The Friendship Mirror

Written by Gail Rodgers

Why is it we are drawn to some people more than others? What makes us want to maintain a friendship? Friendship can be a life-line. Connecting with like minded people who genuinely care about one another is a gift we take for granted all too often.

Friends are people we feel good with.

Some make us laugh, some hear us out and really listen to our hearts, others support us when the going is tough and still others just hang with us when we need down time.

A true friend holds up a mirror in which we see ourselves.

They are the ones who show us our strengths when all we see is weakness; they point out our good character traits, like courage and loyalty, when we are down on ourselves. They remind us of past accomplishments and spur us on in our future. They build into our lives and we are richer for having spent time with them. We come away with a stronger sense of “self” because we have been together.

Does your relationship need help?: Talk to a mentor
Do you want to start over?: Facing the future after a major loss

Be mindful of the mirror you hold up for your friends. Do you reflect back to them the goodness you find in their hearts and in their character?

It’s popular today to be sarcastic and even mean in our comments with one another. It’s all said in the “I was only joking” way. Yet when we come away from times with friends and admit that their words cut and hurt we need to evaluate our friendships. A true friend can joke and laugh with you but the tone changes when they laugh at you. The reflection they hold up to you is negative and it leaves a bad taste in your mouth. You come away with a lesser sense of “self”. People who leave you with this reflection are not true friends.

Be a relationship builder

Think about the reflection you hold up to those close to you. How do they feel after an interaction with you? Be intentional about reflecting back their strength of character. Be gentle when honesty requires a hard look at something in another’s life. Be conscious of building people in a way that challenges them to continue moving forward in their lives.

Remember that words make up only 7% of your communication. Be aware of the tone and body language you are sharing with those you care about. It communicates loud and clear!

Be intentional about surrounding yourself with friends who are truly friends and not ones who actually tear you down all in the name of fun.

Lasting impressions

Over the course of time people will seldom remember what you said but they will always remember how you made them feel.

Evaluate your friendships. Nurture those that build into your life. Seek out ways to build into the lives of those you care about.

Listen well and pay attention to the feelings behind the words.
Respect different points of view. Remember every issue has two sides just as every coin does.
Never betray trust. Hold confidences with care.
Never manipulate by being intentionally controlling, needy or weak.
Deal with conflict. Left to simmer it will boil over and do damage.
Cultivate warmth and caring.

Did you know you are invited into a friendship with God? It is the ultimate friendship that can literally change your life! How do you start this friendship?

First you acknowledge your need of God
“Lord, I have lived my life with very little thought of you. Forgive me for my independent and stubborn ways. I need you in my life.”

Invite Him to walk with you
“Today I invite you to come into my life and to walk with me. I need your guidance and your help.”

Thank him for being there for you.

“I only barely understand that Jesus died for me and rose to life again yet I know it is significant in my knowing you. Thank you for reaching out to connect with me today. Thank you that you will never leave me. Find some help on your spiritual journey. “Lord, help me to grow in understanding this faith step I have taken today. Thank you that have opened this door of friendship to me. Lead me as I follow you. Amen.