Comments on: My husband checks out other women

By: Lydia

Lydia — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 22:14:17 +0000

This sums it up for all women. It’s not that we don’t mind you saw a pretty woman, it’s how long you look and how you do it. We don’t like the turned head for more than 3 seconds look especially if you are with your wife or girlfriend. We don’t like excuses for looking. We don’t like your starring at women with the popped out eyes or dear in the headlight look either! We also like to be treated the same in public as we are treated at home if it were the 2 of you. Other than this it upsets us! Train your brains move on to something else after you have looked so everybody will be happy!!!!

By: Doris

Mon, 30 Jan 2012 19:24:31 +0000

Debbie, I have to say that it sounds like your husband has a serious addiction to pornography that probably predates your marriage. Unfortunately there isn’t an easy fix to porn addiction. Men do not realize the impact it has on both their relationships with their wives and to their wive’s self esteem. Does he recognize that this is a problem? May I suggest that you watch the movie Fireproof together? It is an excellent movie that depicts what happens in a marriage when pornography is involved.

It also sounds like there is an element of abuse in your marriage. May I suggest that you talk to your husband about whether or not he would be willing to for professional counseling? He needs to deal with his anger and you need to find a way to deal with why you allow that behavior as well.

I am glad you stopped by. We do have online mentors. If you would like to have own to walk alongside of you, just fill out the form on this page and one will email you. http://powertochange.com/discover/talk-to-a-mentor/

By: jenna janes

jenna janes — Sun, 29 Jan 2012 04:32:54 +0000

i used to get super pissed at my man for noticing every female in the store then we broke up for a while and i was standing in line krogers and this really cute well built girl wasled past me i stared at her the whole time nobody likes looking at ugly people if i look he can look there is a hugh difference between glancing and gauking tha’s rude and ignorant he’s not gonna throw her down and do her think about what i said you will learn to feel alot better. thanks jenna rn ill

By: Debbie

Debbie — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 23:19:15 +0000

My husband and I have been together six years, we are in our early 50s and we are still an attractive, sexy couple. I was angered and hurt when I discovered two years ago that he looks at pornography on the internet of teen girls and young women doing gross acts, and has downloaded hundreds of porn movies. We have had many serious, abusive arguments about the hurt and distrust that he has brought into the marriage. I give him the best love, friendship and regular sex….more than any man should ever receive. He also stares at younger women when we are out in public, and all this upsets me and disturbs me. He will then start an abusive argument to make me leave. He then sends text messages of apologies asking me to come home and that he loves me very much and he will change. I thought we were soul-mates and we were once the perfect couple “so in love with each other” he is a romantic and also a professional singer. His job allows him to be at home through the day when I am at work, so he is always on the computer/internet. Please advise me on how I can fix this problem and to help my husband overcome his temptations and anger issues.

By: Jamie

Fri, 06 Jan 2012 22:20:14 +0000

So Anon, why is it so important to be subtle when we all have the freedom to check out others as we please and as out natural instinct dictates? I think the subtlety is because it can be hurtful to the one we love. If it is hurtful than why would you want to take the risk of hurting someone that is so important to you?

By: Anon

Anon — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 20:31:40 +0000

Pfft, hypochondriac nonsense, both genders have as much freedom as they like to glance at another; I know I’d never betray my own partner, and it’s [usually] only natural instinct that makes me look in the first place.
Women do it just as much (you hafta’ learn to look out the corner of your eye, dem wimminz be subtle).

By: Jamie

Tue, 03 Jan 2012 20:15:32 +0000

Hi Sammy, thanks for sharing your point of view here. You sound like you have quite a bit of experience on this issue. What makes you think that women are just as visually stimulated as men?

I would also like to clarify that Dave and Donalyn are not suggesting that it is alright for men (or women) to allow themselves to lustfully gaze at others. You are right when you say that it destroys marriages. Jesus tells us that to look at another lustfully has the same consequences as actually engaging in an adulterous affair with them. That is the power of a mind left without moral checks. Now since we have seen how hard it is for some to guard against the lustful looks it reminds us that we need help from outside of ourselves to guard against eyes that linger and minds that fantasize. Jesus promises that when we put our trust in Him He transforms us so that we are not controlled by the passions that lead to sin. Instead He helps us to overcome any temptation. That is the hope of those who trust in His salvation and have become His followers.

By: Sammy

Sammy — Sat, 31 Dec 2011 14:43:40 +0000

This article is based upon the lie that men are more visual than women, and thus can’t help it.

In truth, women are just as visual, and as sexual, and they look at men as often – but the difference is that they don’t make it obvious.
Most men can’t comprehend just how sexual most women are, and how much they fantastize about sex.

Men who make it obvious they look at other women just haven’t grown up yet. They are also coming from a position of assumed power where they think it’s okay to make it obvious. It’s not okay – and it ruins marriages.

By: Brenda

Wed, 28 Dec 2011 16:02:16 +0000

Andy, I am sorry for your pain and I can understand the intense discomfort that you are experiencing when you see your sister. Would you mind expanding on why you believe you cannot confront your sister? The Lord Jesus tells us in Matthew 18:15-17:”’15 If your brother [or sister] wrongs you, go and show him his fault, between you and him privately. If he listens to you, you have won back your brother. 16 But if he does not listen, take along with you one or two others, so that every word may be confirmed and upheld by the testimony of two or three witnesses. 17 If he pays no attention to them [refusing to listen and obey], tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a pagan and a tax collector.’” [Amplified Bible]

Scripturally, you have every basis for confronting your sister on her behaviour, especially if she knows the Lord. However, if she does not know the Lord, then she cannot be held accountable to Christian standards. You can, however, talk to her about coming to know Him, as she is in obvious need of His direction. If you would like to talk further about your situation with a mentor, please fill out the short form at the following link, and one of our online mentors will contact you quickly and confidentially:

http://powertochange.com/discover/talk-to-a-mentor/

God bless you, Andy. I pray you are able to speak with your sister, and that she hears you about her need to turn her life around and seek the Lord for His direction.

By: Andy Johnson

Andy Johnson — Sun, 25 Dec 2011 20:53:58 +0000

You think men are like that. My lfe is hell depressed these days because of my sister. My elder sister is 30 and single and she found a man online, they haven’t met but have been chatting for about 2 weeks or so. The other day, her mail was open on my laptop and I saw one of the chats accidentally. To my surprise, she was having explicit sex chats with that person. And by explicit, I mean really down and dirty things I can’t even begin to describe here. This shook me. I don’t know how to react to this. When I see her now, I feel weird and ashamed and cannot infer as to what the hell is going on her doing doing things like that. In the past, she has had 3 failed relationships, been through one abortion and once tried to commit a suicide. I cant confront her on this and can’t get it out of my head. This is crazy. Please help.