have actually attained the goal that I resolved to attain.  Wonder of wonder, miracle of miracles!

My secret to being successful this year was to aim lower than other years.  That way I expect less of myself, and it’s easier to get a win.  You’re probably thinking “Really?  That is how you are going to tell me to live? To aim lower in order to win?”  And to that I say, NO.

What I am trying to express is that people need to be realistic in setting their goals. Set milestones in your life that are attainable.  If you are able to actually achieve what you are setting out to do, you will walk away happy, with a sense of accomplishment.  More importantly you will feel that there is so much more that you are able to accomplish.  Do not expect the impossible of yourself, or you will feel like a failure when you fail to meet that goal. We were meant to do great things!  Author Erwin McManus said something once that stuck with me “You are not supposed to just passively enter into tomorrow.  You are supposed to be actively engaging in the creation of tomorrow”.  How true, but unfortunately, how easily forgotten.

I have heard people say to me, “God expects the best of me” and use it as a reason to see themselves as failures when they don’t live up to lofty expectations of themselves.

It is also my firm belief that God blessed us with minds that are able to recognize when we are in over our heads.  Yes, God does expect the best of us, but He sees each of us as the individual that He created us to be.  It has been a long road for me to come to realize this, and one that I will continue to walk on daily with Him.  But I know it is the truth.

When I set out with a goal for myself, I do it after talking to God about it. Isaiah 55:6  says “Seek the Lord while he may be found, call on him while he is near” (NIV).  God loves to be in conversation with his children.  I take an inward look to see what is realistic for myself.  This does not by any means go to say that I do not push myself.  If we never push ourselves, we will never grow, never move forward.  God expects me to try and learn, but he does not except me to live in failure.  He wants only the best for his children.

When you set a goal that through hard work, and perseverance, and with God’s help, you will see positive change happening.  That is why resolutions exist; to succeed at them, to create a positive change in ones life, to further yourself.  I find for myself that once I have achieved one goal, I am eager to move onto the next one and work hard at it.  Small planned steps will get you further than blind leaps.

When I take stock of how I am doing with my New Years Resolutions at this 4-month point, I feel good for the first year ever.  Have I lost 50 pounds? Do I have hair longer than any other person I know?  Am I fluent in Italian? Of course not, those are unrealistic goals that would have set me up for failure, would have created a negative feeling towards myself. However, I have committed to fitness and am exercising weekly.  I don’t have any split ends.  And I can now properly communicate to any Italian that I am in need of a telephone and want to eat an apple.

For me, small steps in the right direction means getting a win in the end.

Is your best never good enough? Talk to a mentor

Secrets secrets are no fun.  Secrets secrets hurt someone.

But who are you keeping your secrets from?

In a recent interview, well-known and beloved children’s author Robert Munsch shared a secret with the world.   Munsch’s books like The Paper Bag Princess and Love You Forever have sold 30 million copies worldwide, and he took a big chance when he admitted that he is a recovering cocaine addict and alcoholic (clean for about four months) as well as being diagnosed as obsessive-compulsive and manic-depressive.  Surprised?

Munsch goes on to note on his website that although news to his fans, it was nothing new to his family. “They have been a big support to me over the years, and I would not have been able to do this without their love and understanding.”

Interestingly, he goes on to ask that “Everyone will talk to their kids honestly, listen to them, and help them to do their best with their own challenges”.  Wise words.  People who struggle with difficulties in life still have much to offer to society in my opinion.

But how will the parents of these youngsters view him now?  For years, he has been known to have a gift for communicating with children.  He is able to span the communication gap between the parents and the child, building bridges through humor and outlandish circumstances to entertain, yet also teach children important life lessons.  Will people be quick to focus on the negative and turn a blind eye to the positive impacts he is making?

In society, there is a reason secrets exist.  People are afraid to admit to wrongdoings, to weakness, to mistakes, for fear that their past transgressions will cloud their present, and more importantly, their future.  Many feel that although they have sought forgiveness, and done everything to move past their negative behaviors, that it will be held against them for forever. They feel like they will never meet the standard others have made for them.

Do you feel that way? I bet Robert Munsch does.  I know I do.  But you should know that you don’t have to be held a prisoner by your secret.  The truth can set you free.  Take a page from Robert Munsch’s book, and begin to let others know about your secret, begin to acknowledge your problems and let those around you help you move past them.  So many better things are waiting.  You can take a look at this life lesson here, called “Secrets: How to Stop Hiding” for help with this issue.

I know that I struggle with sharing secrets, past mistakes, or hurts that I have caused others.  But sharing with others is a good way to explore your feelings and begin to take control of your life again.  Sometimes talking to someone can help in surprising ways.  Feel free to talk to one of our mentors.

What do you think?  Do you have secrets that you are keeping that you don’t want to anymore?  Are you worried about what those around you will think of you if you do share?  Let us know what you think; we’d be interested to hear it.

Upcoming online chats: Join us for daily online chats! One of our features will be “Spirituality in marriage” on May 30 at 12:15 pm EDT Please join us to discuss spirituality in your marriage.