Stressed Spelled Backwards

Written by Marilyn Nutter

culture_dessert My daughter Katie recently accepted a teaching job and moved out of state. As I helped decorate her apartment and she settled in, our “To Do” list for Tuesday included shopping for classroom items, including a picket fence to be placed at the base of the bulletin board. It seemed like a reasonable project given it was August. Reasonable that is, until we began to shop.

“I’m sorry,” a store clerk answered when we asked where the garden supplies and fences were located. “We put them away last week to make room for Christmas.” We tried three other stores only to find the same answer. Katie and I looked at each other and checked our calendars. Yes, it was August, but summer had vanished and Christmas appeared. ‘Back to school’ supplies were intermingled with harvest, Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas. What a picture— rushing the season and Christmas intermingled with everything else! It’s also a winning backdrop for stress.

Protecting the earth: Can you be an atheist and an environmentalist?
This generation: Finding hope in the face of AIDS

Rushing Christmas

Christmas seems to appear earlier each year. We rush the season, rush to get things done and fall short of expectations to make the season the perfect Hallmark commercial for ourselves and our family. But with planning and determination, we can reduce stress, slow down instead of rush, and keep Christmas as a focal point rather than have it get lost with competing demands, unrealistic expectations and an overload of events.

D: Determine, decide, and decline
Take out your calendar the first week of November or December and plan what you must do and when you can do it during the holiday season. Do the same with what you can’t do. We can’t do everything. Know your limits and those of your family and respond to them.

Schedule and learn to say “no”. Avoid planning a week with too many activities, late hours, or projects to complete. Decide what can be postponed or eliminated. Determine what is non-negotiable. Give yourself permission to decline activities and invitations.

E: Every day take a few moments for you
Maybe you want to read for a few minutes, exercise, or sit quietly and have a cup of tea. Whatever suits your needs, personality, and schedule, take time everyday for you. You can best take care of others when you have taken care of yourself. You, your family and co-workers will appreciate it.

S: Simplify
Think of the things that must be done, those than can be done and those that can be eliminated. I once worked for a company that told us to work smarter rather than harder. That turned out to be great advice for the workplace and my home.

In our family, we bake several different kinds of Christmas cookies. We deliver them to friends and neighbors and of course, we also eat them! But last year, with our children grown, I cut back on the variety and made double recipes of some. I still made my deliveries and kept my tradition, but I didn’t spend the same amount of time baking.

A gift wrapping station is another area where we can simplify. By creating a station, you can inventory your gift wrap essentials early and know what you need to purchase. Keep the materials out on a card table in your basement and wrap when you find a spare moment. You won’t have to take out all of the materials each time and you won’t run out of supplies because you’ve already assessed your needs.

Perhaps purchasing on-line instead of heading to a crowded mall is another way to alleviate stress and simplify shopping. E-mail Christmas letters may be a solution to addressing and mailing letters to some on your list. Think of what contributed to your stress last year. How can you be proactive and simplify that area so that it is not repeated?

S: Savor the moments
What special moments do you want to capture during the holiday season? Is it a special family meal, reading a Christmas book with your children, visiting an elderly couple who can’t get out, hosting an open house, driving to see elaborate Christmas displays, attending a concert or special church program, or making a gingerbread house?

Pause and take stock of what is important to you and your family during the Christmas season. What is it that you value and appreciate? Discuss priorities with your family. Make time for them and plan ahead. You may discover that activities done for years are not as significant now as your family enters a new life season.

E: Enjoy people and extend hospitality
Today we are busier than ever and seem to have less time for people. We procrastinate and think that we can’t invite anyone to our home unless we have a fancy meal, a picture perfect home and entertain. We can extend hospitality rather than entertain. Invite people over for cookies and hot chocolate instead of a meal. Or, ask your guests to share in the meal, each bringing a particular course. You might ask them to bring something that is a family favorite or has a special significance to them — an ethnic dish or one that is traditional. Sharing stories about their choice will allow for sharing of lives and getting to know people. It’s not about entertainment, but hospitality and enjoying people.

R: Refresh. Take time to refresh
Read the Christmas story with new eyes. Pause quietly and imagine the events. Read a Christmas classic, like the Gift of the Magi or A Christmas Carol. Set aside some time for prayer. Play refreshing and uplifting music during the day. Eat nutritiously. For years, I got sick around January 2nd. I finally came to realize that sugar and too much activity had taken its toll on my body. I was stressed and failed to refresh.

T: Take one day at a time
If you’ve planned, then you know when you look at your calendar, that you will eventually get to making cutout cookies, wrapping gifts, writing Christmas cards, and finishing handmade gifts. Separate the urgent from the important. Do today’s tasks today; don’t waste energy thinking about tomorrow’s list. What’s important will get done because you have planned.

S: Sit back
With planning, simplifying, and scheduling refreshment, you can sit back and experience joy.

Stressed spelled backwards? Why it’s desserts of course! Sweet and satisfying. Sit back and savor the season. You will have captured joy as a focal point instead of a stressful backdrop.