Written by Wu Min, translated by Eugene Wu
I could not conquer the corruption in my heart
Before I came to know Lord Jesus Christ my life was a big blur. I was full of arrogance, selfishness, and jealousy. My temperament was very uneven and immature. My mood changed with the weather, a slight change could make me feel very high or very low. I had no sense of responsibility, even toward my marriage and my child.
Other people thought that my life was smooth sailing, but I was not at all sure what future held. I looked like a person of high morals, but only those dear ones around me, whom I had hurt deeply, knew what a scoundrel I was. I had asked myself more than once why I was like that. I wished I could be different. More than once, I made up my mind to be a different person, but I knew I could not conquer the corruption and meanness in the depth of my own heart.
My last refuge and hope
After coming to the United States I came to know Lord Jesus and accepted Him as my personal savior. I remember saying in my first prayer: “Lord Jesus, you are my last refuge and hope.” I was more or less testing Him then. But God is real and alive, and I know He is with me always. He set out to destroy my arrogance in order to make me to change my focus in my life on him, to live by Him and for Him, and to understand that “the end of the rope for man is where God takes over.”
The suffering and hopelessness in this world will bring more suffering and hopelessness, forming a vicious circle. But with Him suffering and hopelessness becomes the short cut to get to know and trust Him.
New life and new living
I have learned that becoming a Christian does not exempt the believers from suffering. On the contrary, suffering is a good way to develop a steadfast and firm trust in God. We all know that it’s hard to predict what may be in store for us, or to know what’s on other people’s mind. But since God is in charge and is just and righteous, we should have nothing to fear. In comparison with His bounteous love and grace, our suffering is fleeting and nothing to speak of.
When I knew for sure that Lord Jesus died on the cross for my sins and rose again from the dead, and that because of my trust in Him, my sins are forgiven I was filled with joy. God not only gave me a new life, He also gave me strength to face all sorts of difficulties. This is made possible by Jesus Christ’s redeeming power. How wonderful and great is the grace of God!
Thank the Lord! He not only saved me with plans that are beyond my comprehension, He also made it clear to me that He wants me to shepherd His little lambs He had entrusted to my care – my wife and my child. I now realize that my marriage is a gift from Him as is my child. God told me that I should follow His example of unselfish and committed love in loving my wife and child. God has entered my home and is changing and moving everyone in the family. Praise the Lord!
What about you? Do you feel lost and alone? Do you crave peace in your heart? Are you looking for the meaning of life? You can receive Christ right now by faith through prayer. Praying is simply talking to God. God knows your heart and is not so concerned with your words as He is with the attitude of your heart. Here’s a suggested prayer:
Lord Jesus, I want to know you personally. Thank you for dying on the cross for my sins. I open the door of my life to you and ask you to come in as my Saviour and Lord. Take control of my life. Thank you for forgiving my sins and giving me eternal life. Make me the kind of woman you want me to be.
If this prayer expresses the desire of your heart, pray it right now and Christ will come into your life as He promised. If you invited Jesus Christ into your life, thank God often that He is in your life, that He will never leave you and that you have eternal life. As you learn more about your relationship with God, and how much He loves you, you’ll experience life to the fullest.