Table Talk Tips

Written by Kim Wier

culture_tabletalk Seeing that we needed to slow down and make communication a priority, I started a new family tradition to keep the conversations focused. We call it Table Talk. My favorite thing about Table Talk is that it doesn’t require a lot of planning. While cooking, I come up with a question that our family is to answer during dinner. Sometimes they are general questions like, “What was a highlight of your day?” Other times they are more specific: “If you could redo anything today, what would it be?” Then each person is given the opportunity to answer – without interruption. I am amazed that something so simple as focusing my family on one topic has resulted in less chaos and more sharing. We laugh. We listen. We learn.

Special occasions give opportunities for variety. My favorite variation is Christmas Table Talk. Each person in our family writes a question he or she wants to ask about Christmas.

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We mix spiritual and not-so-spiritual questions together, but we ask only one each night.

Make a commitment to fit Table Talk in at least twice a week. If you have older children, have them pencil in those days on their calendars so they know that it is a night set aside for a family meal.

Make an ordinary dinner feel special by eating at the table on real plates or lighting candles and using cloth napkins.

Even if it is just providing background noise, turn off the stereo or TV so that you can give one another undivided attention.

Just before everyone is finished eating, introduce your Table Talk Christmas question. A parent should go first to model an appropriate answer.

Resist the temptation to guide answers by saying things like, “That’s not really your answer. Think harder.” Each person should feel free to express his or her thoughts. Be encouraging. Remember, the goal isn’t right and wrong, but communication. Be a good listener.

An excerpt taken from Redeeming the Season.