Pour a mug of hot chocolate and settle in with a Christmas life lesson. 

The Carols of Christmas

Carols are one of the surest signs of Christmas.  When you hear them in the mall or start to sing them on Sunday morning you know that Christmas is well and truly here.  This delightful series of seven lessons digs deeper into the stories behind such beloved carols as “O Holy Night”, “Angels We Have Heard on High”, “We Three Kings” and more. Take the Carols of Christmas lesson

The Gifts of Christmas

At this time of year, malls are full of people who think they understand what Christmas is all about. On the very first Christmas in the land of Israel, there were very different levels of understanding about what was actually happening. What is your understanding of Christmas? Come with us on a journey today as we explore what Christmas can mean to us. Take the Gifts of Christmas lesson

Advent Journeys

Mary and Joseph, the wise men, the coming Messiah – it seems like everyone was going somewhere that first Christmas. In a season when so many of us have somewhere we need to get to there’s much we can learn from these ancient travelers.  As we near the Christmas season this year, join us in a fresh look at this familiar story of Joseph, Mary and a journey to Bethlehem. Take the Advent Journeys lesson

One of my fondest childhood memories

Every day we would open one of the cardboard doors and behind each one we’d find a tiny chocolate. Every one of the chocolates was uniquely molded in a Christmas related shape. It was a fun diversion for us as kids as we impatiently awaited the arrival of Christmas day. But it doesn’t tell us much about the actual season of Advent. What is Advent?

The season of Advent begins on the fourth Sunday before Christmas, somewhere between November 27 and December 3, depending on the year.  Advent is the period leading up to Christmas, which celebrates the birth of Jesus of Nazareth, also known as Jesus Christ. It is unknown when this tradition first began, but this period of waiting is often seen in the Christian tradition as a reminder that the world remains waiting for Jesus’ return.

The traditional color of Advent is purple, the color often associated with royalty, although today blue and red are also used. Modern day celebrations of Advent include  Advent calendars, Advent wreaths, lighting special Advent candles, and a series of themed Sunday messages leading up to Christmas day.

Take the next step:

Was Jesus born on December 25th?
Take a lesson: Discovering Advent
Home Alone for the Holidays – When the most joyous time of year … isn’t.

Do you or your family have Advent traditions? Share them with us in the comments!

Image credit: tollens, used with permission, Creative Commons 2.0 License.

Heartbreak and loss, loneliness and disappointment stand out in sharp contrast to the sparkly excitement of Christmas. An article I was reading earlier quoted Kate O’Dwyer Randall, a Chaplin, who said,

“Holidays in our culture are often about families, and families are not always happy institutions.  I think that particularly if you’re facing a death or a divorce, the ‘empty chair syndrome’ becomes very real at this time of year.”

The article went on to say that many churches now have “Longest Night” or “Blue Christmas” services.  These services offer a more subdued atmosphere to welcome those who want to acknowledge Christmas, but can’t face the ebullient joy of a well intentioned “Joy to the World!”

Christmas gets all glammed up, but at the heart of it all, it celebrates a very quiet moment.   Christmas began with a little baby in a stable.  It started with two parents who were tired from a long journey and caught off guard that the baby would choose this particular moment to be born.  It wasn’t glamorous, and it wasn’t shiny but it did mark the moment that hope came to the world.  (If you’re rusty on the details, you can read the Christmas story from the book of Luke.)

As I was reading about the Longest Night services, I found this poem by Ann Weems from her book Kneeling in Bethlehem.  Her poem sums it up perfectly:

The Christmas Spirit
Is that hope
Which tenaciously clings
To the hearts of the faithful
And announces
In the face
Of any Herod the world can produce
And all the inn doors slammed in our faces
And all the dark nights of our souls
That with God
All things are possible,
That even now
Unto us
A child is born!
~ Ann Weems

If you would like someone to talk to, we are here waiting to talk and listen. May you continue to cling tenaciously to the hope that we celebrate, even now.

Take the next step:

Read the Christmas story from the book of Luke
How to celebrate when you’re not together
Home alone for the holidays 

Through the curtains my husband handed me a towel.  As I wrapped the fresh white towel around my shivering shoulders, deep warmth wrapped itself all around my thawing frame.  My husband had warmed the towel in the dryer!  I cannot describe how magical it felt.

The warmth of the towel seeped into my skin as my husband’s thoughtfulness saturated my soul.  I felt loved.  What a gift! It was a simple act of kindness that warmed my body and heart.

Now… before you start thinking that this kind of romance naturally occurs within the Born household, can I set the record straight?  This wasn’t my hubby’s own idea.  Nope.  He didn’t come up with this on his own. He got it from a book.  But… who cares? As I enshrouded my body with that warm towel, I didn’t give a hoot where the idea came from.  I was relishing in his implementation of the idea. That was the gift.

Have you got a Christmas gift for your spouse yet?  According to the guy on the radio, if you don’t have your gifts by now… it’s too late.  But I don’t believe him.  Come on, they’ve been playing Christmas music for months already.  The pressure tactics of consumerism are little over the top.

For Christmas this year, my husband and I are giving each other the gift of attending a marriage conference together.  Now, marriage conferences aren’t cheap, so we’ll be saving up for it. But I’m thinking it’ll be more like an investment. One of the greatest gifts you can give your spouse is the desire to learn new ways of saying “I love you” – whether the ideas come from a book, a marriage seminar or from your own creativity.  No matter what stage a marriage is at (and we’ve been through ebbs and flows of our own) there is always hope for a deeper and more meaningful relationship.

So with the warm towel in mind, think about giving a gift that will change your relationship.  Find out new ways to say I love you.  Pick up a marriage book.  Plan to attend a marriage seminar.  Go for coffee with a friend and share some ideas.  Choosing to learn new ways to love your spouse is a life-changing gift. Now that’s a real gift.

Take the next step:

Find a marriage conference near you: US schedule Canadian schedule
Do you have questions about marriage? Come talk to a mentor

Originally posted on dorisdoumaborn.wordpress.com . Used with permission.

In our family December 1^st is one of the most sacred days of the year.

It happens almost the same way each year.  I untangle the outdoor Christmas lights which mysteriously get entwined no matter how carefully I lay them in their tote. (I have long believed that sometime during the year these cords awake from their slumber and play several games of Twister until they are so entangled they can’t move).  Once the Christmas lights are in place with the star at the center, I move indoors to assemble the tree.

Traditions are vital to families

Yes it is fake but hey, this is our tradition and we like it.  I discovered I could disassemble it with the lights still on it, place it in its box and presto next year save time and some frustration.  Then the girls, and now my son-in-law, set out to decorate the tree, amid comments like, “Remember when I made this one? No you didn’t I painted that. Look at the bottom, I have my name on it” or “Do we still want to put these on the tree?” My dear wife is in the kitchen adding her perfect touch to this day. The smells of corn chowder and fresh buns waft (always wanted to use that word) through the house.

Dr. Bill Doherty, Professor in the Department of Family Social Science at the University of Minnesota described the importance of traditions saying:

There are so many ways for families to move apart and not connect that if you just go with the flow the flow is going to do disperse you. . . . The biggest reason that it’s important to have some family rituals and traditions is to be able to make sure you have an opportunity to connect on a regular basis.

Family traditions are an anchor in busy times, something to look back and something to look forward to.

As we sit down for our meal and look at the tree lit up in our dark front room, we feel a connectedness that good traditions bring to a family.  Traditions don’t just happen, they take effort which is why we keep December 1^st sacred.  It comes first before school, work, meetings or appointments.   We have the whole year to make sure our schedules are clear that day so we are all free to spend the day together.

Over the years our traditions have evolved and as our family continues to grow they will change and flex.  What makes a great tradition? When with fondness and a touch of nostalgia a family member says “We always…” Traditions are sacred to us and we always look forward to starting our celebration of Jesus birth with our sacred day December 1.

Take the next step:

10 great Christmas traditions
Read the stories behind Christmas carols
Missing your own family? Come talk to a mentor

The basics of the cartoon were laid out within a few hours. It would include ice-skating; a pageant (Mendelson and Schulz had both flubbed parts in school shows); a mix of Christmas carols and Guaraldi’s contemporary jazz; and the message that Christmas is really about the joyful miracle of Jesus’s birth.

However, Hartman notes that “Television executives hated it from the start.” After all, one of it’s most famous scenes quotes directly from the KJV Bible. They were scared that the show was “too religious”, even in 1965.

Despite the challenges, Charles Schultz was committed to telling the real Christmas story and giving a proper Christmas message. He held tightly to his Christian beliefs and fought to keep the show true to his vision. His perseverance resulted in the special being watched by 15 million people during its first airing and millions every year since, as well as being honored with both an Emmy and a Peabody award.

Do you have memories of watching this Christmas special? How can we we encourage our friends to watch the show not just as a cultural phenomenon, but as a pointer to deeper truths?

Related:
A link to share with seeking friends this Christmas: The Real Christmas Story
Get past the unnecessary: How to Break with Tradition

Feature image credit: Great Beyond, used under Creative Commons license

Yesterday I had a great conversation with an old friend.  Although I have many years on her, she’s an ‘old friend’ because our friendship is an old one.  Years old.  We’ve enjoyed many conversations, prayer times and shared experiences in work and life.  She watched my family grow up and laughed at their funny stories.  She house-sat, babysat and just sat on my couch with me while we enjoyed a cup of coffee.  I’ve watched her grow up, get married and now I’m getting a kick out of the stories about her children.

“One of my friends had a brilliant idea,” she said on the phone yesterday.  “A couple of years ago, she made a list of all the people that she didn’t want to lose contact with. I made her list”.  She laughed.  I was awestruck.

I’m a list person. I write out my ‘To-Do’ list and then derive great joy from checking off the completed tasks.  In fact, if I do something that is not on the list, I’ll even jot-it-down just so I can check-it-off! You list- people out there know exactly what I’m talking about.  So a friendship list was a merger of two great things: lists and friendships.

I love the concept of recognizing those who are important to you and then being intentional in maintaining those friendships. Friendships are important.  We are not meant to walk this road of life alone.  These lists may change.  Throughout our life we are continually meeting people and as a wise friend once told me, “friendships can be for a reason, for a season or for a life-time”.

The Christmas season is a great time to reconnect with friends and to create new friendships. So make a list.  Who are the people in your life that you don’t want to lose connection with?  Make a list including names of people that could act as mentors in your life, or people that you could be a mentor to. List family friends, couple friends and those ‘inner circle of my life’ friends. Life is busy and always changing.  In order to hold onto friendships and to make them grow it is like anything else that is rewarding – it takes time and effort.  We need to be intentional.  And being intentional is what list-making is all about.

Making a list, checking it twice. Now you’ve got that annoying tune stuck in your head for the next couple hours!  Yup – I can be naughty and nice.

Read More
Helping friends through an unwanted divorce
Authentic friendship
Involving your friends in Christmas

Originally posted on dorisdoumaborn.wordpress.com . Used with permission.

I have lived at least three days’ drive from my grandparents and most of my extended family my entire life

I have a great relationship with my parents, but I wasn’t always good at maintaining this bond.  My days in college were spent procrastinating about calling home and rolling my eyes when my father not-so-subtly mentioned that “they never hear from me”. But as my family has grown and changed, and I’ve made the transition from college student to married adult – with a whole new set of family to keep track of – I’ve come to value the connection with family much more.

I’ve had to come up with ways to stay connected across the miles. This is even more important  at Christmas. Splitting my time between my husband’s family and mine means we’re always spending the holidays without one group or the other.  I’ve found these 8 ways to stay connected, no matter how far apart we are:

1. Get everyone to use Skype. It’s taken time, but one by one my in-laws, parents and some siblings have gotten a free Skype account.   Skype lets you connect through instant messages and video chats for free online. I talk to my parents while I cook dinner and take my laptop around the apartment to show them my Christmas decorations.   When they are all together watching football on Sunday one of them sends me a message and that makes me feel included in their family time. On Christmas Day I plan to video chat with the whole family.  You could video chat while you open gifts.  I know other people who make a daily date for grandparents and grand-babies to “play” on the computer. It’s free, easy to learn and once everyone has the hang of it, it can bring your distant loved ones right into your home.
2. Start a blog. At first my blog was just a fun way to experiment with the little code knowledge I was picking up at work, but it developed into a way to share my life with my family. I write about what’s going on in my life, put up pictures and even connected my Twitter account to my blog so that my parents (who are not into Twitter… yet!) can even enjoy the small updates I do there.  It saves me time from having to write lengthy emails about the same event to different family members and is a great way to share photos without worrying about email size and attachments. Recently my dad even started his own travel blog and is now returning the favor, letting me stay updated on his trips.
3. Get phone cards. If you’re like my husband and I, you don’t have much need for a home phone line. We both have smart phones and spend more of our time texting than calling. But this has put a barrier up for us when it comes to calling grandma and grandpa and other family members who don’t have Skype, blogs, or even computers. We started buying phone cards and keeping them by the phone and in our wallets. For the occasional call to Grandma it’s much cheaper than getting a long distance plan.
4. Find inexpensive and simple ways to wish them well at holidays. I live in Canada and my parents, sister and brother all live in the States.  You wouldn’t believe how annoying shipping across the border can be (don’t get me started on gift cards). I’ve had to look for ways to wish them happy birthday and merry Christmas that work across borders and arrive on time.  Some websites, like Etsy.com, will accept Canadian PayPal payments and delivery to the US so I can have gifts shipped directly to my family. E cards are another great option.  If all else fails, start an arrangement with a family member (in my case, my shopaholic, sale-finding sister) who is willing to be your personal elf and save you the cost of shipping.
5. Put family in your calendar. I am not good at remembering important dates and have forgotten more than a couple family birthdays.  I am trying to schedule events in my email calendar in advance of the special occasion. This alerts me to the birthday, holiday or anniversary in enough time to mail a card or call my “family elf” (see Tip #4!) and arrange  to have something there on the special day. I have found if I don’t make these events as important as the work meetings I schedule, they get forgotten and I miss an opportunity to show my family I am thinking of them.
6. Sign up for seat sale alerts. Most airlines and discount ticket websites will allow you to specify what cities you’re keeping your eye of for cheap flights and will email alert you if the price falls. I recommend travelocity.com, orbitz.com, hotwire.com. Staying on top of the ups and downs of travel costs helps my husband and me maximize the times we can see our relatives each year.  Get your family involved in looking too.  My mother-in-law has emailed us more than once with WestJet deals and we’ve been able to visit her more affordable.
7. Do something together. How do you do something together when you don’t even live in the same country? I’ve found that there are ways to share a common bond or activity that don’t require two people are in the same room at the same time.  My sister and I are putting together our family photo calendar, a yearly tradition we took over last year. Our extended relatives email us the photos, we both upload to Snapfish.com and work on designing it as a team.  It’s like a sisters’ scrap-booking project without paper! Other options might be making a family fantasy sports pool or doing the same craft and uploading photos on Facebook of your progress for the other to see.
8. Keep the lines of communication open and the relationship a priority. Whatever your reasons for being away from loved ones, they can cause some to feel negative emotions from time to time about why you wouldn’t want to be closer to them. Perhaps most of your family lives close together and you are the one consistently absent from family functions because life has carried you elsewhere.  Whatever the situation, resist the temptation to let the lines of communication go quiet. Initiate connection even when it may be hard or when you feel out of the loop. Pulling back will only add to the miles between you and feed the fears that the relationship may be lost. Take opportunities, like Christmas, to show them with the efforts you make that they are a valuable part of your life and that your relationship can continue to grow – even if you live far apart.

How to be home alone for the holidays
Do you need to talk? We have trained mentors who would love to talk to you.

Part of our plan is that we save each month toward Christmas, so that when December comes, the money is ready to go. If we find a great item in September, the money is available and we can purchase the item is then set aside for Christmas.  Our general rule is three gifts per child.  I heard once that Jesus received three gifts from the wise men and that became our policy.  We have a plan and it really simplifies the process.  We give each child a book, an outfit, and a fun item that is age appropriate.  Stocking stuffers are both fun and practical – underwear, socks, shampoo, and some dollar store items they will enjoy, and of course chocolate.

One other simple rule of thumb is that we don’t buy gifts for our neighbors, friends’ kids, and others. We do baking or make something for those special people and set some time aside to spend with them.  Spend time with those we love that is the best gift of all.

This has worked for us.  We stay on a reasonable spending plan and are not hit with huge bills in January.  Our kids do not have an attitude of entitlement and they are grateful people.  Our goal as parents is not to give them everything they want, but to raise responsible people who function well in society that get along with others.  It has really helped to have a plan.

Perhaps the apostle John has some advice for us: “Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth.” (1 John 3:18) This does not mean that we do not preach the gospel; certainly we must. But perhaps a person will be more open to hearing our words if we express God’s love to them first.

This year my church is performing their Christmas concert, but with a twist. This year we are offering a Christmas dinner beforehand, and inviting the community to come. Church members are expected to pay, but the dinner is free for community members or guests (the concert is free for everyone). This is one way we’re trying to reach out with the Christmas message the way Jesus asked us to (see Luke 14:12-14). Especially at a time when so many people are so cynical of the whole Christmas season, we want to promote the real message of Christmas, the life-transforming message of Jesus’ birth.

You might ask: How does the approaching Christmas season make you feel? Anxious? Stressed? Worried? Sad? If so, Power to Change offers several articles on the subject that you can share with non-Christian friends who might be feeling this way:

Finding some Peace on Earth – For many people, “peace on Earth” is not what they think about when they think of Christmas. This article explores ways to find peace during this busy season.

Home Alone for the Holidays – Not everyone has someone to be with for the holidays. Inviting someone who will be alone to share the time with you and your family can be a wonderful time of bonding.

The Christmas Story – Beginning with Luke 2:1-20 and ending with a short gospel presentation, this presents the real story of why we celebrate Christmas, and should do so with joy!

Do you have any tips to share about involving non-Christian friends in your holiday celebrations without compromising your beliefs? Please share them with us below! (And feel free to contact us if you are feeling “Anxious? Stressed? Worried? Sad?” this Christmas season.)

Image credit: Chris_J, used with permission, Creative Commons 2.0 License.