Fostering Success: Influencing your dreams

Written by Katherine J. Kehler

“If women would realize what an influence they have, they would be filled with pride. If men recognized how influential women are, they would be scared to death.”

It is said that we all influence at least 250 people in our lifetime. Each of us has the responsibility of leadership. Every woman can be a leader, yet surveys often show that most women greatly underestimate their influence.

At home leadership can be organizing our children to clean the house or instilling values and morals into their lives. In the workplace, it can be motivating people for sales. We influence others by what we say and do–and by how we do our work.

When we think about leadership, we must learn to discern between fame and greatness. Fame is Madonna; greatness is Mother Teresa. There is a tremendous shortage of truly great leaders–leaders who are trustworthy, ethical, good, honest and who have high personal standards.

Whether you know it or not, whether you believe it or not, you’re a leader–an influencer.

Your opinions are listened to and acted upon. The following eight principles will help you make the most of your influence:

1. Have a dream that will leave this world a better place – Have a big vision–something that is beyond your capabilities–to keep you challenged. If we aim our efforts for this moment only–for ourselves, for the accumulation of material things, for pleasure–we will soon become dissatisfied and disillusioned with life.Leadership is simply the ability to turn a dream into reality with and through the cooperation of other people. To throw your life into something worthwhile, your dream must be worth dying for. What do you get excited about?
2. Know what your strengths are – Each of us have some of the skills needed to do a great job. We need to surround ourselves with people to fill in the gaps. In order to be effective, you need a team to work with. We lead on the basis of our strengths; we gather our team on the basis of their strengths. Your family is also your team. Are you helping each member of the family exercise their strengths?As a team or as a family, meet regularly. Have a purpose statement that you work toward. Review it often so you don’t lose your focus. Set short and long term goals, and evaluate two or three times a year to see how you are doing. You will be motivated toward reaching your goals together. Give credit where credit is due. Say “thank you” and encourage them often!
3. Strive for excellence – The people you want to influence will not rise to a higher standard of excellence than what they observe in you. To lead effectively, we must to do things right, not just do the right things. Whatever you are trying to teach someone, they need to see it in you first. Leaders and influencers must strive for excellence.
4. Be persistent – Mother Teresa was a determined woman. The key to being a good leader is endurance–being a non-quitter. You will be tempted to quit and may be encouraged to quit by friends and enemies. Be unwilling to throw in the towel. Be determined, be consistent.In order to leave this world a different place, you have to be persistent. People of influence don’t grow in a comfort zone. They are not people with exceptional talent; they are people who have learned from their mistakes and get up and try again.
5. Be ready for resistance – When you are in leadership, you have to solve problems. Sometimes we have the faulty notion that we should be able to go through life problem free–that if we have problems, something is wrong with our life. Everyone has problems, it’s how we handle them that sets us apart. We have to be responsible, no matter how painful it is. Running away is not an option.It is easy to wait for someone else to solve your problems, but you don’t need to wait for someone else’s help. You will have problems. Be ready. Expect it. If you know you are doing what is right, you won’t cave in when the going gets tough. Facing problems and dealing with them by making good decisions is the difference between a leader and a follower.
6. Set an example – I am amazed at how often people want a position, but not the responsibility that goes with it. It is natural to want to escape responsibility; however, having a lasting positive influence on those around you means working long hours. It means being available to solve problems or give direction whenever necessary. Being a leader means being a servant, whether you are in your home or at work.
7. Be ethical – The Vancouver Province newspaper once printed a study that said that the average person tells 200 lies a day. The lies were everything from giving excuses for our behaviour, to saying things like, “I hate to bother you”. While there has been some debate on the actual number in these findings, many of us would have to agree that were are less truthful than we should be. Don’t expect your staff or your kids to do what is right if they see you doing what is wrong. It is incredibly important that we have a strong code of ethics to base our decisions and lifestyle on.What set of values dictate your ethics, your behaviour? Do you have a code of ethics? Do you have convictions that cause you to say, “I will never do that” or “for me, that is not an option?” If you don’t, sit down, think it through and write down your non-negotiable code of ethics. If you don’t have standards, when temptation comes you may very well do something that you will be sorry for later.
8. Let God be your guide – Elizabeth Dole, former President of the American Red Cross, stated in an interview: “[t]o me it’s very important to know I have a source of strength beyond my own. When I’m undertaking a difficult assignment or making a tough decision, I’m glad I don’t have to rely on my own energy, wisdom, and judgement.”Twenty-four years ago, I realized I needed a source of strength beyond myself. The goals I had set for myself were not satisfying and even my relationships did not fill my deepest needs. At the age of thirty-two, I gave the control of my life to God. He is the source of strength I need. I simply prayed, “I want You to be my Guide from now until I die.” He heard me.

Oliver W. Holmes was quoted as saying, “I find the great thing in this world is not so much where we stand, as is what direction we are heading.” What direction do you think you will be heading 5 years from now? 10 years from now? 25 years from now? What direction are you taking the 250 people you are influencing?

You too can find the power to change your life and your world–let God be your guide.

You can have the peace that you are looking for; there is a way to balance your life. No one can be perfect, or have a perfect life. But every one of us has the opportunity to experience perfect grace through a personal relationship with God through His Son, Jesus Christ.

You can receive Christ right now by faith through prayer. Praying is simply talking to God. God knows your heart and is not so concerned with your words as He is with the attitude of your heart. Here’s a suggested prayer:

Lord Jesus, I want to know you personally. Thank you for dying on the cross for my sins. I open the door of my life to you and ask you to come in as my Savior and Lord. Take control of my life. Thank you for forgiving my sins and giving me eternal life. Make me the kind of woman you want me to be.

Does this prayer express the desire of your heart? You can pray it right now, and Jesus Christ will come into your life, just as He promised.

If you invited Christ into your life, thank God often that He is in your life, that He will never leave you and that you have eternal life. As you learn more about your relationship with God, and how much He loves you, you’ll experience life to the fullest.