FamilyLife is a part of the Power to Change network of ministries. Go on a Faith Adventure - reach your world.
Wednesday May 23, 2012
Back in my single days a friend told me she loved me. I was surprised. It was awkward. I did not know what to say because I did not love her in the same way. She was dear friend but I was not “in love” with her. I will never forget her response. She said, “I love you and it is a gift. I expect nothing from you.” Wow, that was profound. The unconditional nature of that statement set me free in the relationship; we continued as close friends.
Unconditional love is hard to find, yet unforgettable when you do find it!
Unconditional love (a gift) freely given provides security in your relationship. Unconditional love is characterized by a willingness to GIVE TO your partner unselfishly.
“Love IS patient and kind. Love is NOT jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does NOT demand its own way. It is NOT irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does NOT rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, IS always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.” – St. Paul’s Letter to the Corinthians (I Cor. 13:4-7).
Action: Does your love have strings attached? Will you consider giving the gift of unconditional love?
Wednesday May 16, 2012
Sometimes picturing the worst case scenario helps to set the right perspective. If breaking up is the worst case scenario in your relationship, picture a staircase with breaking up at the bottom. If the top of the staircase is a great relationship, where are you on the staircase? Which way are you moving? What will take you up, toward a great relationship, and what will move you down toward a breakup?
Action Step: Discuss together your relationship direction; take inventory of your relationship. Be intentional about a plan to re-direct (or stay on track) on the goal of a great relationship. Plan some time together this week to the discuss priorities each of you have that will move you in the right direction.
Wednesday May 9, 2012
Many authors talk about something akin to the emotional bank account. None have made it more popular than Stephen Covey in the classic book The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. (p. 188). The concept is that our actions toward others will make deposits or withdrawals from an emotional/relational account. As with a personal bank account a large balance builds security and a low balance creates concern, while a deficit is stressful. Continued overdrafts can lead to bankruptcy. The same is true relationally/emotionally. We all make withdrawals, intentional or unintentional. Good relationships require a positive flow. Deposits are made through kindness, consideration, appreciation and respect.
Action: Ask yourself a couple of questions. How is the emotional balance in your marriage? What ways can you make a deposit this today? This week? On a regular basis?
Book: The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People - Stephen Covey
Wednesday May 2, 2012
Communication can be a challenge at the best of times, so it is sometimes helpful to have an understanding of communication styles. In the Life Ready series called Marriage Oneness, host Tim Lundy talks about the different ways we communicate. This is not an issue of good versus bad communication, but just understanding different styles:
Land the Plane versus Enjoy the Ride communicators.
Share Your Feelings versus Just the Facts communicators.
Think Out Loud versus Let’s Take Turns communicators.
Understanding your style can help you relax, laugh and be a better communicator! If you are in a relationship with a “Land the Plane” person and you are an “Enjoy the Ride” person it would be good to identify that difference. It’s amazing how understanding differences can help reduce stress. I tend to be a “Land the Plane” communicator, and my wife is more of an “Enjoy the Ride” conversationalist, so just knowing that makes us both more patient with each other.
Action: Go to a coffee shop. Discuss and identify your styles of communication. Identify when you have felt most frustrated and how understanding each other’s style might help.
Resource Link: Life Ready Series
Wednesday April 25, 2012
Everyone wants the ideal: Home, car, kids, friends, everything! What about finding the ideal relationship?
There is danger in attempting to FIND the ideal; it results in unrealistic expectations! Our culture suggests we should find the perfect soul mate, but the reality is: that person does not exist! No one will realistically meet all the expectations of your perfect soul mate. This common myth sets people up for major disappointment. A better approach is to find someone with whom you want to spend the rest of your life and then work together to create an ideal relationship with that person, becoming soul mates over time. It takes work and it might take a life time but the process will be worth the challenge!
Action: Accept the imperfections in your spouse. Have fun holding hands on the journey of life creating your ideal relationship through the shared joys and sorrows, successes and failures of your life together.
Wednesday April 18, 2012
An increasing factor in marriage breakdown is over commitment. A fast-paced life facilitates constant physical and emotional exhaustion. Relationship experts cite over commitment in the top five relationship killers!
How are you doing? Healthy relationships require time and attention. How often do you sit, talk or just hang out with no urgent demands? It takes self discipline not to get swept along in the hurried life. Who sets your agenda; you or someone else? Are the expectations realistic?
Symptoms of over commitment and exhaustion are hard on your relationship, they include:
Headaches Sleeplessness Irritability Emotional outbursts Loss of motivation
Relationships take energy! If you give your energy to everything else first, your relationship will suffer and may not survive!
Action: Be intentional; take a serious look at your schedule and make deliberate decisions. Pace, energy and capacity are unique to the individual; so do not to compare yourself to others. Are YOU going to survive or thrive if you keep going at this pace? Don’t be fooled by the myth, “It’s just for a little while longer and then things will slow down.”
Couples are invited to gather for a fun event filled with humor, fresh insight, and new strategies for lifelong love. The Becoming Soul Mates seminar is for everyone—newlyweds, “oldyweds,” seriously dating, engaged couples—those wanting to make a bad relationship better or a good relationship great.
Here’s some of what attendees will learn:
| • | The Three Most Important Misbeliefs of Marriage |
| • | The Single Sentence That Can Revolutionize Your Relationship |
| • | The Three Essential Ingredients of Lasting Love |
| • | The Immeasurable Value of Laughter |
| • | Discover Your Unique Love Style |
| • | The Two Steps to Communicate with Instant Understanding |
| • | How to Reduce and Resolve Inevitable Conflict |
| • | Marriage Mentoring and the “Boomerang Effect” |
A date with the Parrotts will not only equip you with tools to strengthen your relationship, but will also be fun and entertaining. Their charisma, humor, practical advice and vulnerability about their own marital struggles have placed them in high demand as conference speakers.
Becoming Soul Mates is a comprehensive relationship-strengthening seminar designed by nationally known relationship experts Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott. The Parrotts co-direct the Center for Relationship Development at Seattle Pacific University, a ground-breaking program dedicated to teaching the basics of good relationships.
Collectively, Les and Leslie have written more than two dozen books that have sold over one million copies in more than two dozen languages including best-selling and Gold-medallion winner Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts. Other popular titles include Love Talk, Your Time-Starved Marriage, The Love List, Becoming Soul Mates, Questions Couples Ask, Shoulda Woulda Coulda, The Control Freak and High-Maintenance Relationships. They have appeared on many shows such as Oprah, CBS This Morning, The View, The 700 Club, Focus on the Family and NBC Nightly News with Tom Brokaw. Their work has been written about in USA Today, New York Times, Family Circle, Redbook, Men’s Health, Glamour, Modern Bride etc.
The Parrotts were recently proclaimed New York Times #1 Best Selling Authors with their new release book – “The Hour that Matters Most – the surprising power of the family meal”.
Don’t miss this dynamic couple with their insightful and inspirational teaching when they come to the lower mainland!
Seminar Information:
Fraser Valley Seminar:
Friday, June 22nd, 2012
Langley Events Centre – Banquet Room http://langleyeventscentre.com/
7888 200 St. Langley, BC
7:00 pm – 10:00 pm (doors at 6:15 pm)
Vancouver Area Seminar:
Saturday, June 23rd, 2012
Tenth Church
11 West 10th Ave. Vancouver, BC
10:00 am – 1:00 pm (doors at 9:15 am)
For more information about the Parrott’s, visit their website at www.LesandLeslie.com
For more information about the Becoming Soul Mates seminars in the Fraser Valley and Vancouver, BC regions, visit www.worshipvancouver.com
Neil Josephson has been married for over 30 years. He’s discovered that the biggest challenge in his marriage hasn’t been [...]
Subscribe 
Talk to a Mentor
Need Prayer?
Join Chat
Life Lessons
1-800-247-3180 | 604-514-1951