Think Before You Buy

Written by Laurie Wang

The Top 10 Gifts You Shouldn’t Buy Your Wife This Christmas

OK, let’s be honest. Sometimes men are bad at choosing gifts. Your intentions are good, but pick the wrong gift and you send the wrong message. So before you go out and buy a present for your wife, girlfriend or whoever that lovely lady is in your life, be sure to read these gift no-no’s first.

10. Tools. Unless she’s a handywoman or she’s told you her great desire to take out the bathtub and build a new one, I’d save the wrenches for someone else—maybe yourself.

9. A vacuum. Any cleaning or kitchen appliance says, “Honey, clean the house for me.” Your wife or girlfriend wants to be more than the housekeeper in your life.

8. A cookbook. “She has to cook all the time,” the rationale may go, “I’ll get her a cookbook!” But see the rationale for #9: She wants to be reminded how she is special and appreciated at Christmas time, not given more work to do!

The Greatest Gift
Sometimes the greatest gift, the greatest “thing” a person can receive, is not a “thing” at all. In this short video, a small boy learns that lesson from an unexpected visitor.

7. Clothes. Now, some men are very good at buying clothes and they know the exact size of their woman. However, you must keep in mind that women are shaped very differently and sizes can vary depending on the store. For example, I am a size 2 at one store and a size 4 at another, and I have shirts that are size small or large. To avoid complications, I suggest buying a gift certificate at your wife or girlfriend’s favorite mall, or bring her sister or best friend to pick out the clothing with you!

6. Tickets to the monster truck rally. I have a feeling that I’m in the minority when it comes to women who might enjoy a monster truck rally, so if I were you, I wouldn’t even bother lining up for tickets. And yes, this includes the car show, the motorcycle show, the boat show, NASCAR races…OK, you get my point.

5. Tires. Continuing the car theme, while your wife might need new tires for her car, she doesn’t necessarily want them as a Christmas gift. In fact, unless she’s a real greasemonkey or you’re buying her a completely new car, it’d be best to avoid car-related gifts entirely.

4. Computer equipment. There is a short list of tech gadgets, like an iPad, that are a good gift. But whether it’s a new printer or a copy of Microsoft Office or QuickTax, Christmas just isn’t the time to buy hardware or software for your wife or girlfriend. Wait until you’re both doing your taxes.

3. Socks. Yes, socks are useful, but they’re just not the type of Christmas gift a woman is thrilled about. I don’t feel a need to explain further.

2. Fruitcake. Yes, Christmas fruitcakes last about 12 years, but that’s because nobody eats them. And neither will your wife.

1. Membership to a diet program. Maybe she’s told you that she’s always wanted to join one. Maybe she’s told you that she thinks she’s fat. Does that mean you think she’s not beautiful and won’t be until she loses weight? I sure hope not. But that’s exactly what a membership to a diet program says. Exercise videos have the same effect. Men, flee from the infomercials that convince you otherwise! I suggest giving her something that makes her feel special and loved. Be thoughtful about it, and don’t forget to tell her how beautiful you think she is this holiday season.

Take the next step:

8 Ways to romance your wife 
Give her a gift she’ll treasure forever: How to write a love letter
10 Dates for any budget 

 

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7 Responses to “Think Before You Buy”

  • Doris says:

    Rachel it sounds like you have both figured out the perfect gifts….and you are enjoying them already which is awesome!! My husband and I often do that and I think that is perfect because we both get what we really want and all we have under the tree is a nice card to one another.

  • Rachel says:

    I can’t think of a good surprise present for my husband, and I don’t have a wish list of reasonably priced items for me. If he buys me expensive gifts (that I don’t need) then that is money from our joint budget. I think we should be moving away from an expectation of getting presents just because it is Christmas. I have a confession – I have been playing with this iPad since October but it is really my Christmas present. My husband has been having fun with an expensive camera he bought himself back then. There won’t be much under the tree for us but we have agreed it and that suits me.

  • Sara says:

    My husband handed me an envelope for Christmas. When I opened it it was a lovely poem he had written to me. He had not written a poem for me before this Christmas. The poem was to let me know that I could pick out a new dishwasher…Yes, an appliance. He told me he loved me so much and knew that washing dishes by hand was hard on my hands and he wanted my hands to remain soft and beautiful but dry and damaged from water & chemicals. It was so sweet and loving.

  • Leah says:

    Dear TD

    This article was written in an humours way. You are correct that the gift should be the though not just the item. I know from my experience, my husband takes joy in listening to me throughout the year and picking a present that he thinks I will love. The fact that he wants to give me something he knows I would love just makes me love it even more. Its about giving from the heart.

  • T D says:

    Before I started taking my submission to my husband seriously, I would have agreed with the comments and advice.

    Since I have started to focus more on pleasing him and less on myself, I look for the blessings in what he does give me. Those cookbooks, vacuums, tools, etc. are gifts recognizing what I do for him. The are an effort to make my life easier. What a wonderful show of love.
    The tickets to a monster truck rally are an invitation to be a part of his life. Tires are for keeping someone he treasures safe.
    The clothes he gives me are the ones that he thinks I look most beautiful in. He’s the one I really want to impress when I dress, after all.

    Accepting my husband and all he does for me has made my life so much more peaceful. I am happier than I have ever been because I am not always looking to change and improve him. He is happier and more willing to change and grow because he knows that I accept him right where he is.

    When I started to respect my husband again and to see the good in what he does, I fell in love with him all over again. I hope women will turn away from the messages the media gives and remember to think of others before themselves and they will learn to be content with what they have.
    I struggle with all of this still, but have be so blessed by the results of submitting to my husband and learning to be content that I never want to go back to fighting for myself all of the time. The passion we celebrate is so incredible that I want everyone to find what I have found.

    It is a little sad to me that a list should be published telling our husband what not to get us. Don’t we want them to choose what they think would be a good gift. So what if it isn’t exactly what we would have put on a wish list. The purpose of a gift is for the giver to show their love. It really shouldn’t be about the gift at all. It should be about the thought behind the gift.

    MEN: You are capable to choosing the perfect present for your wife. You know her better than anyone else. Trust your instincts. Tell her why you thought your gift was just what she needed. If you are really giving a gift of love she WILL know it.

  • Tracey M says:

    I am sending the link to this to my husband. He bought me not one…but two vacuum cleaners back to back on Christmas. 3 Years ago he bought me the roomba – self vacuum cleaner…ask me how many times I have used it. Then the next year he bought me the dyson – one we had been discussing for 2 years ! I have told him several times…any gift that involves cooking or cleaning for you, is NOT a gift for me ! This article made me chuckle because it is so true. Guys…think about the statement your gift makes. We women tend to buy gifts with thought. We shop and dig through stores looking for something to represent what we know “he will absolutely love this” while you tend to pick “something, I have to get her something”. If you are paying attention, she will drop hints. Ask for a list of the 10 most wanted things – her wish list. My husband does that now. Yes it takes the surprise out of it for the most part but in the end it helps him to be a more creative shopper.

  • For find the right christmas present for my girlfriend is really hard. I thought I will start eary this year. In your blog I found a few good ideas I have to check out. Thx for the advice.

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