My Life as a Religious Extremist

Note: To protect his anonymity, Raghib is not his real name.

Have you ever tried to kill someone? I did. Although I would never think of doing such a thing now, at one time in my life it seemed to make sense. This is my story.

Early life

I grew up in the Middle East, and started reading the Qur’an when I was six years old. As I was sent off to school, I was warned about the dangers of living in a big city. “Especially”, I was told, “beware the Christians,” who were the “fire of Hell”. I was told many things about the Christians, including that they believe in 3 gods, don’t believe in the Prophet Muhammad, and that the Bible is corrupt. These things left a strong impression on me, and I actively persecuted Christians in my school. I began to hate Christians very much.

Away from home

When I arrived at university, I joined a Muslim brethrenhood with the goal to further encourage Islam on campus. When I later met a fellow student who was Christian, I felt great hatred toward him, and treated him poorly whenever I saw him.

One time this Christian student brought a Christian preacher to the campus to speak. My friends and I became infuriated when some of the Muslims on campus began to talk about the Bible. My Muslim group met secretly and decided to kill a Christian on campus in order to intimidate people. I had never killed or tried to kill anyone before, but to many people in my group killing seemed as natural as having a cup of tea.

So one night we waited until it was dark, then hid inside the dorms for our target to come out. When we saw him, we attacked him with metal poles and beat him badly. We thought he was dead, but he was only unconscious and had broken bones. Then I ran and hid outside of the university until I felt it was safe to return. To my horror, my friends informed me that we had made a mistake and attacked the wrong person, who was not a Christian! I felt terrible about that, and although we still wanted to kill this Christian, I couldn’t bring myself to do it after making that mistake.

Life after university

Eventually I graduated from university and became an accountant, a prestigious job which I enjoyed. But at a company event where business leaders were visiting from many other businesses and countries, I noticed some of them were drinking, which is forbidden in Islam. I felt offended, and left the party. When my Imam heard that I had been near alcohol, he had me severely beaten and thrown out of the mosque. He told me that I was lucky that they had not killed me, and I was banned from the mosque for 40 days!

During this time, I needed to find other things to do, since I couldn’t attend the mosque. I visited some places in the city that were forbidden by my mosque, like the disco. I found that I actually enjoyed going there, so when the 40 days were up I touched a bottle of alcohol on purpose, just so that I would have another 40 days outside of the mosque.

I wasn’t happy with how I’d begun to live my life, but at that time I didn’t feel at home inside the mosque or outside of it.

Then the Christian acquaintance of mine (whom I’d tried to kill years before) came to visit me. He said he had been praying for me. He saw that my life had changed, even by the different clothes I was wearing. I honestly told him that I felt as though I needed forgiveness but that I could find none in my religion. He told me that there is someone who can forgive me, and told me about Jesus. I was interested but skeptical.

I ended up visiting his church. I sat near the back, and was ready to run at any moment, because I was anxious about all the rumors I’d heard about the Christian church, about idols, images and statues. But there were none in the church. Instead there was singing, and the Christians were actually praying for those who were persecuting them. What a difference from what I experienced at my own mosque!

Afterwards, I tentatively told the leaders at the church about how I had persecuted Christians, expecting retribution. But the leaders showed me in the Bible where Jesus said to pray for those who persecute you.

Investigating Christianity

I decided to try reading the Bible. I started with the book of Matthew and ended up reading all night. I thought it seemed too difficult to live the kind of life described, and I was told it was indeed impossible to do so … without Christ living in my heart, that is. When I was told that, I was intrigued, and wondered how it was possible to live such a life.

Later I attended a Christian revival meeting and again felt convicted in my heart. I learned that many of the things I had been taught when I was younger about Christians (such as that they believe in 3 gods) is not true. My Christian friend challenged me to become a Christian, but I refused, saying that I was born Muslim and would die Muslim. I challenged him that if I could see the sun in my right hand, and the moon in left hand, then I would convert. But I made the challenge not out of confidence but out of fear. I had fear in my heart.

Then my friend arranged a meeting at a home nearby. There I met a woman who had been burned alive many months ago because of her Christian faith. I had heard that she died, but somehow she had survived. Even though she was clearly disfigured from this suffering that had been inflicted on her, she remained strong in her faith and was willing to forgive those who persecuted her.

When I saw her, I asked myself what I was so afraid of, why did I have this fear in my heart? I thought that if this lady could handle all that, surely I too could handle any persecution that might come my way if I were to give my life to Christ. I made my decision to become a Christian, and my friend was literally jumping for joy! I repeated a prayer my friend told me, but I said it from the heart, I was not just repeating it. I asked Jesus into my life.

My new life

I experienced a great peace, and my life began to change. Even though I was thrown in prison when I confessed to my family that I had become a Christian, I remained faithful. Eventually by God’s grace I escaped from prison, and although I still have the physical marks from my chains, I now seek to share the great freedom that I’ve found with others: Christ now indeed lives in my heart, and He yearns for you to know him.

You can receive Christ right now by faith through prayer. Praying is simply talking to God. God knows your heart and is not so concerned with your words as He is with the attitude of your heart. Here’s a suggested prayer:

Lord Jesus, I want to know you personally. Thank you for dying on the cross for my sins. I open the door of my life to you and ask you to come in as my Savior and Lord. Take control of my life. Thank you for forgiving my sins and giving me eternal life. Make me the kind of person you want me to be.

Does this prayer express the desire of your heart? You can pray it right now, and Jesus Christ will come into your life, just as He promised.

TweetEmailPrint