Ways To Give

Escape From Reality

Written by Colleen Wheeler

Was there something you always wanted to be as a child? Some children want to be doctors, or firemen or teachers. I always wanted to be an actress.

Growing up in New York, I dreamed of escape. I was the oldest of six children and the caretaker–my mother was often ill and slowly developed a drinking problem. My father worked all day and would walk in through the front door and out the back to the basement, where he worked on hobbies and drank beer. As the oldest girl, everyone leaned me on for support. I cleaned, shopped and changed babies, was my mother’s friend and my father’s wife. Lacking the parental support that most children receive while growing up, I craved love and attention.

By the time I was sixteen I started to drink and smoke cigarettes and marijuana.

I aggressively sought escape from my reality. After finishing High School, I became a regular drinker at a bar in a very small town, beginning a phase of promiscuity that lasted for years. Nothing mattered to me except running and escaping. I danced in a bar for two months to make some quick money for my move to California. I was going to be an actress. It was what I’d always dreamed of.

I took some acting courses, but my drinking became a stumbling block. I moved in with a man that I thought I loved, and we travelled up and down the California coast growing marijuana in our renovated school bus as we went. We became regulars at swap meets where I eventually sold everything I had– my car, jewellery, even childhood trinkets. I was completely dependent on him. I had promised myself that I would never let a man hit me. After a few drunken episodes, this man I thought loved me beat me up. I flew back to New York. I had dreamed of acting, marriage and children, but I ended up back where I started, alone at home now with a black Shitsu named MaiTai.

Needing to rebuild my life, I began working in a hair salon and joined Alcoholics Anonymous. One day while cutting a young man’s hair, I began to tell him what was going on in my life. He told me about this person, Jesus Christ, who could heal me of my illness. Curious, I went to church with him. The people there prayed for my healing and I prayed to ask Jesus to come into my life. Shortly after, I moved to a small town and I wasn’t able to find a church. I went to AA meetings and other support groups seeking truth for my life there, rather than in my new relationship with God.

Things were going well and I was becoming known around town for my acting abilities when my mother became very ill with cancer. I moved back to New York to be with her, and six months later she passed away. A year after my Mom died, I met and married an independent filmmaker, thinking that he would make all of my childhood dreams come true. After we made our first movie together our marriage became a nightmare. One very painful year later, we divorced.

After the divorce, I got a job offer to work in the theatre as a hairdresser for a famous actress. It seemed that wherever I went in the city someone gave me a something to read about Jesus, but I paid little attention to it. I was eight years sober and had tried everything to better my life, but there was still a big void in it. I had the truth right in front of me, but I couldn’t see it. Finally I called a friend who I knew had Jesus in her life. She and her husband had been praying for me. After I told her how empty I was, she told me that I needed God and invited me to a women’s prayer meeting. I went knowing that I would do whatever I had to do to please God, and discovered that I didn’t have to do anything to please God – He already loved me. Here was the freedom and love and acceptance I had been looking for for so long. I no longer need to escape my life. Instead, I can celebrate the life that God has given me and the unique character he created in me. He has provided the love and attention that I always craved, and He is all I need.

Take a look at your life. How would you describe it? Contented? Rushed? Exciting? Stressful? Moving forward? Holding back? For many of us it’s all of the above at times. There are things we dream of doing one day, there are things we wish we could forget. In the Bible, it says that Jesus came to make all things new. What would your life look like if you could start over with a clean slate?

Living with hope

If you are looking for peace, there is a way to balance your life. No one can be perfect, or have a perfect life. But every one of us has the opportunity to experience perfect grace through a personal relationship with God through His Son, Jesus Christ.

You can receive Christ right now by faith through prayer. Praying is simply talking to God. God knows your heart and is not so concerned with your words as He is with the attitude of your heart. Here’s a suggested prayer:

Lord Jesus, I want to know you personally. Thank you for dying on the cross for my sins. I open the door of my life to you and ask you to come in as my Savior and Lord. Take control of my life. Thank you for forgiving my sins and giving me eternal life. Make me the kind of person you want me to be.

Does this prayer express the desire of your heart? You can pray it right now, and Jesus Christ will come into your life, just as He promised.

Is this the life for you?

If you invited Christ into your life, thank God often that He is in your life, that He will never leave you and that you have eternal life. As you learn more about your relationship with God, and how much He loves you, you’ll experience life to the fullest.

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