Adoption – Life is not an Accident
I am adopted.
I had a wonderful childhood and I have great parents that I love deeply, but I can’t deny some tough moments that came as a direct result of being adopted. I remember being at the doctor’s office once and hearing my mother explain to the doctor that they didn’t have any medical history for me because I was adopted. I felt weird and detached. It was almost like I was hatched instead of born. Doesn’t everyone have medical information? If I didn’t have a medical history what did that make me?
When I entered junior high and then high school, I had to process a lot of emotions about my adoption. At first I was angry at my birth mother and father. As a baby I had been abandoned by these people. What kind of people would have a healthy baby and then just give it away? That led me to feeling worthless. I told myself I was a big mistake, that I was a loser.
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But as I mulled over all of my emotions, I started to realize I was grateful for my life.
I could very easily have been aborted. I would never have known what it meant to build a sandcastle or smell a flower or listen to great music or have a good friend. I’d never have fallen in love. I started to rethink what my birth mother had done. She could have aborted me. “Out of sight, out of mind,” they say. But she didn’t do that. She loved me enough to give me a chance to live. I began to develop a great admiration for her, whoever she was. She didn’t take the easy way out.
Still, knowing that I was adopted turned me into an overachiever. I thought giving my best meant being the best. But I was wrong. I tried to stay in everyone’s good graces. I was trying to prove my worth to everyone, trying to earn my keep. My parents didn’t expect a perfect daughter. Why was I putting such pressure on myself? I thought that I had to be perfect to show God how grateful I was for my life. But God didn’t intend me to be chained to the treadmill of perfection for His sake. I came to realize that He loves me simply because He made me. There’s nothing I can do to impress God.
Later in life after having married, I decided to search for my birth mother. I wanted to tell her how much I appreciated her going through what was undoubtedly a very difficult time for her to give me the chance to live. I wanted to say “thank you” to her. I wanted to encourage her and show her she had made a wise choice in giving me to my family.
Through the years my birth mother had become my heroine.
I no longer thought of her as a loser or as an irresponsible young teenager. To me she had become an incredibly courageous young woman, a person of great strength and integrity. She had given me all the things that I never would have had if she had kept me or aborted me. I wanted to hug her and show her I had turned out all right. Every single goal I’ve ever accomplished has been a direct result of her decision to not abort me and to give me to my family. She put my needs before her own. It was not easy, but it was right. She loved me that much.
Searching for and finding my birth mother was an incredible experience. It caused me to deal with feelings of self-doubt, fear and insecurity all over again, but in the end I have gained a new person in my life. She is not my Mother, but she is Alyson — a courageous woman that I love very much. I got the chance to say “thank you.” I got to introduce her to my children. She is part of my life now and gets to see all the things that happened because of the decision she made all those years ago.
If you are pregnant or have a friend that is pregnant and are wondering what you are going to do, let me tell you that you have the potential to be a heroine to your child.
You have the chance to choose life for your baby. You can put your baby’s needs before your own and choose adoption. Let me assure you that you would not be just “giving your baby away.” You would be creating a family in a very special and unique way. You would be giving two people a child that they desperately want and you would also be giving your baby the advantages you may not be able provide at this stage in your life.
If you are pregnant, you may be scared to death right now, but rather than making a snap decision, take the time to explore the many resources available to you. There are many agencies that would gladly come alongside you and give you all the help you need and assist you in making the right choice for you and your baby. You have so many options available to you. Use them.
Life is not an accident.
There is a God that loves each person on this planet — the brightest and best of us, the weakest and most challenged of us, the unborn children and anyone that has been down this road already and has chosen to end a pregnancy. God loves you and He wants you to have a personal relationship with Him. Life is not an accident. Your life is not an accident. God has an incredible plan for you and it starts with getting to know Him personally. I invite you to get to know your Father.
Take a look at your life. How would you describe it? Contented? Rushed? Exciting? Stressful? Moving forward? Holding back? For many of us it’s all of the above at times. There are things we dream of doing one day, there are things we wish we could forget. In the Bible, it says that Jesus came to make all things new. What would your life look like if you could start over with a clean slate?
Living with hope
If you are looking for peace, there is a way to balance your life. No one can be perfect, or have a perfect life. But every one of us has the opportunity to experience perfect grace through a personal relationship with God through His Son, Jesus Christ.
You can receive Christ right now by faith through prayer. Praying is simply talking to God. God knows your heart and is not so concerned with your words as He is with the attitude of your heart. Here’s a suggested prayer:
Lord Jesus, I want to know you personally. Thank you for dying on the cross for my sins. I open the door of my life to you and ask you to come in as my Savior and Lord. Take control of my life. Thank you for forgiving my sins and giving me eternal life. Make me the kind of person you want me to be.
Does this prayer express the desire of your heart? You can pray it right now, and Jesus Christ will come into your life, just as He promised.
Is this the life for you?
If you invited Christ into your life, thank God often that He is in your life, that He will never leave you and that you have eternal life. As you learn more about your relationship with God, and how much He loves you, you’ll experience life to the fullest.
I’d love to have more encourangement in life from you