Study Overseas: The Toast and Roast Behind the Journey
Written by Estrella Wei, Translated by Henry Tung
Shortly after my husband and I married we decided to move to the U.S. I hoped to attend college there on scholarship and so I had to take the TOEFL and GRE entrance exams. In the mist of my preparations for the exams, I fell behind on my classes. I was very nervous about the exams and as the date grew closer, my anticipation mounted.
The day before the exams finally came. I crammed all day and then tried to go to sleep. I tried everything to get to sleep, but nothing worked. My anxiety grew with each sleepless hour. When morning came I was exhausted and drained. I made it through the tests, but when my results came back my scores were about a hundred points lower than my practice tests. I was devastated. All my dreams of getting a scholarship were gone.
The Turning Point: Passing the Doorsteps of Becoming a Believer
After coming to the U.S., I was back to square one trying to apply for college admission. I followed the footsteps of many fellow Chinese students and changed my major to Accounting. The process wasn’t easy though. I had to spend a year studying for the GMAT exam and going through a rigorous application process.
I want to be content: Can you be truly content with your life?
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Their sincerity and affection really touched our hearts. I asked countless questions such as “If God is good, why is there still suffering in the world?” Frankly, I wasn’t fully pleased with any of the answers I got. But I was curious, so I kept going and continued reading the Bible.
One day I watched a movie called Biography of Jesus, and it deeply touched me. I had read about Jesus in the Bible, I knew his story, but as I watched the movie it really struck me that he was a real person. I understood that he died in my place and I wanted to know more about him. Right then I prayed and asked him to take control of my life
An Incredible Finish: Sleepless Night Yet Again, but a Brand New Journey
Before long it was time to study for the CPA exam. I started studying three months before the exam. That didn’t give me much of an advantage, though, as half of the topics covered in the classes were completely new to me. I tried my best to keep up with the pace of the class, but there was not much time for the final review. Toward the end, I started to panic and didn’t know what to do. I don’t know how I managed to live through those days.
The night before the big exam I was really stressed. I prayed before I went to bed, asking God to give me a good night’s sleep. But when I woke up, it was just 2:00 in the morning. I was really sad and complained to God. I grumbled to God about my anxiety before exams. “Shouldn’t everything be smooth once I followed your path?” “Why didn’t you let me sleep through the night?” “Are you just going to leave me here to fight my own battles?” As I continued through the list of complaints to God.
I didn’t hear any response in the darkness of the night. Yet there was a warm and firm force building inside my heart that I just can’t quiet explain. I could hear Him saying: “Don’t be afraid, I’ll be here with you and guide your way.”
Like the old times, that long night passed with me still unable to sleep until almost sunrise, and the anxiety about the exam was still there. Nonetheless, the difference was that God there with me to support me, to guide me, and to give me strength when I needed the most.
I passed the CPA Exam and my score for each of the four parts is more than 95%. I know my struggles with these exams may be long forgotten in a few years. But I will never forget this sleepless night. I know He holds tomorrow, and you can take that to the bank.
Life can be a roller coaster. The demands and pressures that modern women face can be overwhelming. What is the answer? Where does peace come from? You can have the peace that you are looking for; there is a way to balance your life. No one can be perfect, or have a perfect life. But every one of us has the opportunity to experience perfect grace through a personal relationship with God through His Son, Jesus Christ. You can receive Christ right now by faith through prayer. Praying is simply talking to God. God knows your heart and is not so concerned with your words as He is with the attitude of your heart. Here’s a suggested prayer:
Lord Jesus, I want to know you personally. Thank you for dying on the cross for my sins. I open the door of my life to you and ask you to come in as my Savior and Lord. Take control of my life. Thank you for forgiving my sins and giving me eternal life. Make me the kind of woman you want me to be.
Does this prayer express the desire of your heart? You can pray it right now, and Jesus Christ will come into your life, just as He promised. If you invited Christ into your life, thank God often that He is in your life, that He will never leave you and that you have eternal life. As you learn more about your relationship with God, and how much He loves you, you’ll experience life to the fullest.
