Pour a mug of hot chocolate and settle in with a Christmas life lesson. 

The Carols of Christmas

Carols are one of the surest signs of Christmas.  When you hear them in the mall or start to sing them on Sunday morning you know that Christmas is well and truly here.  This delightful series of seven lessons digs deeper into the stories behind such beloved carols as “O Holy Night”, “Angels We Have Heard on High”, “We Three Kings” and more. Take the Carols of Christmas lesson

The Gifts of Christmas

At this time of year, malls are full of people who think they understand what Christmas is all about. On the very first Christmas in the land of Israel, there were very different levels of understanding about what was actually happening. What is your understanding of Christmas? Come with us on a journey today as we explore what Christmas can mean to us. Take the Gifts of Christmas lesson

Advent Journeys

Mary and Joseph, the wise men, the coming Messiah – it seems like everyone was going somewhere that first Christmas. In a season when so many of us have somewhere we need to get to there’s much we can learn from these ancient travelers.  As we near the Christmas season this year, join us in a fresh look at this familiar story of Joseph, Mary and a journey to Bethlehem. Take the Advent Journeys lesson

“I knew I had to do something to get my son up off the streets.” Karen came to this decision after she spent years working the streets. She had turned to prostitution and drugs after growing up without the love of her parents. Until she accepted Christ and took steps to change her life. How will you move toward a positive direction in your life?

Take the next step:

Are you feeling unloved? Talk to a mentor today.
How can God help you through heartbreaking moments from your past?
Have you experienced the pain of rejection in your life?

One of the most frequent internet searches is people who want help with relationships.

These guidelines don’t tell you to put yourself in harms way, nor to be a “door mat” or not to have any boundaries with those who are manipulative or mean spirited. No – these guidelines give you an attitude of the heart and a way to see yourself as you respond to others in your life.  There are just over 50 of them. Some are repeated, often with a little different direction given as to how to carry it out.

It’s like changing the glasses you are looking through. Often we choose to focus on seeing faults and finding complaints and irritations in another, especially when our hearts have been bruised. These guidelines give you opportunity and insight to change your glasses and see your own heart first as you respond to other person through the lens of compassion and care.

After all, it’s our own hearts that lead us in relationships and it’s our own attitudes that help make the daily rubbing of shoulders pleasant or irritating.

You can never do anything about another person’s responses or attitudes. You do not have the authority to change their glasses no matter how much you try. You can only change yours. Yet in changing the glasses you wear and choosing your outlook and your response, you will find yourself changing and those around you will respond differently as well.

It may be some of the very basic things in these guidelines that you need to begin doing. Waiting for one another before you eat. Being kind. Being tender hearted.

It may be more challenging to forgive another, to not build up complaints in your heart and mind toward another or to encourage and serve another.

These guidelines are all you will ever really need in your home and outside of your home as you navigate the relationships you hold dear. They come from the timeless truth of the Bible, God’s word to us. The best part is that God is the one who can restore kindness and gentleness within our hearts even when we don’t feel like it and can’t muster it ourselves. He is the one who can change our hearts and our minds and pour His love into us so that it can spill out around us.

May I challenge you to take the next 30 days and work through this list one at a time?  Ask God daily to help you specifically change your heart toward the one you find yourself in a challenging relationship with.

You will be amazed at the wisdom and insight you will receive as God’s peace begins to flow in your heart and in your relationship.

THE “ONE ANOTHER”s OF THE BIBLE

Mark 9:50 – “Salt is good; but if the salt becomes un-salty, with what will you make it salty again? Have salt in yourselves, and be at peace with one another.”

John 13:14 – “If I then, the Lord and the Teacher, washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet.

John 13:34 – “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love one another.

John 13:35 – “By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.”

John 15:12 – “This is My commandment, that you love one another, just as I have loved you.

John 15:17 – “This I command you, that you love one another.

Romans 12:10 – Be devoted to one another in brotherly love; give preference to one another in honor;

Romans 12:16 – Be of the same mind toward one another; do not be haughty in mind, but associate with the lowly. Do not be wise in your own estimation.

Romans 13:8 – Owe nothing to anyone except to love one another; for he who loves his neighbor has fulfilled the law.

Romans 14:13 – Therefore let us not judge one another anymore, but rather determine this–not to put an obstacle or a stumbling block in a brother’s way.

Romans 14:19 – So then we pursue the things which make for peace and the building up of one another.

Romans 15:5 – Now may the God who gives perseverance and encouragement grant you to be of the same mind with one another according to Christ Jesus,

Romans 15:7 – Therefore, accept one another, just as Christ also accepted us to the glory of God.

Romans 15:14 – And concerning you, my brethren, I myself also am convinced that you yourselves are full of goodness, filled with all knowledge and able also to admonish one another.

Romans 16:16 – Greet one another with a holy kiss. All the churches of Christ greet you.

1 Corinthians 11:33 – So then, my brethren, when you come together to eat, wait for one another.

1 Corinthians 16:20 – All the brethren greet you. Greet one another with a holy kiss.

2 Corinthians 13:12 – Greet one another with a holy kiss.

Galatians 5:13 – For you were called to freedom, brethren; only do not turn your freedom into an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another.

Galatians 5:26 – Let us not become boastful, challenging one another, envying one another.

Galatians 6:2 – Bear one another’s burdens, and thereby fulfill the law of Christ.

Ephesians 4:2 – with all humility and gentleness, with patience, showing tolerance for one another in love,

Ephesians 4:25 – Therefore, laying aside falsehood, speak truth each one of  you with his neighbor, for we are members of one another.

Ephesians 4:32 – Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.

Ephesians 5:19 – speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody with your heart to the Lord;

Ephesians 5:21 – and be subject to one another in the fear of Christ.

Philippians 2:3 – Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves;

Colossians 3:9 – Do not lie to one another, since you laid aside the old self with its evil practices,

Colossians 3:13 – bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you.

Colossians 3:16 – Let the word of Christ richly dwell within you, with all wisdom teaching and admonishing one another with psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with thankfulness in your hearts to God.

1 Thessalonians 3:12 – and may the Lord cause you to increase and abound in love for one another, and for all people, just as we also do for you;

1 Thessalonians 4:9 – Now as to the love of the brethren, you have no need for anyone to write to you, for you yourselves are taught by God to love one another;

1 Thessalonians 5:11 – Therefore encourage one another and build up one another, just as you also are doing.

1 Thessalonians 5:13b – Live in peace with one another.

1 Thessalonians 5:15 – See that no one repays another with evil for evil, but always seek after that which is good for one another and for all people.

2 Thessalonians 1:3 – We ought always to give thanks to God for you, brethren, as is only fitting, because your faith is greatly enlarged, and the love of each one of you toward one another grows ever greater;

Hebrews 3:13 – But encourage one another day after day, as long as it is still called “Today,” so that none of you will be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin.

Hebrews 10:24 – and let us consider how to stimulate one another to love and good deeds,

Hebrews 10:25 – not forsaking our own assembling together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another; and all the more as you see the day drawing near.

James 4:11 – Do not speak against one another, brethren. He who speaks against a brother or judges his brother, speaks against the law and judges the law; but if you judge the law, you are not a doer of the law but a judge of it.

James 5:9 – Do not complain, brethren, against one another, so that you yourselves may not be judged; behold, the Judge is standing right at the door.

James 5:16 – Therefore, confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another so that you may be healed. The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much.

1 Peter 1:22 – Since you have in obedience to the truth purified your souls for a sincere love of the brethren, fervently love one another from the heart,

1 Peter 4:8 – Above all, keep fervent in your love for one another, because love covers a multitude of sins.

1 Peter 4:9 – Be hospitable to one another without complaint.

1 Peter 4:10 – As each one has received a special gift, employ it in serving one another as good stewards of the manifold grace of God.

1 Peter 5:5 – You younger men, likewise, be subject to your elders; and all of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, for God is opposed to the proud, but gives grace to the humble.

1 Peter 5:14 – Greet one another with a kiss of love. Peace be to you all who are in Christ.

1 John 1:7 – but if we walk in the Light as He Himself is in the Light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus His Son cleanses us from all sin.

1 John 3:11 – For this is the message which you have heard from the beginning, that we should love one another;

1 John 3:23 – This is His commandment, that we believe in the name of His Son Jesus Christ, and love one another, just as He commanded us.

1 John 4:7 – Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God.

1 John 4:11 – Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.

1 John 4:12 – No one has seen God at any time; if we love one another, God abides in us, and His love is perfected in us.

2 John 1:5 – Now I ask you, dear lady, not as though I were writing to you a new commandment, but the one which we have had from the beginning, that we love one another.

Take the next step:

Improve your communication with your spouse
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What if you could be part of a growing ministry that helped thousands of people in the last year? The Mentor Center creates a safe environment where people with questions are matched with Christians who can answer them with the hope of Christ. Do you have half an hour a week to share Christ in an online setting while helping others? Consider becoming a mentor.

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“God what are you doing?” I wondered.  The house had seemed like such a miracle, and now we were so disappointed.  We said yes to the second house, but were still in grief over the first one.  During that time the movie preview was postponed to 1:30.  At 1:20 my daughter said to me, “Mom lets go to a movie.” I suddenly remembered Courageous and we ran out the door.

I was not expecting the range of emotions that Courageous took me on.  I laughed, (really laughed) I cried (get-out-the-tissues-and-pass-them-down-the-row cried). I enjoyed it and the values resonated deep in my spirit.  Values are very important to me and it was great to see a movie with such a strong message about priorities.

It brought me to tears

At one point during the film my eleven year old asked why I was crying.  (Any parent will understand why I was crying, but it was lost on her.)  I was crying because I love my kids SO much, and because we are SO rich because we have them.  I cried because I miss my son and daughter who live in heaven.  I cried for the reminder to appreciate my family and take seriously my responsibility and to laugh and dance and spend time with them. I cried because no matter where we live we are together and we have each other and THAT is what matters MOST.

I walked out of the theatre with a new perspective.  We already have the thing that is the most important. I was still disappointed to lose the house, but chose to focus with gratitude on the great things about our new home instead.  Perspective can make all the difference.  I have recently learned that if we want to control our emotions we need to control our thoughts.  It sounds simple but is hard to practice.

Courageous reminds us to focus on what is truly important: family, values, integrity.  These are the things that last beyond the moment.  I love my family and if we live in a shack and are safe and healthy, we still have much to be thankful for!

It takes courage to face both the daily things and the BIG things that life throws at us.  This movie features several men who face both the big and small decisions with priorities based on family values.  I was truly moved.

As a Christian who fully embraces the values of the film, I would love to see you all go opening weekend so that we can make a statement that good movies are wanted in our culture.  This movie’s message is SO important for our culture.  The next generation needs parents focused on character, love, integrity, involvement, and time spent together.

Get more tips on how you can be a better father:
Creative Parenting
When Parents Break Your Heart
Could you forgive your daughter?
Courageous: Helping Dads Excel

Courageous is a movie about five police men living with exciting careers and challenges at home.  One of them is moved to improve as a father.  His co-workers are inspired to do the same, and they resolve to be better dads.  But it doesn’t end there.  Life happens, and they have to make decisions – will they be the men of integrity as they promised when it’s hard, really hard?

This movie is exciting, funny, and action filled.  The police scenes will leave you at the edge of your seat.  You’ll roar with laughter and be moved to tears.  The movie portrays all sorts of fathers – fathers who favor one child over another, fathers of teenage daughters with boyfriends, divorced fathers and fathers who want to be better.

The press release for Courageous describes why a movie like this is so important:

Today, fatherlessness in Canada is widespread and its effects are far reaching. Studies show that fatherless children are at a dramatically greater risk of drug and alcohol abuse, mental illness, suicide, poor educational performance, teen pregnancy and criminality. Even in homes where the father is present, he may be struggling with career, life’s purpose or marital issues. Dads are often busy and disconnected. The movie Courageous invites men to make a profound change for the sake of their families, collectively altering the future of our nation as men put into practice what fatherhood should be.

This movie is a must-see for families. In a culture that is becoming more and more desensitized to violence, Courageous adds some sensitivity back.  Take your spouse, buddy, co-worker, brother-in-law, and vow to make a difference in the lives of children around you.  Dare to be courageous – it’s not too late.

Courageous opens in select theatres September 30^th.

Resources available

Resources have been created for small group studies and individual resolutions for men as well as women.  Churches are encouraged to hold small groups and continue the process of fathers building stronger families.  You can find these resources and more at http://courageouscanada.ca/resources

Are you a Dad wanting to make a difference in your child’s life? Get more tips:

Creative Parenting
When Parents Break Your Heart
Could you forgive your daughter?
Courageous

Are you one of the 7 million? I was.

As families break up, teens suffer rejection and loneliness. Rejection causes us to replay negative experiences in our minds. Each time we hit rewind and replay the situation our depression deepens. It’s a vicious cycle and a spiritual battle. You and I need God to break any mindset that keeps us trapped in a negative place. But how?

During the time when I was healing from my parents divorce, a minister came up to me and said, “God tells me you are replaying the pain. Stop rehearsing it. Instead fill your heart and mind with what God’s Word says about you.” I knew he was right, so I did as he said. And that was the beginning of a greater liberty in my life. From that day forward, I made a conscious effort to let go of my bitterness.

Finding your place

There is a place of belonging for you beginning today and that place is close to the heart of God. You can experience healing. You can leave the pain of your past behind. You can move into the future, whole and complete in Christ. God did it for me, and He will do it for you.

Maybe your parents divorced, your dad or mom left, one of your parents passed away, or a brother or sister betrayed you. Maybe you have a parent who is serving in the military and you miss them. Perhaps your family is struggling with unemployment; your parent is laid off and out of work. Your parents’ home may have been foreclosed and you wonder when the fighting over money will end. Whatever the root of your rejection has been, you must hold onto hope. You can throw off bitterness and experience healing in your soul.

Habakkuk 3:16-19 shows us that God works in the bad times in our lives. The hard experiences we endure really do make us stronger. Romans 8:28 goes on to say that “in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” (NIV)

Restoration is a process. Psalm 30:5 declares, “Weeping may stay for the night, but rejoicing comes in the morning.” No matter how cutting the pain of darkness is, the light of day always breaks through it.

God goes before you and He is greater than your circumstances. He sees your past, present, and future. He gets you. He stands with arms open. His love can heal your deepest sorrow. He can lift the bitterness you feel and bring liberty that will cause your heart to sing again.

I understand people you love have hurt you. Just remember, you are not rejected and you are not alone. You have a place of shelter, a Heavenly Father, a Christian family, and an eternal home.

Six Rejection Breaking Keys that Show How You B-E-L-O-N-G

B – Begin Starting anything new can be hard. In fact, there’s not much good we can do in our own ability without the Lord. That’s why God wants to be your strength as you begin embracing Him (Psalm 46:1 and II Corinthians 12:9-10).

E – Embracing Here’s where you act upon your faith. To embrace is to accept and welcome God in your life (Acts 16:31 and Romans 5:1). You might ask, “But, how do I embrace God?” Well, you talk to Him just like you talk to your best friend. (At the end of this post, there’s an opportunity for you to experience God’s love through the power of prayer.)

L – Love’s I John 4:16 tells us that “God is love”. Is it possible for people like you and me to know Love’s open arms? You bet it is. Never forget, you are God’s favorite one.

O – Open arms Jesus died on the cross, but He also rose from the grave. We aren’t embracing a dead or made-up deity. Our God is alive. The Holy Spirit enables us to feel His presence and sense His open arms. When we call on the Lord Jesus, He hears us every time (Isaiah 58:9).

N – Never-ending

Isaiah 9:6-7 reassures us that God is forever. He isn’t going to walk out on us. Isaiah says, “For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, and Prince of Peace. Of the greatness of his government and peace there will be no end” (NIV, emphasis added). Did you get that last part? The kingdom of God is never-ending (Psalm 16:8).

G – Grace Favor surrounds you when the God of love is with you. John 1:17 reminds us, “the law was given through Moses; grace and truth came through Jesus Christ” (NIV). God will transform your life with His grace. He is the lifter of your head. No more rejection, only acceptance in Him.

A Prayer

God can heal your broken heart. Are you ready to pray?

Lord, who is more powerful than you? Who is more able to restore than you? Not anyone! I empty my heart of the rejection I have experienced and I ask you for peace. Will you revive me again? Will you take away the pain?

I believe you will! I will not hang my head low in defeat; I choose in this holy moment to hold onto hope. I lift my head high, knowing that you have created me to be an individual, as unique as the snowflakes outside. Help me to forgive my family. I release my resentment. Bring purity to my life, restore the trust. Heal the brokenness and cause my heart to sing with new joy! Thank you for being my Heavenly Father and for welcoming me into your family and home. I am neither rejected, nor alone because I BELONG to you. I ask all these things in Jesus’ name. Amen.

God hears and answers, so expect His breakthrough in your life. Jeremiah 29:11 says, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future” (NIV). God is going to do something mighty for you.

Has divorce touched your family? Read our resources to find hope:

Helping children cope with separation and divorce
Entering marriage as a child of divorce
Stopping the cycle of divorce

April 12th, 2009 forced a change in my life.

Change comes suddenly and without warning, often in ways we are not prepared for. A loss of a relationship, job loss, bad news, unwanted circumstances are all outside of our control. The change forces new challenges and opportunities to navigate the road ahead and forge on to allow God to lead us to new destinations.

If you are facing change in your life there are a few keys in making change your friend rather than foe:

1. Allow yourself time to heal emotionally, physically and spiritually from the shock of the unexpected. Making decisions to soon or for the wrong reasons can complicate your situation. The Holy Spirit can heal the brokenness and emptiness and bring wisdom in making decisions about your future.
2. Surround yourself with wise friends who will guide you and provide Godly wisdom. Be open and honest even transparent in the feelings you are experiencing.
3. Accept the fact change is a part of life and understand your setbacks can be followed by comebacks.
4. Know your steps are ordered by God and He has a plan and purpose for your future.
5. Understand that disappointments have meaning. If you separate the word dis from appointment it means cut off or separated from your appointment. Stalling in the land of disappointment will keep you from reaching the great and exciting destination God still has for your life.
6. Postpone major decisions but when you are ready aggressively take action to move ahead. Don’t allow  doubt or fear  to camp in your thinking.
7. Believe that nothing happens that God is not fully aware of and has provision to bring you into a new level of faith and wisdom.

Got change? Whatever change you are facing today God is still in control. The clouds will roll back and the sun will shine again. Change when accepted constructively will become deposits and investments that will become more valuable over time.

Take the Next Step
Coping with Change
Finding Peace in Troubled Times

Take the Next Step

Effectively Sharing the Gospel
Conversations that Count

This fall my 18 year-old son, my first-born, my newly minted young adult, will be leaving home to start university.

After that there were vacations with his best friend’s family, 2-week ski trips with his French elementary school, excursions to Quebec with his French class, and to Mexico on mission trips, all without me along.  I always knew that my role was to “let go” and encourage him to try his wings so that when the day came for him to become independent, he would be ready.  For years I have been progressively working myself out of a job, or at least gradually changing my job description.

The universal questions

But am I ready?  The distant deadline somehow always approaches far too rapidly. All parents experience this, but does that make it any easier?  Joel Achenbach, in his touching blog post, Last-minute bonding to make up for lost time wrote, “It’s not true that kids grow up fast. What is true is that it seems fast if you’re paying too much attention to other stuff.”  After all the years of reminding our much younger daughter that we had years together ahead of us before Josh left for college, we now find ourselves hurtling toward the day.

I talk to other moms a little ahead of me on this journey, and I realize that I am the Universal Mother asking the Universal Questions.  Will he wake up in the morning and get to class?  Will he eat properly?  Will he so enjoy the taste of freedom that he will forget why he has gone to college?  Will he wash his sheets?  Will he think to call me occasionally, or will I be reduced to reading his Facebook posts to learn that he is off rock climbing?

Then there are the Important Questions.  Will he be safe, going from a small town where we don’t always lock the front door, to living in a big city?  Will he make wise choices about priorities, money, and friends? Will we still enjoy the complicity that now exists between us?   Will he continue to walk with God? Will the new ideas he will be exposed to shake his faith or help him to go deeper still?

I think back to my own departure at 18. Was my mom sad or worried? Probably, but I don’t remember. I was too excited about starting college, growing up, and the anticipation of new friends and new adventures to pay much attention.  And while Josh admitted recently that his excitement is also tinged with a little anxiety, I’m betting that it won’t be long before he is immersed in this new world.

I will miss him terribly, but would I really prefer that he only aspire to stay here, in the safety and security of our home?  The idea behind the movie Failure to Launch is comical, but not so entertaining for real-life parents whose adult son is still living in the basement playing video games. I don’t want him to be too fearful to step out by faith, on his own.  This is exactly the goal I had in mind as I raised him.  I say to myself, often, “This is good and right. This is how it should be.”  I can’t stop him from growing up, and I shouldn’t try either.  But I can prepare him for the day that we say good-bye.  This is ultimately not about me.  It is about him, his future, and his life. I need to let him live it.

Take the next step

Is your family changing?
Are you ready to let go?

Check out the book that Carol featured: Last-minute bonding to make up for lost time by Joel Achenbach