Home Alone for the Holidays

Written by Claire Colvin

Christmas, they tell us, is ‘the most wonderful time of the year’.  What are we supposed to do when it isn’t? As the cards and carols like to remind us, Christmas is a time for families and togetherness, peace and well being for all. If only the problems in life paid more attention to the songs on the radio.  If only it was that easy.

If you find yourself facing Christmas alone, December can be the longest month of all.  Whether you’re single or divorced, your spouse is on deployment, or there has been a death in the family, it’s easy to want to echo the Grinch’s sentiment — “I must find a way to keep Christmas from coming!” But going into hibernation for a month isn’t a realistic plan for most of us.  Christmas is coming, with or without our permission.  So how do you face the season when it doesn’t look the way it used to?

If you’re not going to be surrounded by family this year you can still celebrate Christmas. With a little planning, it can be a wonderful time of year.

1. Decorate the house. Even if you’re the only one who’s going to see it, take the time to decorate your home. You don’t have to put everything up, or drag all the boxes out of the basement.  It doesn’t have to look just last like year.  Put up a Christmas tree or hang some lights.  Bring some Christmas into your line of sight, even if it’s just something small.  One of the hardest things about spending Christmas alone is the feeling that everyone else is having a great time and you’ve been excluded. Make sure you’re not excluding yourself.
2. Plan something special. There’s nothing worse than hearing everyone else’s excitement over the upcoming holidays and having nothing to look forward to yourself. If you haven’t got big plans for the next couple of weeks, now is the time to fix that. Plan a treat for yourself, something really special. Not only will it add to your holiday, but it’ll give you a great answer to that dreaded question “so what are you doing for Christmas?”
3. Be around other people. Sitting around the house by yourself on Christmas Day is incredibly hard. Find people to be with. If you have friends that are alone this Christmas, host a dinner at your house. If you’d like to help out somewhere there are always soup kitchens and charities that need people on Christmas Day. Whatever you decide to do make sure you have someone to say “Merry Christmas” to.
4. Give yourself some quiet time. Sometimes the reason we’re alone at Christmas is a sad one. If this is you this season, give yourself the time and the permission to feel sad. Scale back on your activities.  If there are some traditions you cannot face this year, politely excuse yourself.  Christmas has a way of turning the world into fantasy where everyone is supposed to be happy and everything is wonderful. Resist the urge to fake a smile all through the month of December.

It can be tempting to skip the season altogether, to say “there will be no Christmas in this house this year”. I  urge you not to do that. Christmas gets all glammed up, but at the heart of it all, it celebrates a very quiet moment. You can pass up on the extras of Christmas, but don’t miss the promise of the season.

Christmas began with a little baby in a stable.  It started with two parents who were tired from a long journey and caught off guard that the baby would choose this particular moment to be born.  It wasn’t glamorous, and it wasn’t shiny but it did mark the moment that hope came to the world.  (If you’re rusty on the details, you can read the Christmas story from the book of Luke.)

Whatever your circumstances this December, remember that what we’re celebrating here is hope.  If you’re not able to wrap your arms around the noise of the season, then just wrap your fingers around that simple truth.  Christmas is Christmas because Jesus came down.  He came so that whatever we’ve done and whatever has been done to us can be redeemed.  He came to pick up the pieces — or as it says in the Bible, he came “to make all things new” (Revelation 21:5).  In Psalm 34 it says that he “is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”  If that’s you this season, we’d love to help you get to know him.  You can send us an email or read more about knowing Jesus.

Tags: Christmas, Claire Colvin, Culture, Family, loss, Men, sex and love, singles, Women

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One Response to “Home Alone for the Holidays”

• Chris says:

  October 30, 2009 at 12:36 pm

  Family is crucial. If you don’t any, try to create a family of your friends. There are so many ways to reach out & connect. Creating Extended Families

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