Should I Stay or Should I Go?

Written by Sue Ronnenkamp

If you are against the idea of leaving your long time home, or still “sitting on a fence” about whether to stay or move, let me give you my perspective on this.

Changes, changes, changes

Although I read and hear over and over again about the value of “aging in place” (remaining in your family home as you age), I just don’t buy it. Just as we change throughout our lives, our lifestyle and housing needs also change.

If you’re like most people, you’ve lived in several different places over the course of our life. All of these living situations fit you and your lifestyle at the time, but think what your life would have been like if you had never moved from the first home where you lived after you were born. Think of all the life experiences you would have missed!

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I believe the same is true with moving on later in life.  Your current housing situation should be a good fit for where you are now in your life. Typically this move will take you to a setting with less responsibility, more available support and assistance and hopefully more opportunities for interaction with others.

Your current lifestyle should also allow you the time and freedom to do more of what you enjoy, and to have new experiences.

Since I’m sure you’re aware of many of the pros and cons of staying where you are currently living, let’s look at the pros and cons of moving on:

“Moving on” later in life:

  • If you are proactive in deciding to move, you can choose a housing option that better meets your current needs, and make plans for your future needs as well.
  • You can remove yourself from the responsibility of house and yard maintenance.
  • You get to decide when and where you move as well as determine what happens to your belongings as you “lighten the load.”
  • You have a chance to make new friends who share your current interests; you may also feel revitalized living in a new setting with new opportunities to meet people and do things.
  • You will need to leave your current home, but you can always take the good memories with you.
  • You save your family the responsibility and burden of making decisions about your living situation and your belongings later.

Keeping some sense of control in your life will contribute to your overall functioning and well being as you age. That’s why I am so convinced of the value in older adults “taking the bull by the horn” and letting go and moving on in their later years.

If you make this decision, you have the opportunity to focus on yourself instead of focusing on house and yard maintenance. You can enhance your own successful aging by spending time on physical exercise you enjoy, taking full advantage of new experiences and opportunities to learn and grow and engaging in life and enjoying a new network of friends.

I think this is great! What do you think? Are you open to considering the positive aspects of a later life move?

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2 Responses to “Should I Stay or Should I Go?”

  • Jamie says:

    Relocating is a terribly difficult thing to do because of the loss of things that are familiar including friends and family. It is also a huge task to downsize both emotionally and physically. What kind of support do you have from family in the area that you are living M.Hartman? Have you talked with them about your thoughts of moving? I would think that it is a wise thing to have those discussions now. Moving does not get any easier in the future. And the benefits of moving into senior housing now is that you can build relationships with the people who live there with you now while you are still energetic rather than moving into one when your mobility is reduced and your health more restrictive. I would encourage you to talk these things through with your family and not be intimidated by the enormity of the change. If this is the right time to make such a move you will do well in whatever situation you go to.

  • M. Hartman says:

    I am in the process of downsizing now and also thinking about moving. I am finding it difficult to make the move because of friends and family where I now live. Maybe I will downsize and stay here. At 76 I am weary of driving the tractor and mowing along with keeping the house in good condition.

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