My boyfriend has disappeared
I haven’t seen my boyfriend for 6 weeks. He keeps saying that he is busy and will see me when he has more time. I don’t really know what he thinks and what I should do. I met him two and half months ago. In the first month, he was very sweet and called me everyday. However after a month, he started to disappear without calling me or telling me where he went. I was worried and called him many times until I could reach him. I wrote many letters to tell him how I felt. I was afraid to lose him.
I don’t understand why he doesn’t see me or call me. I can sense that he doesn’t care for me as before. Do you think my worrying is scaring him off? How can I make him come to see me again? I don’t know what I should do, stop calling him or continue to call him from time to time. I really miss him and cannot control my need to call him. I really hope he will come back to me. It is so difficult without him in my life.
Advice: Sometimes it’s hard to face the truth about someone you care deeply about. Unfortunately, it is obvious that this young man does not want to see you anymore. You have to accept that.
What does real love look like? You don’t want to manipulate him back into your life do you? You don’t want to try to make him love you? Love freely given is the kind of love we each need in an intimate relationship. In fact, God is that way. He doesn’t want to force or coerce anyone into loving Him and choosing to do His will. He gives us a choice because He knows that if we make that choice to follow Him and love Him – then, we will be offering God real love.
There is much to learn about this experience for yourself. I encourage you to begin to work on your self-esteem. Get the book The Search for Significance by Robert McGee or Learning to Tell Myself the Truth by William Backus.
What about God? Have you considered the fact that Jesus Christ loves you and has a wonderful plan for your life? No matter what the circumstances are, He can change you from the inside out and give you a new perspective on life. Take a step towards Him and learning about how He can change your thinking and perspective. Read about How to Know God Personally.
Building other relationships: Another recommendation I have is that you begin to build your friendships. God made you to be part of His family and to be in close fellowship with others in healthy relationships. Do you have a youth group in your church where you can get involved in some small groups and begin to make some closer friends?
Realize that you will experience grieving through this loss. But, you can grow stronger in this broken place. Read about The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren
Take a look at your life. How would you describe it? Contented? Rushed? Exciting? Stressful? Moving forward? Holding back? For many of us it’s all of the above at times. There are things we dream of doing one day, there are things we wish we could forget. In the Bible, it says that Jesus came to make all things new. What would your life look like if you could start over with a clean slate?
Living with hope
If you are looking for peace, there is a way to balance your life. No one can be perfect, or have a perfect life. But every one of us has the opportunity to experience perfect grace through a personal relationship with God through His Son, Jesus Christ.
You can receive Christ right now by faith through prayer. Praying is simply talking to God. God knows your heart and is not so concerned with your words as He is with the attitude of your heart. Here’s a suggested prayer:
Lord Jesus, I want to know you personally. Thank you for dying on the cross for my sins. I open the door of my life to you and ask you to come in as my Savior and Lord. Take control of my life. Thank you for forgiving my sins and giving me eternal life. Make me the kind of person you want me to be.
Does this prayer express the desire of your heart? You can pray it right now, and Jesus Christ will come into your life, just as He promised.
Is this the life for you?
If you invited Christ into your life, thank God often that He is in your life, that He will never leave you and that you have eternal life. As you learn more about your relationship with God, and how much He loves you, you’ll experience life to the fullest.
Hi there. I had a similar experience. I was dating someone for three months and all of a sudden a couple of weeks went by where he didn’t want to really talk to me or see me. You have to move on. Trust me. I am in a loving relationship now and I know that begging for someone to give you attention and love just doesn’t work.
Real love is when you can’t get enough of that person. Six weeks apart is not normal.