Chicken… The Wanna-be Meat
Sometimes I feel like being controversial. Then other times I feel like stating the obvious. In this article, I am going to state the obvious which in turn will create controversy.
Chicken is not meat.
There you have it. It seems like a simple statement but from informal polling done over the last year, it seems that other than men, many don’t realize this. Therefore, I have decided to state clear and decisively, why chicken only wishes it was meat.
1. One of these things is not like the other one.
Cow, Buffalo, Deer, Moose, Chicken. It is clear from this exhaustive list that chickens are different from meat producing animals. Feel free to add other meat animals to the list. Pig, horse (popular meat where Cows are God and in fast food restaurants in Russia), and the cutest meat source, rabbit.
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2. Meat isn’t hatched.
What came first the chicken or the egg? It is very clear from the creation of the world that chickens and other birds were different than other creatures. It is obvious that meat is creating during the time spent in the mother’s womb and that an egg is meant to be eaten as a side dish to bacon. This is also the reason reptiles are considered a wanna-be meat.
3. Meat has 4 Legs.
When it comes right down to it, the number of legs the species normally has is a major reason why chicken’s aren’t meat. Cows, pigs, buffalos and rabbits all have four legs. Chicken’s have two. Why does this make a difference? Simple, more meat.
4. No feathers and you can hang the head on a wall.
It is better to skin a deer than pluck a chicken, plus you can take the head to the nearest taxi guy and get him to stuff it and hang it on a wall. Ever seen a chicken head hanging on a trophy wall?
5. All you can eat ribs.
Have you ever seen restaurants with all you can eat ribs that give you chicken? No? The reason is that All you can eat places know that meat and chicken are not the same.
6. Buffalo Wings.
Even chicken wings need to be given a name like buffalo to make them worth eating.
7. Diseases.
E.Coli. A disease one gets from eating under-cooked meat. Ever heard of someone getting E.Coli from chicken? No, you get Salmonella from chicken which is named after a fish… another non-meat source.
8. Mad Cow.
Ever heard of a mad chicken? Of course not! This is due to them not being meat.
9. Hamburger vs Chicken Burger.
When one orders a hamburger, they get cow, not pig. That is due to meat sources being interchangeable. However, you have to specifically order a “Chicken” burger.
10. You need to leave the skin on for taste.
This is one of the classic examples of why chicken is not meat.
11. Chickens walk funny.
Birds in general are dumb and walk like they just got kicked in the rear end.
NOTE: I am not biased against chickens in general. Whenever I eat at Wendy’s I order the Spicy Chicken Combo and another side of 6 chicken nuggets. After all, Wendy’s has the best salads.
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The oxford english dictionary (the definitive source for interpretation of the english language) defines meat as: “the flesh of an animal (esp. a mammal) as food”
Therefore chicken meat qualifies as meat. At least in English
Obviously some bribes took place.
Chicken is not meat. They come from little things in the factory called chicken and they just end up in packaging. These things in the factory are not alive or feel pain and they actually enjoy getting their throats slit and immediately put in boiling water for a nice steam bath. Actually they also like living in over crouded cages and having orgies in their owon poop. All this because thy lile to feed us. That is thier life long ambition. They also sign up for the fattest competition where they take anibiotic shots to become the fattest chicken. Also they sigh up for beeding programs o that they can produce more and more chicken. So Chicken is not meat. Who said they are meet. Yes and god created this chicken for us to eat. God thought that it was fun to make chicken scream, struggle to get away when being killed for our ammusement.
So Nishan, I’m sensing some sarcasm in what you say, which I hope you were able to see in the article above.
Would you say that all living creatures and organisms are the same and lettuce is also crying when cut from the ground?
if in fact the person who wrote this is trying to be serious… it is the most retarded idea i’ve ever heard. if it was meant as a joke… ooops. carrry on.