A couple of weeks ago I was right in the middle of downtown Vancouver

On a usual day, people downtown don’t try to touch you, but on this day there were open smiles and invitations.  People wanted to connect, to celebrate together.  So I walked down the street slapping hands with people I will never meet again. It struck me how easy it is to connect when we’re willing.  How often we hold ourselves back from that.

Holding back

The desire to hold back is very common.  I think we do it to protect ourselves, to keep from getting hurt.  Even in church it’s not always easy to say hi to the new person or to invite a family you don’t know over for lunch.  We’ve convinced ourselves that we shouldn’t want that connection.  But the idea of separateness is a very modern one.  Not so long ago living communally was vital for survival.

Just last month my brother was in India and had the pleasure of participating in a community lunch.  Dozens of people were up on the roof all preparing food together.  Men and women, young and old, they chopped vegetables and called out to their neighbors.  Dave was struck by the joy in they had in making dinner, a task we often see as a chore.

The church was always intended to work together as a body, a community. So much is possible when we work together, but so often our instinct is not to get involved.  We worry that we’re not skilled enough.  We worry that we’ll get locked into a commitment.  I wondered if it’s simply a part of our North American thinking, but I read article recently that challenged that.

In his article “Stand By” Shaun Smith asks “What if I decide to make a difference and it doesn’t make any difference at all?”  I think this is the real reason that so often, we back away.  What if I make the effort and am rejected? What if I spend resources and nothing changes? The problem is, this question screams at us so loudly we miss the other question lingering in its shadow “what if I become familiar with doing nothing at all.”

The other day someone reminded me “Don’t say their no for them”.  It’s easy to think that someone will say no before I even ask and talk myself out of taking the risk.  But God may be at work in ways I don’t know about and my little question could be just the opening they are looking for.

Take a minute to read Shaun’s article, you won’t be disappointed.  Do you find it easy to reach out to others? Have you ever caught yourself saying someone’s “no” for them?

My life changed forever the day I heard these words, although it took a year and a half and many medical tests to receive a correct diagnosis. I will never forget the day I heard those words from my then 39 year old husband.His diagnosis is Psoriatic Arthritis.  It started with his knee, but took off in the rest of his system. The arthritis robbed his youth and stole so much from our family of five.  At age 40 he walked with a cane, had to nap every afternoon, and lived with constant pain.  He was no longer able to work, I had to go to work after being a stay-at-home mom for 16 years.  His limit for doing anything was about one hour, but many days even one hour was too much.  We limited his driving to emergency only times.  We moved closer to work and school, to decrease driving.   Not quite what we expected for a 40th birthday.

Although the arthritis has stolen much from our family, we also need to look at what we have gained.   I have experienced God in many new ways.  Old Testament “Manna” has a whole new meaning to me.  If you recall the Israelites in the Old Testament wandering in the wilderness, God provided Manna, bread from Heaven, literally it was food falling from the sky.  The thing is, God gave enough Manna for one day. He gave enough for today, not yesterday, not tomorrow, only today.  If they tried to save it, it rotted and got wormy.  Manna is full of nourishment and sustenance.

I have discovered God still gives Manna in our desert experiences. When I am wandering and lost in a wilderness I never expected to be in, I have found Manna.  Here is what it looks like: meals, a gift card, food for the freezer, encouraging words, praying friends, a timely email and so much more.  God has given enough for each day.  I can’t rely on it tomorrow for it was meant for today.  Each day is a journey of faith to see how God will meet my need today.  He chooses to use His people to care for each other, yet He is sovereign and orchestrated the timeline to meet my need today.

I have learned much about “one day at a time” living.  At first I thought living in today was a coping-in-crisis response.  I have since learned it is a faith response.  If I can take my eyes and mind off the future or the past, today is what I have.  Today I can love my family, today I can help a friend, today I focus on what is before me.  Today is God’s agenda and He will get me through whether if feels like a gift or a curse.    Today is where I make a difference by making the right choices.  Yesterday is memory, tomorrow is uncertain, today is here.

Matthew 6:34 “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”

Please respond and let me know about your desert experience, what have you learned, what does your “Manna” look like?

Recommended book:  The One Year Book of Hope

Powerlessness. Futility.

These are two words that devour my soul. What could I have done differently?  It makes me feel as though I am a bystander. I’m not in the moment, I’m watching someone else’s moment. I try to get involved, try to encourage the weak, try to make a difference. But moments still slip past, people still stumble and I feel like a bystander.

The call to be a difference-maker

A struggle I have with the concept of change stems from my early Christian experience.  One morning a well-meaning pastor preached “You could cure cancer, and it still wouldn’t be enough.” He was highlighting the difference that Jesus makes. Jesus turns me from darkness into light – a 180 degree turn in my final destiny. In one sense, I suppose that’s true. That’s a big difference.  But what about change now?

Where is the call to be a difference maker? Does making a difference in Haiti have an impact? Does engaging my neighbor, thanking my bus driver, owning up to the hurt I cause when I live selfishly make a difference? Jesus calls me, and us, to great things. In John 14:12, he says, “anyone who has faith in me will do what I have been doing. He will do even greater things than these.”

Does this mean that I am not living up to my Christian faith when I’m not healing people, saving people, and bringing people back from the dead? Is this a call to greater miracles, loftier aspirations, and more incredible physical healings? Is change just about trying to one-up Jesus?

Washing windows at a bus stop

At my public transit station, there is a man who cleans the windows every morning. People listen to their iPods, stare at the floor, and gather outside when the bus comes to take them away. No one is there to admire the view. Is this the kind of change I’m called to? I do the best I can in my sphere of influence, but in the end, it feels as though

I’m washing windows at a bus stop.

I sit and watch the window washer. While he washes windows, he talks to people – anyone – about everything. While people sit and wait and watch for their bus, here is this man who washes windows who talks to strangers. He reminds me of the whispering voice of God, calling me to change my world. I hear the whisper over the cheer of the bystander.

Greater things than these

There are times when I do get involved. It makes me uncomfortable, or it’s awkward, or it’s a disruption in my busy schedule. I think of all the things that could possibly go wrong. What if I helped that person holding four grocery bags and walking on an icy street? What if I donated a little more of time helping kids learn to read?

What if I decide to make a difference and it doesn’t make any difference at all?

The allure of the bystander is that it keeps me safe. I don’t risk anything, and I am rewarded for it. With my peace. With my dignity. With my selfishness.

And so today, I stand by the casket of the boy who laid down in front of a train. I talk to his brother and ask how he’s doing. I offer my condolences, my support, my house if he needs a place to sleep or vent or just heal. I am compelled by the whisper of God to make a difference.

Change. Impact.

These are two words that create life in me. And a call to greater things.

That was exactly what Netherlands speed skater Sven Kramer faced at the 2010 Winter Olympics. As Kramer skated in the 10,000m competition, his coach, Gerard Kemkers, mistakenly waved him toward the inside track instead of the outside track where the skater had been heading. The coach’s error led to Kramer being disqualified from the race, even though based on his time he placed first and would’ve won the gold medal.

People wondered whether Kramer would be able to forgive his coach. Kramer himself probably wondered if he would be able to forgive. And even if he could, would the rest of his country be able to forgive this public blunder of epic proportions? The chief sports editor for the Dutch newspaper The Telegraph commented that “This is a historic mistake. I think in Holland, over 50 years, we will still remember this mistake.” (Source: NPR)

We have all made mistakes in our own lives. While ours were not likely scrutinized by the world as Kemkers’ was, many of them seem just as meaningful to us, especially moral choices. From lapses in judgment to ignoring our own ethical standards in the misguided pursuit of some goal, the effects of a seemingly simple moral choice can end up haunting us for years.

The result is that many people are saddled with guilt. The proper way to deal with guilt is not denial; but how can we continue to have self-confidence in ourselves despite our mistakes and moral failures?

“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” 1 John 1:9

If you feel like you’ve really messed up, you may appreciate the apostle Peter’s situation. He claimed he would follow Jesus even to death, but eventually Peter abandoned Jesus when he denied him three times. If guilt is heavy on your heart today, read a short devotional about Peter and God’s forgiveness. The truth is that God forgave Peter, and entrusted him with great responsibility even after his very public failure.

If you have non-Christian friends who are struggling with guilt, you might want to point them to this article written for non-Christians which describes how Peter’s guilt and anxiety were assuaged.

Struggling with issues of guilt and anxiety, and need someone to talk with? Please contact us to talk today. You will be matched up (confidentially) with someone familiar with your struggles who will reply privately to you via email.

Do you have a bad habit?

Some bad habits include (but are not limited to) gossiping, smoking, overeating, drinking too much, overspending, and laziness. There’s plenty of other more subtle ones too, like grinding your teeth or being overly sarcastic. And if you’re a student, you may have a whole new set of bad habits to break, like skipping classes, not studying enough, or even cheating on assignments or tests.

Breaking out of these bad habits by our own power simply won’t work. God must be our source for every positive life change we hope to make. Since we follow a great and powerful God who desires to make us new, we shouldn’t lose hope in what He can do in us. Paul tells his readers in Rome near the end of his letter “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” (Romans 15:13)

It is in that mindset which I hope you will read “Making Room for the New“. It will encourage you to “be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.” (Ephesians 4:23-24)

If you have a bad habit you’ve tried to overcome but just can’t, maybe the encouragement of someone else could help you finally conquer it? Consider contacting an online mentor today who will walk beside you as you learn to trust in God to break your bad habits!

Upcoming online chats: Join us for daily online chats! One of our features will be “Resting and Trusting” on March 9 at 10:30 am EST. Please join us to discuss how to rest and trust!

God has plans for my destiny, plans to utilize me in ways I don’t expect.   Author Erwin McManus speaks about this in his book Soul Cravings, saying “ We are designed with a need to move forward.  Without it our lives become only shadows of what they could have been”  (see Erwin speak more about our longing for Destiny) Wallowing in these bad habits is not an option.  Moving past them and expecting to be used by God is.

Moving past the negative

God has equipped me to move ahead and to rid of the old.  In fact, He not only equipped me to do so, He expects me to.  When I start my day, I need to give myself entirely over to God.  Giving up the old makes room for the new. The scripture speaks to us plainly on this topic:

Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body so that you obey its evil desires.  Do not offer the parts of your body to sin, as instruments of wickedness, but rather offer yourselves to God, as those who have been brought from death to life; and offer the parts of your body to him as instruments of righteousness.  For sin shall not be your master, because you are not under law, but under grace.  (Romans 6:12-14, NIV)

We are not slaves to old negative habits.  We are able to create positive and  changes in our lives through the strength of the Lord helping us along our daily walk.

I believe that God gives us clear direction on this matter.  Through prayer and our willful actions we can go to Him to help us change our lives, to rid ourselves of the old and make way for the new.  That being said, I also believe that God gave us the intelligence to be able to constructively look at our habits and make changes in practical ways.

Feeling stuck

The realization that you are stuck in a negative pattern in an area of your life may not be an easy one.  You might not notice it on your own.   It may take a long time to accept it.  But when you do, there is a desire to right these wrongs.  We as humans all have a fundamental craving to be good people.  We want to make the effort to change the negative when we see it, to right the wrongs.

When I become aware that I have been acting in a poor manner and have fallen into bad habits I stop and take stock.  It is the most beneficial thing that you can do for yourself to move forward. There are some questions to ask so that you can assess where you are in the process:

• In what situations do you see yourself participating in the bad habit?
• Is it possibly a habitual thing you don’t think about or notice you are doing?
• Is it something that happens in social situations?
• Is it stress related?
• How often does it happen?
• Are there certain environmental factors that lead to it happening or trigger it?

Taking stock

Take some time to stop and reflect on when you most notice your negative habits appearing.  After every occurrence,  note what happened before you found yourself in that place.  What were you thinking and feeling before, during and especially after it happened?  Realizing and validating how you felt afterwards can be a great motivator.  Getting rid of the old habits will rest on being able to pin exactly what it is that brings about the negative actions time and time again.

Now you should be able to accurately note if there is a reason that you see yourself continually engaging in the behavior.  Is this a negative and harming personality trait?  Is there a positive feeing or thought associated with it somehow?  What function does this action really have? To deflect?  To make yourself feel confident and prevent unease in a hard or stressful situation?

Why you do what you do

Once you have come to realize exactly what the old habit is, and WHY you continue to do it, you can focus on bringing personal relief to the situation.  Do you need to work on self-confidence, being in groups, stress, handling criticism?  Do you lack guidance, are you struggling with your relationship with God?  There are many reasons that you may have begun to slip into this negative behavior.  I know that almost every time I have caught myself engaging in a negative behavior pattern, it has been a symptom of a far greater problem.  The diagnosis has been different for me nearly every time.  But the desire to face the problems head on and move past it has been a constant.

Refusing to be held in a pattern

After you have acknowledged the reasons and feeling behind the behavior, you need to move onto the next step.  Changing the habit.  What are alternative and healthier reactions that you can pursue the next time you feel yourself slipping? How can you change your ways of thinking and viewing the subject that will allow you to prosper instead on fall into a negative pattern?  Try to think of positive and healthy ways

When you notice yourself slipping into the old ways, simply stop.  Take a breather.  Count in your head, take a deep breath and reassess the situation.  Why are you reacting like this? What exactly is it that you are feeling that is propelling you into this action?  What are some ways that you can level out again and bring this negative old behavior into the new, positive pattern?

Do a 180.  I would again suggest that after, you even write down what initially triggered you, and how you began to react.  Assessment of these moments will help you to avoid them in the future, and to start of reacting in a positive manner.   The scriptures speak to this.  “And have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator” (Colossians 3:10 NIV)

Moving forward

Now you are moving in the right direction…forward.  Keep the momentum going.  Be patient with yourself, and set up a system to address when you are slipping behind.  Have a point person.  Having someone that you feel comfortable discussing these situations with will soon show to be greatly beneficial.

I am by no means saying that will be an easy thing to open up to someone, but it helps to be accountable to another person and have them be accountable to you.  As brothers and sister in Christ, we are not only accountable to the Lord — “So then each of us shall give account of himself to God.” (Romans 14:12) — but to one another as well. “Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted. Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” (Galatians 6:1-2).

On an simpler level, it is healthy and good for humans to share our thoughts and emotions, feelings and struggles with another who is not there to judge, but to offer understanding and support.  Just remember that if they do call you out on something, that they are doing it with good intentions, and that you have asked them to do that.

Patience is a virtue

Be patient.  Nothing is fixed in mere moments.  Be prepared to commit as much time and effort as necessary to make yourself healthy mentally and emotionally.  Getting rid of the old to allow room for the new in your life is not going to be an easy process.  You WILL slip into your old behaviors from time to time.  What does matter though, is the realization that you are doing this.  Once you are aware, fixing and aligning yourself in positive behavioral patterns will become easier and more successful as time goes on.

In the end, remember to talk to God about your troubles.  Be in conversation with Him.  Ask, and listen for your response.  Sharing with Him and trusting, being in His word and opening yourself up to learning will be the greatest thing you can do to help yourself serve Him.

Do you want to talk to someone about making changes in your life? Do you have questions about how to change your ways to God’s? Email us and you’ll be matched with mentors who are trained volunteers with real life experience who can answer questions, point you to other resources, or just listen.

“By this gospel you are saved, if you hold firmly to the word I preached to you. Otherwise, you have believed in vain.”

Bill Bright had a passion to reach the world with the Gospel. In 1951 at the University of California, Los Angeles, Bill and Vonette Bright founded Campus Crusade for Christ. (Power to Change Ministries is the Canadian division of Campus Crusade for Christ International.) Although the Brights started out with little more than a vision of reaching college students with the Gospel, they trusted in God to provide, and their ministry quickly began to grow. As God blessed it and others saw the same vision and were called into service, the ministry began to thrive. In less than 10 years Campus Crusade was active on 40 US campuses and also in three other countries.

Today, Campus Crusade for Christ International (CCCI) employs over 27,000 missionaries all over the world, most of whom are entirely supported by partnerships with others.  Although Dr Bright went to be with the Lord in 2003, he lived to see his vision fulfilled. CCCI continues to make a positive contribution as the largest evangelical organization in the world.

Dr Bright was a prolific writer, and many of his writings have been put online for the edification of believers everywhere. Not just concerned with “getting saved,” Bright also wanted people to live fully formed spiritual lives as Christians.

If you are a Christian, you will benefit from his writing. One of the most popular series is the ten “Transferable Concepts,” otherwise known as “Lessons for New Christians“. These are life lessons, which are short interactive studies. When you complete one, you will receive a personalized reply via email from a mentor. The first in the series is “How to Be Sure You are a Christian“. If you have been a Christian for a long time, you might want to consider starting with “How You Can Walk in the Spirit.” Try one today!

Lent is the period of the year leading up to Easter, starting on Ash Wednesday and concluding on Palm Sunday (the Sunday before Easter). Usual Lent activities include fasting (sometimes from a particular food or type of food, like meat or sweets) and an increased focus on prayer. (If you would like help praying or would like someone to keep you accountable to pray during Lent, contact us to be matched with a mentor!)

This year I took a bit of a different approach to Lent: I gave up playing video games. To some that may sound frivolous, but this gives me an extra half an hour to an hour per day that I can spend reading my Bible and other books, as well as being in prayer. If you’re looking for some different ways you can spend Lent this year, check out our article Reclaim Lent: Find Some Breathing Room!

Are you participating in Lent this year, either by giving something up or in some other way? Let us know how in the comments!

As we headed outside for some fresh air after the “Golden Goal” a man saw my Canada jersey and said, “I guess Mr. Crosby made your day. Maybe your year!” The euphoria was amazing and the patriotism was over the top. People talking to me on the street, cars honking and waving, flags proudly displayed! I loved it!

But was it the greatest goal? Paul Henderson’s winning goal in the 1972 Summit Series between Canada and the Soviet Union may still be the best. That whole series was “us” vs “them”, capitalism vs communism. It was the first real challenge to the supremacy of Canadian hockey players. Back in ’72 we were in the cold war. It was a cultural battle that many believed was between the right and wrong way to govern. We were free, the USSR was behind the Iron Curtain. For many people, there was a lot more than hockey being contested on that ice.

Ironically, Paul Henderson didn’t get to see part of this Sunday’s game between Canada and the USA. You might think the hockey legend would be glued to the screen, or possibly catching the game from the good seats at Canada Hockey Place. But he wasn’t. Henderson missed part of the game because he was speaking at a Weekend to Remember marriage conference for FamilyLife. On all day when every Canadian was a hockey fan, why would he of all people miss part of the game to teach about marriage?

To Paul, the greater goal, is a healthy marriage. At the conference he clearly articulated that at the centre of a healthy marriage is a relationship with Jesus Christ. On a Sunday when many debated which was the greatest goal Paul made a clear statement. Marriage with God at he centre is really the “Golden Goal.”

For some of us, a single moment will set the course of our lives. For Henderson and Crosby, it was a moment of greatness, for others it is a moment of tragedy. Are people like Henderson and Crosby destined for greatness? Or are they simply in the right place at the right time? You can explore the concept with Erwin McManus in his videos on craving destiny, and maybe even share them with a friend.

“As the Scripture says, “Anyone who trusts in him will never be put to shame.”" Romans 10:11

Has there been a single, defining moment in your life? Tell us about it in the comments.

Vision and discipline

There are at least four attributes that are needed in order to compete well: vision, discipline, adaptability and personal satisfaction. Vision can be defined as “a mental picture of the desired future”. The more specific the vision is, the greater the potential benefit of that vision toward success.

I had the desire to run a marathon. It was a great vision, but not really helpful in terms accomplishing my desire. It wasn’t until I set a date, picked a race, and set a time goal for pacing myself that the vision became a useful tool. Only then did my vision begin to become a reality.

Once my vision was more defined, it moved me to action. I began to train in a focused way. I talked about what I was going to do, which provided a sense of accountability to follow through on my vision. The discipline that I imposed on myself in training for a marathon also began to impact other areas of my life. It caused me to be more focused in setting goals and implementing them. I’m convinced that a true vision will result in focused goals and self discipline needed to move towards those goals.

Adaptability and satisfaction

Adaptability and personal satisfaction come as by-products of the vision and its implementation. It’s surprising how the will to accomplish something causes us to adapt accordingly. The ultimate satisfaction of seeing the vision “in process” and becoming a reality can help with the challenging moments along the way.

Sometimes people become overwhelmed with the task of creating and implementing a vision because they feel the need to have an ultimate vision for their life. It’s actually easier to start with baby steps. Pick an area of life and get a mental picture of a desired future in that area. This could be in the physical, intellectual, financial, professional, spiritual or relational sphere. Just choose a specific place to start.

Vision is created twice. First, the mental picture is created. This shaping of the vision is like the general form of clay in a potter’s hand. Second, the vision is created by defining it so that it can be lived out in a physical reality, taking specific, small steps toward the vision becoming reality. Both steps are important.

In his book, Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen Covey calls this “Beginning with the End in Mind.” What is your desired future? Take the time to think and dream before rushing headlong into goal setting and implementation. King Solomon said, “Without a vision, the people perish.” (Proverbs 29:18, KJV) He must have understood some very fundamental about the human spirit. Each of us longs to for change and a better future. Solomon, a rich and powerful king during biblical times, realized that the future was realized beyond the physical. What is your vision for 2010? Does that desire go beyond the physical?

Share your vision for 2010 with us in the comments! If you’d like to talk to a mentor privately about your vision and have them walk alongside you to help it become a reality, contact an online mentor privately via email! Let us know if you have prayer requests too!